Confusion in the restroom

[AnitaH]

Just the other day I was using the men's room when another man came in and was obviously very confused for a minute. Personally I thought it was rather funny but I imagine he didn't. Let me set the background here. Since starting HRT in the spring I have let my hair grow out and gotten my ears pierced. For awhile now I've been carrying a black woman's purse at all times. I was letting my facial hair grow for a few days in preparation for another round of laser removal.

So I'm in the men's room wearing jeans, a rather nondescript light jacket, longer hair, and a purse over my shoulder. Another guy comes in walks just past me, stops and spins completely 360 degrees. I see him look at the urinal then he starts to say, "this is the," when he finally looks and sees my unshaven face in the mirror. At that point he says nothing more but simply goes into the stall next to him and shuts the door.

I must say that this isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a woman when out as my male self. It seems to happen more in the fall or spring when I'm wearing a plain light jacket and of course carrying my purse. I've been called ma'am at the grocery check out and at restaurants until they took a good look at me. I guess there are just some things that are so associated with a certain gender, like carrying a purse, that most people will just assume which you are without really looking at you. Just an observation.

Any one else out there get mistaken for a woman regularly when not trying to be so?

[mirandacdgirl]

When he starts to say, "this is the," you should finish it in your deepest voice possible.. "Mens Room", but never make eye contact and act as if you didn't say anything.

[Nikki A.]

Ifyou mistake me for a woman when I'm in drab, you better get an eye exam real quick and please don't drive

[Rachelakld]

Personally i would also expect someone girlie with purse to be in the ladies, especially if their brain set is fem.

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe you are progressing faster than you originally thought.
The ladies room is getting closer every day.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm afraid I'm never mistaken for a woman. Even with no beard shadow and carrying a purse, Anita.

However, I try to use the ladies room as often as possible. They all have private stalls and it just plain feels weird putting on lipstick and straightening my wig in the mirror in the men's room!

[Lynn Marie]

The gentleman's reaction to your hair and purse when seen from behind seems to me to be perfectly normal and quite courteous. If this happens a lot to you, then you just may be sending mixed messages. It's quite similar to the reactions experienced by the mixdressers among us. It just confuses well meaning innocent people with good hearts.

[Oddlee]

Ha! I was at the office of a cardiologist last Friday - the nurse came out to call me to the appointment... "Miss Mah...? Uh, Lee (last name)." She said it before she had identified whom she was calling, and was apologetic when she realized her error (I was even wearing male underwear). I found the situation pretty amusing...

Lee

[Persephone]

H Anita!

Yes, I've had it happen in the men's room several times. Can't recall if I was necessarily carrying a purse or not, but the long hair and some of my other attributes tend to send mixed signals. On some occassions the guy has been coming in the door, seen me at the sink, backed up and looked at the sign and then come in, on other occassions it has been a full-on insistence that I am in the wrong room.

If I'm pretty much finished I'll just leave, other times I'll do Miranda's thing of dropping my voice down and saying "I know."

One of the places I seriously want to avoid controversy is in the rest room, particularly the men's one.

I'm afraid that once you start "leaking" femme with hair, purse, etc. it comes with the territory. The problem is that it leaves you kinda uncertain as to which restroom to use in order to avoid any issues.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[sometimes_miss]

Ha! I was at the office of a cardiologist last Friday - the nurse came out to call me to the appointment... "Miss Mah...? Uh, Lee (last name)." She said it before she had identified whom she was calling, and was apologetic when she realized her error (I was even wearing male underwear). I found the situation pretty amusing... Lee

You were sitting in the waiting room in your underwear? Wow, that Dr wants to save time.

[sandra-leigh]

I had the same thing happen in a Home Depot; I had my back half to the door, drying my hands, so my long hair and top and jeggings and purse would have been what was visible. Poor fellow was confused enough to walk out again to check the sign.

[CynthiaD]

I used to get "ma'am'ed" occasionally when I was in my 20's. Even with copious facial hair. But these days, not so much.

[Celina]

I haven't been out in public, so no experiences here. But I found some of the stories quite funny. I just had that scene playing through my head, where the guy comes in, see's you, backs up and check if he entered the right restroom... Must have been priceless! :P

[Richelle]

I agree with Lynn. I am often one of these "mixeddresses" and good nature people get confused and not sure to say Ma'am or Sir.

Richelle

The gentleman's reaction to your hair and purse when seen from behind seems to me to be perfectly normal and quite courteous. If this happens a lot to you, then you just may be sending mixed messages. It's quite similar to the reactions experienced by the mixdressers among us. It just confuses well meaning innocent people with good hearts.

[AnitaH]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I enjoyed them all. I'm afraid I do often send mixed signals. I guess it comes with the territory as I continue preparations for full time female. I do find occurrences such as this somewhat amusing but as someone else here has stated I'm not sure how much more I excitement I want to find in the men's room. I like the idea about finishing the statement in a low voice "men's room" but my mind doesn't usually function that fast.

AnitaH