While I wouldn't say I get afraid anymore, one trick I do if I'm feeling self conscious is just act like I'm doing something important on my smartphone. I figure then it may just look like I'm making sure it is what my girlfriend wanted me to pick up, but if nothing else it prevents eye contact
I have no fears at all. Went shopping today en femme and had a great time and got some incredible buys at Irenes Lingerie in Plainville,CT and Nordstom's Rack ain Farmington. I must have tried on 8-9 dresses. Got and $80 dress for $23. It's the only way to save since what looks good on a hanger does not always look good on you and vise versa.
whenever i go to buy clothing i always make a quick quip about hoping the clothes are the right size for my wife and i usually buy something for men in the mix, i get super scared and darn near HATE shopping for clothes but i can't get the right fit if i order online....makes me sad....at least till i get home and get to try on my new clothes........then i so happy that it makes the whole ordeal totally worth it!
Nothing like a good sniveller!
I used to get the nerves up when making the purchase. I posted on this site well over 7 years ago of an encounter I had at the counter when I mixed some femme wear in amongst the non conspicuous groceries, only to strike the checkout matriarch from hell. I had all of the fun at the end of the day. since then it has been all plain sailing and I now walk in dressed, semi dressed or in drab into shops that specialise in clothing or womens' apparel. No more snivelling!
I'm not scared. I shop for dresses all the time in drab and try them on, nobody gives a s**t what you are buying, as long as you are buying. Be a lion not a mouse.
I've found the majority of SA in the women's departments ( and most women, in general ) are very accepting and non- judgmental of my "girl" side, especially the younger crowd working today...have found them very helpful and offer great suggestions.
I used to worry, get nervous and breakout sweating. I do all my shopping in Drab. I must admit that I don't try things on but i'm fairly comfortable with my size(s) and will now just browse, pick out something I like and go to the desk and pay. Don't care if it's undies, bra or dress. Don't recall being challenged, but do occasionally say if it's the wrong size can 'she' change it (she being me of course). I did get an 'odd' look when i brought some size 16 (UK) jeans in QS last week though, but nothing was said. Years ago I used to worry when you had to write a cheque as the SA would be able to identify you, but nowadays you just poke your card in the slot, tap in your number and thats it, the SA doesn't know who you are or what your name. A few weeks ago I was in ASDA (= Walmart) and must admit to getting a bit flustered, when the self checkout wouldn't work - I had 2 bras, 1 pair of shoes (Size 9 (UK) 3" heel courts) and a pile of make up and had to ask the SA to clear an error because it wouldn't register an eyeliner pencil on the bagging side (kept saying put item in bagging area). But I wasn't challenged and nothing was said. But it must have been obvious they were for me. The other thing you get in some stores are those pesky security tags. I either go to the normal sales desk or if using a self checkout , just politely call the SA over and ask them to remove the tag. No problem.
The more I do it the more confident I get.
I was very fearful of the "perception" of the associate at the desk.
But at the end of the day, they have no right to judge a purchase.
Just enjoy it, plus remember if it wasn't for our money... they wouldn't have a job
Life is too short, take life less seriously
I used to fear doing this but as I got bolder with my CDing, it dawned upon me that if you are confident with yourself, then there shouldn't be an issue. I've gone out many shopping many times but for the sake of not being recognized, at places that I know I wouldn't be (mostly across town). But I've also shopped places I frequent just because they had something I wanted. In fact I had the same cashier once in drab and again en femme. Unless you have some kind of unique identifier (tattoo, etc.) they won't make the connection. They see many people each day and you're just another one.
I will buy clothing in drab no problem -- I bought a tennis dress in drab and nobody batted an eye. I've also purchased makeup in drab and while the male cashier may have thought something was odd, he didn't say a word. Again, it's your level of confidence that will have the most impact. This makes buying en femme even easier and enjoyable, although I try to make transactions as quick as possible without much discussion as my voice is rather deep and hard to disguise no matter how I try. I have, however, had to speak up on a few occasions for whatever reasons and it was awkward. I now do whatever I can to avoid having to speak with the cashier, but will smile and carry on otherwise.
I enjoy shopping for Jolene, but my big fear always is being seen by someone I know.
Would have to go into witness protection.
I just did an article on this for my blog ( not published yet)...I will copy and paste it below ....btw I went food shopping today...snuck in some new blush...the checkout girl lifted her head up when she saw it, looked at me quick ( i wasnt paying attention) then went about her business...no biggie..anyway..here is the article
I had a girl mention to me that she was terrified of buying women's clothing in public. I could completely relate to this. In fact I STILL get a little nervous on occasion . I don't know why I still do...but...I do...are you like this? If so here are some things to remember.
1. Nobody Really Cares
Seriously...do you think the girl working the counter REALLY gives a hoot about what items you are buying? She rings people up all day long...all she really cares about is ringing you up and getting back to her cell phone to check her friends facebook status. They are all having much more fun than she is.
2. The fear is all in your own mind
Your mind place funny tricks on you, and you feel guilty,ashamed and embarrassed because you think the store clerks KNOW your intention to take home your purchase and dance in front of the mirror. This isn't true....and if you really want to throw the scent off that it is for you, ask them if they have a gift box and look like you have a million other things you would rather be doing.
A great way to get over this fear is to walk around a women's clothing dept, and just get comfortable being there. Just get comfortable standing there alone . Look at the women around you...do any of them care? Do any of them know why you are there? The answer more than likely is no.
Mixing your items is a great way too...When you go shopping...kill 2 birds with one stone...pick a dept store with a men's & women's dept get something from both. Who's gunna judge you?
Certain times of year are also alot easier to buy your femme items
1. Christmas
This is an obvious one...but that means you have from Thanksgiving till Dec 24th to be a worry free shopaholic...it's not for you....it's a gift.
2. Valentines Day
This is the one time of year you should be completely comfortable buying women's lingerie . Alot of men buy sexy things for their wives or girlfriends...and so can you. Throw in the gift box comment too for good measure. Go nuts...hit every Victoria Secret in the area...
3. Halloween
Another obvious one...but a great time to buy things like wigs,makeup,costumes etc......also a great night for a first time out adventure!!!!
Just some tips to make your shopping experience a bit more easier. The more confidence and experience you gain from dressing will make shopping that much easier and alot more enjoyable
Yup, the only time I've shopped for girly stuff is before Christmas. That's why I love online shopping! No fear or getting embarrassed, just shop til you drop...off your chair...lol
I'm still a little uneasy, but hope I'll get comfortable with it like others. My fear isn't really about the store associates, since they likely don't care at all. But the possibility of running into people I know while shopping for female clothing or makeup really terrifies me, which is why I always shop far from home...
Were afraid someone will make an off handed comment. I was like that for quite some time. I would want to go look at femme clothes, but I feared trying to check it out at the store. It took multiple times to get over it. Once I did it felt great. When I go I take the time to find the perfect femme clothes that I like. I would try it on in the dressing room to see how I look in it. If I liked the way I looked in it I buy it. I also have no problems paying for the femme clothes at all when checking out. So I don't think of what other people say at all anymore.
Take it easy, Nikki
Those of us who do get scared, do so because we're doing something that is considered weird by our society at large, and we don't want anyone (not even strangers) to think we're weird. We want to be liked and feel respected.
Here's the solution: society's attitude really should p**s us off. Now shop boldly and angrily for that cute dress you want. Be defiant when you check out at Wal-Mart with those panties. Glare back at the shoppers who smirk or grimace when they see you holding up that nightie to your body!
Most of my shopping is at thrift stores. I was more than a bit nervous early on but now I could care less who sees me or what they might think.
I used to be scared to death, buying anything in person. Over the years I have developed little tricks to overcome my anxiety. For makeup and hosiery I have a shopping list, so I look like I am running an errand for my wife. For clothing I go to stores that are not in my immediate area.
Shoes, I still buy online.
I used to be very scared when I started buying my own clothes. I started buying my first item of female clothes when I was twenty one a pair of black tights from Wooloworths. I was convinced that she was giving me dirty looks. A few weeks later I stared to buy more and more tights in different shops, I bought a lot in Marks and Spencers. I went through the sweaty palms stage for a good few years. I used to be so uncomfortable I would hand over too much money to the assistants. After a year of tights shopping I used to shop a lot in the Womens deparment of the Co-operative store. It was Aladdins cave full of beautiful tights. As well as loving flesh coloured tights I also adored black and coloured tights. I use to buy about a dozen pairs. I think the girl assistants got to know me, I think they guessed they were for me. To make matters worse they were not very friendly. I would take the tights to the counter and say their are not for me. Invariably they would give me dirty looks. However, there was the odd assistant in stores in the city who could not have been nicer. I am sure those S.A.'s knew it was for me. AS the years go by I am now very relaxed. One day I will pluck up the courage to say the items are for me. It is a bit of goal of mine.
Afraid of what?
They're just clothes. The clothes don't bite.
Perceived "judgement" from the SA or others?
Makeup?? "Who you foolin Willis?" ........ it's for you
Trying on the clothes? Why make a trip home for an item that does not fit.
My 1st bra purchase came with the comment "at least you didn't go for the Dolly Parton look"
I replied "That look will be perfected for Halloween"
Her & I both laughed at this.
I used to be very scared n embarassed when shopping for fem things but now I don't give a hoot or holler. I used to get red faced and nervous when I went shopping but now I pretend I'm shopping for some one else. But lately I really don't care anymore what anyone thinks. There's women who buy men's clothing for themselves why can't we buy women's things for ourselves??? Hey if it fits then wear it!!!!!!!!!!!
Never been afraid to buy anything. As a kid I was the one in the neighborhood who would ask the man behind the counter for condoms. Went into a store and purchased booze at 16 never nerveous. I have no issue buying clothes underwear bras anything. Yet petrified of going out in public dressed???? Why the heck is that???
Was more excited than scared.
Oh dear lord! I do remember the fear when I went out and bought my first pair (well of my very own teehee) panties.
Over the years it got easier but there was still that fear. At least I finally stopped shaking whilst paying for my girl things lol.
Then one day at the local wally world while checking out the young lady picked up my pkg. of hanes her ways and said "These will look nice on you". I froze lol. instead of my standard "They're for my wife", I finally just blushed and said thank you. She winked, I paid and left. after that I stopped letting it bother me
Last edited by Barbie Anne; 02-10-2014 at 06:57 PM. Reason: typo
I use the list trick sometimes! I'll use it mostly when I want to pick up makeup or pantyhose at the supermarket. I'll just buy the girl stuff along with milk, bread, etc.Originally Posted by NikkiBeth
I don't mind shopping for clothing with the exception of shoes. Not many women are a UK size 9, so I think its fairly obvious that they are for me. As a result I do all my shoe shopping online with mixed results.
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