First time in a busy public place... no one seems to mind

[Khaleesi81]

Hello,

Yesterday I was feeling adventurous, I was already dressed to go to a support group meeting, so took a trip up the M1 to Meadowhall shopping centre. I had the opportunity and was psyching myself up a couple of days before.
As it was a weekday evening, I thought it would be quiet... turns out there was a student event on and the place was packed. Argh! Having driven that way I was undeterred and went for it... and no one cared! Dunno how many people clocked me, but no one said anything and I actually felt quite comfortable. Definitely some people noticed, walked past a group of 3 lads and got a thumbs up from one of them. No idea what this means!

Shop assistants seemed eager to help too, ended up summoning the guts to try something on and got a nice v necked long sleeve shift dress. The staff were really friendly, commenting on my purchase. (I think they were happy to serve someone polite as the girls in the queue before me were quite stroppy!)

All in all, a great time, despite my feet acheing a bit as I was wearing boots with a mid heel. And a pencil skirt which meant I couldn't walk too fast!

So- quick question, does it affect you at all if you are 'noticed' when out and about?

[nhlighthouse]

Good for you and so glad you had a semi-good feeling....It takes a lot of MOXIE to do what u did. With that being said it shows you how strong the human desire is and what you can actually accomplish. I am still trying to build up enough courage just to have a PEDICURE! Ears got pierced and the next has to be a PEDI!...I ADMIRE YOU!....Mychelle

[kimdl93]

Seems you had a successful outing. Positive reaction from the lads and the ladies alike!

I didn't answer your question at first, so here it is. Yes, it affects me when someone notices, but seldom in a negative manner. I've had relatively few evidently disapproving reactions over the years, a few knowing smiles and a lot of very positive feedback. In the end, I don't go out seeking approval or worrying about disapproval...I go out to experience life.

[susan jackson]

Strange as it seems, but busy places are normally the best places to go to.

If there are a lot of other people around, it's much easier to blend in

[deebra]

None of the three posters above really answered your question, so let me try. When I'm walking thru the mall, WalMart, getting gas I always notice other people to gage their reaction to me, even in drab do they question that I might be dressed a little fem. Some I think look at me and I'm wondering is it just a normal look they give everybody when passing or do they pick up on something thats not what they are use to seeing a male wear such as fairly tight boot cut girl jeans with embellishment on the rear pockets along with medium heel boots. A tee shirt thats made from soft clingy material. The front of my jacket protruding a little (is it just a nicely developed male chest or is it boobs since I'm wearing the ????? jeans and boots). It makes me question wheather they figured me out as a cd, are puzzled and know something is different but can't quite figure it out, or in the case of a gg or cd know that I am wearing girl clothes and of course probially bra, panties and nylons. I do feel a little uncomfortable but then I pass others that don't even see me, I say "screw it", I'll wear what I want I'm not huring anybody and with all the weird-o's out there with piercings, weird hair, purple hair, droppy oversized male jeans, painted on girl clothes with lots of clevage, etc. I'm o.k. enjoying the freedom to dress as I like just like them. I even admire them for not being intimated by society but self confident enough to go public dressed as the minority. So the more I go out I am developing more confidence to ignore any looks and enjoy the feminine feeling that goes with wearing female clothes in public. I would love to see more cd's dressed in public and regular males start wearing some female items that are far superior to the drab clothing offered to males.

[nhlighthouse]

DEEBRA......YOU GO GIRL! I feel the same way...Just a little warning...DON"T LET YOUR DEFENSE DOWN...Be prepared for the extreme ones that will attack you verbally and hopefully not physically! Being in femme I have a much better appreciation for GG's and what they have to put up with and preparing themselves for the public!

[Lynn Marie]

Looking for other people's reaction is a fool's game. Accept the fact that you will be noticed whether good or bad, and step out with confidence. Take charge of your surroundings, own the place, have no fear. Pity the poor souls who lack your style and class.

[Khaleesi81]

Who dares wins... was thinking of that in the car. Whilst I'm still a little cautious, I think that was a fairly big step. Even if someone knows, I'm doing what I want to do and having fun so that's the main thing, right?

[Beverley Sims]

The more people around the safer I feel.
Not likely to get busted in a crowded mall.

[robindee36]

Does it affect me if I am noticed? Suppose it depends on how the 'noticing' unfolds. I operate on the assumption most who take a close look can figure me out. If it escalates into a confrontation, insulting remarks or the like, it changes the calculus.

Mostly I go about my business and don't worry. Just being Happy, Happy, Happy as Robin.

Hugs, Robin (Little Ms Happy!)

[Tracii G]

Some people will notice some won't I just go about my business.
Does it effect me? Sometimes depending on the situation.

[Vanessa5]

It used to effect me and I used that as an excuse to not go out. Now I just don't care. I am being me and enjoying life to the fullest I can.

[jjjjohanne]

When I am out dressed in a skirt, I am always noticed. I only partially crossdress. At first, it was SO tough to go out in anything. Then I realized people don't seem notice my nude pantyhose under shorts. Then I wore darker shades and saw the difference in the reactions. Many people still didn't notice it seemed. When I first wore a skirt in public as a man, it was SO difficult to walk out from between the racks in that store where I might be seen. But, during that outing, I relaxed. No one was people watching and I eventually walked down a main aisle. No one was there to look. Then I talked to a sales rep about an item. I relaxed more. I went to the mall entrance and decided to take a short walk where only one person might see me. Then I walked farther. I ended up walking the whole mall. Only reactions were brief stares. I was on alert and was looking at everyone. When I looked a person's way, they "politely" stopped staring. I was OK. It was tough, but I was OK. I went out more like this and became more comfortable. Most people aren't going to do anything even if you walked around naked. Certainly, they are going to politely tolerate you wearing a conservative outfit. I have since gone out and done significant shopping, eating, etc. in a skirt with almost complete comfort. People take a look because it is unusual. But it is VERY uncommon for someone to react openly in a negative way. Of course, if someone does react negatively, that has tons more impact than all of the polite or even supportive people's reactions. I have not had very many negative (or shall I say, openly rude) reactions.

I just re-read and I think I should edit to say that the few negative reactions I have had in the last few years did not have much more impact than the positive or neutral reactions I have received.

[BillieAnneJean]

For some reason most people totally ignore me when I am OUT enfemme.
Those that do notice always loose interest immediately.
Women who are in their mid twenties to mid thirties seem to be the most accepting.
But I don't care. I am having fun with this and I go out about once a week. Late October I will be OUT enfemme all weekend.
Have fun!
Billie

[linda allen]

I don't get out often but when I do, it's "all girl" and attempting to pass as a female. I try not to interact with people, but I have had some say "good morning", "good afternoon", etc. so I have had to reply in my Michael Jackson sounding female voice.

It does affect me mentally if I see a dissaproving look or hear some mumbling behind my back. It means I haven't done well enough in my presentation.

Sometimes I'll brush it off and continue, sometimes I'll decide I've been out long enough and I'll head on home.

[Nikki A.]

I love going out to busy places because I also feel it easier to fit in and not get noticed. If I get noticed (read), well that's gonna happen, I'll never see them again so who cares.
Confidence (or at least looking confident) is the best way to "pass". They say animals can smell fear and after all aren't we animals too. I recently did a wholesale shopping trip into NYC with my friend enfemme and had a good time shopping, haggling and walking all over downtown Manhatten. If only it wasn't 95 degrees that day, which wreacked havoc on the makeup and wig although wearing a longer gauzy skirt was cooler than pants or shorts would have been. First time walking over a subway grating in a skirt was a bit of a pleasant shock though.

[Maria in heels]

Khaleesi...sounds like you had a wonderful day out, and I'm envious of you. I still am uncomfortable after all of these years, and once you are noticed, I think that we tend to be uncomfortable. You on the other hand appear to have gotten over this "fear" and that is wonderful!

[divamissz]

Does it affect me if I'm noticed? I guess it depends on why I am being noticed. There are positive and negative reactions.

Positive:
A woman compliments me on my hair or my jewelry or my outfit
A salesperson treats me like just another woman
Another person asks my opinion on what they're looking at in a shop

Negative:
Someone passes by me and openly stares at me
Someone passes by me and I can see them turn and look back at me while trying to get someone's attention
A salesperson follows me around in a store, trying to not look like she's following me
Someone tries to take a picture of me on their phone and thinks I did not see it

If it's positive, I feel great. If it's negative, I ignore it unless it's so blatant that it needs a reaction. Most of the time, I don't pay attention to what people think of me because rarely do they comment. I've been out enough not to be crushed by the negative. Of course, learning about going out by spending evenings in the French Quarter in New Orleans with toughen your skin quickly...

Just enjoy it.

[TokyoLily]

I just steel myself against the fact that, yes, I have to expect getting a look or two, and even the occasional comment (within earshot). When I get that through my brain, I just go out and have a good time.

One of the good things about being a foreigner in Japan is that I get looks when in drab anyway, even when I'm just doing normal stuff. I'm pretty used to it, so I blow it off. So when I get looks en femme, I just chalk it up to it being because I'm a foreigner! There's no difference!

[Mollyanne]

Looking for other people's reaction is a fool's game. Accept the fact that you will be noticed whether good or bad, and step out with confidence. Take charge of your surroundings, own the place, have no fear. Pity the poor souls who lack your style and class.

well said. WELL SAID INDEED!!!!!!

Molly

[Bree Wagner]

Of course it affects me!

Does it affect me if I'm noticed? I guess it depends on why I am being noticed. There are positive and negative reactions.

If it's positive, I feel great. If it's negative, I ignore it unless it's so blatant that it needs a reaction.

Diva pretty much nailed it. Positive reactions are wonderful and make you feel great and you just have to try and not let the rare negative reaction affect you too strongly. Let it roll off and do what you can to frame it as being their problem, not yours.

-Bree

[susangirl]

Khaleesi81, nice post and great question. Once I made it out the door I thought places without any people or a few was the way to go. It took a few year to discover I was wrong. If its you and only one or two others you both just check each other out. Over time I realized I wasn't interacting with anyone which I needed and long for while dressed. A few others have posted that busy places and crowds are great for blending in. Going to the movies is one good example. When am dressed as Susan I really don't care if people notice me. I have never had a bad experience. Your picture is very nice and excellent figure you have.

[5150 Girl]

Most people these day's can't see past (and don't care past) their I-phones....

[mariehart]

I never did go out in public except in a quiet spot or at night. But really I was too cautious I think. I passed pretty well too so would probably have gone unnoticed for the most part. It really is something I would like to do particularly visit a big busy shopping mall and casually visit all the ladies clothes shops although I do fear that I would panic. On that point I had a dream on those lines recently. I was at some kind of family event and I was really well dressed. My siblings and Mother were there. They noticed me but were really positive about it. Even so I panicked became embarrassed and hid away.
That clearly is a big fear of mine.

[Khaleesi81]

Maybe it is something where you do think of worst case scenarios, but the reality is quite different.
I think it is unrealistic to expect to be able to pass by completely unnoticed, but once you have the confidence to shrug off any fears, that's a good place to be?