I try and repress the desire to dress but it's been with me as long as I can remember. I do quite like the feeling and seeing others dressed, but do any of you have any tips on quelling these thoughts.
I try and repress the desire to dress but it's been with me as long as I can remember. I do quite like the feeling and seeing others dressed, but do any of you have any tips on quelling these thoughts.
Sorry, no help. I didn't fight them, I joined them.
Hugs, Robin
none here either! i tried to stop and ignore them for a year and 1/2..... but i was a bear to live with and here i am, dressing again
melissa
I have this occasional desire to make up and dress. So I do. And the desire goes away. For a while.
Well, you could find other activities and focus your mind on them. I don't think it's an easy fix, but with practice and persistence you might be able to at least more deeply repress the urge. That repression could, of course have it's own undesirable consequences, but I guess it's worth a try.
Do you have any idea what triggers the desire, I'm so pleased I found this website
I think if we knew what causes these desires, or triggers them, a lot of us would chose not to give into them. Unfortunately we have lived with this most of our lives with very little answers. Thankfully, at least we now know we are not alone.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Maybe I should try and find someone in surrey to hold my hand
Ganet;
Welcome to the forum. I have been dressing for over 50 years. Some times I dress
a lot, others times not at all.
You dress as you want to; trying to put it in a closet, just does not work. Some day
you will want to wear that special something, and it will all come out again.
I think that rite now, you might be torn between what society dictates what you should
be wearing and what you want to wear.
Do not be afraid to wear what you want to. Just enjoy the moment.
Rader
When I was in suppression mode, mindfulness exercises used to help. Acknowledge the desire to dress when it hits, then affirm that you are choosing not to express it, then drop it and do something else. Stuff like that.
It was also helpful to keep my nails meticulously trimmed, shave my chest and stomach hair, take care of my skin, etc. Little grooming habits that are within the societal norms for men but which for me were private acknowledgements of my desire to be feminine.
I won't preach to you, but ultimately for me this stuff wasn't enough and I got to a point where I just kind of snapped and said "**** it I'm going to do what makes me happy".
Hope some of this helps.
BreathingOriginally Posted by garnet
I have tried to repress my desire to dress but anxiety is getting the better of me. I did get to go out dressed yesterday and has somewhat qwelled it but I just am drawn to it. Couldn't explain why I just have to.
Hi Garnet,
Firstly, welcome to a very helpful and friendly forum. There are lots of very nice people here who will assist where they can, and a look back through the archives will give you days worth of reading!
Unfortunately, your first question is one of the big unanswered (and possibly unanswerable) ones. I have no idea WHY I feel the need to dress, just that I do feel it and I found my life a lot happier when I gave in to the desire. I find that it chills me out and makes me feel good and more ready to face the world after some Beth time.
Good luck and hope you find what you need here.
I tried just about everything I could think of for nearly 30 years to quell the thoughts. I never could do it. I can quell them when I need to for a short time, such as work or other times in public, usually. Once in a while I just have to deal with it as best as I can. When there isn't the good times to be thinking about it or feeling it, I just try to focus on what is going on around me. Then later on I can relax and let it go.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
I quit cold turkey in 1999, thought I'd give it up if I tried, put myself in a 9 year exile then discovered that I was lying to myself. Then the October 2008 stock market crash happened, my company laid off a third of it's work force, and I took a pay cut, then I went back into crossdressing to self medicate myself from the stress of my debts, then I found myself being a very repressed self-loathing gender non-conformist for those 9 dry years. Now I'm back with a vengeance.
You are what you are, I am what I am. I feel so awesome and happy now that I live life the way I have always wanted to live.
Last edited by NathalieX66; 09-26-2013 at 08:04 PM.
Hi Garnet,
Welcome to a great and supportive group. I spent a good part of my adult life repressing/hiding/loathing what I felt in me to do. Finally, I had to embrace or cause irreparable emotional damage. I am not sure why I do it and to be honest I stopped trying to figure out why (it made my head hurt). All I know is that now that I have embraced it, I have never been happier. It is like two halves of my soul drifted away long ago and now they are getting acquainted again. I feel a need to dress but that is allow me to express my feminine side and my male side still expresses through this. Likewise when I am in male mode, the newly discovered Isha side is there keeping me centered.
So unfortunately sweetie I cannot offer any tips to quell these impulses. The best I can offer is to embrace and integrate.
Hugs
Isha
Hi Garnet, That sounds like a question with no right answer.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
I know a lot here won't agree with this but for me prayer is what I help me. It did not take away the whole desire but it helped me understand myself and who I was.
I have tried, over a period of many years, to stop/suppress/repress the desire to dress with varying degrees of success. By success I mean I had periods ranging from weeks to months were I did not want to dress. What worked best was focusing on my family, job, hobbies, etc. Prayer worked for short periods of time but continuously asking The Lord to remove those thoughts just made me aware that I couldn't stop thinking about it!
Cross dressing seems to fill some deep void in my life which I still haven't been able to determine. The best I can do is to accept that I have a strong feminine side and deal with the problems and challenges as they occur.
Garnet,
Welcome to the forum, and I try to suppress these desires for a fleeting moment and then go with the flow.
It is a normal reaction so do not let it bother you.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Seems to me Garnet that you're looking for quitting support in a forum of people who either tried to quit and failed or have no interest in quitting! It's sort of like looking for an Alcoholics Anonymous group in a bar.
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
I fought the 40 years war with it and finally realized I was fighting myself and not some intangible concept.
Once I realized this was part of what makes me who I am I surrendered and accepted victory. Now I'm content to be me.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Garnet, I tried to quit a couple of times, each time when I was getting into a relationship. It never lasted. The first time, I purged a lot of pretty clothes, that I still miss sometimes. The second time, I had enough presence of mind to just put them in a storage unit. Now that I don't have to hide that part of myself anymore, thanks to the fact of my fiancee being accepting and supportive, I don't bother trying to suppress the desire...if I want to be Amy, I just do it.
Getting to be Amy whenever I want did kind of "quell" the desire, to a certain extent. Just after I came out to my fiancee, I was dressing almost every day. Now I'm OK with just doing it once or twice a week. Somehow I don't think that's the answer you seek.But that's the answer I have.
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016
The desire to dress (I'm assuming as a female) is in your mind. If you want to stop doing it or thinking about it, just stop. If you find yourself thinking about it, think about something else. If it's dressing that you want to stop, just don't do it. Put on your boy clothes and do something manly.
And don't hang around crossdressing websites.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
Thanks for all the comments, I guess I was just looking for an impossible answer. Pleasing to know others are in the same boat just a different levels. I guess the thing is I enjoy wearing tights and a skirt around the house but after 10 minutes find them quite boring and just take them off. I have a desire to dress in public but I don't know why and I guess the same thing may happen then.
Trying to figure it out I see smartly dressed women and they always have an air about them of confidence and focused minds. I know this in not the real extend of their feelings but it's this projection I'm attracted to.
I think most of you are right with the answers you gave, I need to focus on something else and stop looking in closets.
Thanks and sorry for the ramble.
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