Moving Forward with a bit of a Confession

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Isha, I think that the important thing is to do your three years for your family and future.

[Julie Gaum]

Isha, I don't think that your "confession" now requires you to flee to China or Russia. However I do agree with other posts not to push the envelope further than you have with three years to go unless
your CO has another spot for you to complete your three years. BTW, i do get a small Canadian
"Old Age Pension" and was married to a Cree/Scott gal for 52 years.
And thanks for your comments on my "outing"
Julie

[Marcelle]

Hi everyone.

I am very happy with the support in this thread I thank all for responding. I am glad I did not upset the apple cart as I would miss you all. I want to thank everyone who replied.

For all who asked, my pension is fine as it is fine in the Canadian military to be TG/TS or in my case CD. I will finish my last three years out in my old occupation as a psychologist. So my pension is safe and sound.

Hi Isha, I'm Canadian too, but living in the US . . . But I have a quick question. Unless I missed something, what are you coming out as, a CDer or a TS? . . . And if you are not a woman, do you want to live full-time as one and if not, then why is it necessary to come out at work?

Hi Reine. Coming out as a CDer but to a select few (CO, a few work colleagues and supervisor). There have been a few noticeable differences in my appearance (body hair, eyebrows, weight loss) and I needed to head off any questions which may come up. For the most part as a psychologist, it is a non-issue but when I work with clients, there may be some reticence from them should they feel uncomfortable. As such, if questions come up, someone needs to be able to answer them.

Where you are from makes no difference. . . . try telling us you aren't a Tim Horton's fan. Then we drum you out of here.

Oops . . . confession three. Diehard Starbucks fan ever since my first cup I have been chasing the dragon

The giveaway was your signature saying "My other car is a zamboni!"

Funny thing, had a part-time job as a Zamboni driver when I was a in high school . . . go figure eh?

No harm, no foul here. Just send me some Cuban cigars and all will be forgiven

Ah . . . Cuban cigars I do love them dearly.

So, your a C eh N eh D eh I eh N, you are not alone. I have now and had members in the Canadian military in my family, and yes they are a close knit community. Please don't do anything to hurt your getting your full pension . . . So get that flag flying in the lower corner of your page, we Canadians need to show our pride in Canada... the greatest country in the world. And we should know, because we live here!

Pension not an issue as TG is not an issue in the military. Working on the flag

So you're a Canadian too. Good for you. I'm surprised no one so far has asked if you know "so and so", whose also a Canadian.

Yeah, I used to get that a lot when I was deployed internationally. I usually answered "Not really but I do know the name"

For those with military experience and understand what Isha means by "special", I think she is between a rock and a hard place.

There is way too much "T", maleness, aggression in these "special" units and I think the question is whether to stay in the unit or move on to a less "exciting" job. I would not even consider coming out to these guys.

I hear you Miki. It is likely it will get known at some point and I guess to most they will consider me dead (figuratively not literally). But I need to move on with my life and if they cannot accept then I guess it is their loss.

I don't have a problem with your nationality. I am very nervous about you coming out. I retired from the military and still have a government job. I have no ideal what the reaction would be if my peers knew.

For the most part, those who know are supportive and somewhat curious. I get a lot of "never would have guessed in a million years". However, I still work "en male" and continue to explore Isha on my own time.

Isha, I don't think that your "confession" now requires you to flee to China or Russia. However I do agree with other posts not to push the envelope further than you have with three years to go unless
your CO has another spot for you to complete your three years.

Hi Julie. It is not an issue in Canada as discrimination against a TG gal in the military is illegal. I do have a new position in my old occupation as a psychologist so my last three years will go off without a hitch.

Hugs all

Isha

[Tara Power]

I never sensed any deception hun so its all good with me. I got speaking to loads of Canadians during the summer who were all absolutely great craic at the World Fire and Police games, watching my first games of softball ever. Never been one for baseball but its great watching it in person with a few beers and being more sober than the players lol Apparently our roads are too narrow, not straight enough and our cars are too small, and the steering is on the wrong side and stick shift is alien, especially on the wrong side. I corrected these foolish fools by agreeing to disagree because I do not wanna mess with the Toronto Police. But I digress, dont be going anywhere, because you joined here about the same time as me I think and love hearing your stories (good and bad, but thats part of the human experience) and seeing you grow over the last few weeks, its great. You're a million times more out and about than me, but i'm getting there too.

Good luck Isha and keep up the good work x

[Shayna]

Funny thing, had a part-time job as a Zamboni driver when I was a in high school . . . go figure eh?

Had you added the "eh" in your previous posts it would have given you away

[Dalva]

No worries about us other Cannucks being upset...Heck, if you're ever my way, I'll buy ya a Timmies..double double.

[Rhonda Darling]

Well, "Isha", if that is your real name . . . . . . . Wait a minute. You were lying about that, too, weren't you? My God, woman, how on earth can we ever trust you now? Oh the deceit, the misdirection, the fantasy world construct that you've built up around yourself. I'm truly shocked that you've not been 100% truthful in all things when on-line. This is a first in the history of the universe. Thankfully for the rest of us, you are the only one who has EVER had the temerity to be less than completely honest with the rest of us.

On behalf of all the sisters here, I must give you a resounding "TSK TSK". There, let that be a lesson to you. Now, having been suitably punished, we welcome you back into the fold, knowing that you will never again even think of lying to us.

(Also, thank you for your service. All the military need a few more good men who are also good women!)

Playfully,
Rhonda Darling (really, could anyone make up a name like that?)

[kimdl93]

You hardly need apologize. It's perfectly reasonable to want to protect your identity. Whether a particular factoid is precisely right is less important than being true to yourself about who you are. You've shared a lot about your inner truth.

[Bree Wagner]

It is not an issue in Canada as discrimination against a TG gal in the military is illegal.

For that, you will find a lot of envy even if the culture can still make it difficult. We've got a long way to go in the states but the winds are at least blowing in the right direction.

Good luck to you in whatever direction you go and thanks for serving your country and our many common causes.

-Bree

[Marleena]

Tamara is watching! She already knew.

As for coming out, unless you're TS and suffering from dysphoria or going full-time CD I don't see any reason to disclose to them and thanks for your service.

[vallerie lacy]

Isha
You don't owe anyone an explanation. Except perhaps why you would belong on a forum with us girls. I know that you were on a secret mission to the U.S. from the Canadian Gov't. to find out why a Canadian hockey team hasn't won the Stanley Cup in so long.

[Marcelle]

Isha
You don't owe anyone an explanation. Except perhaps why you would belong on a forum with us girls. I know that you were on a secret mission to the U.S. from the Canadian Gov't. to find out why a Canadian hockey team hasn't won the Stanley Cup in so long.

Drats . . . my secret mission has been foiled . . . this post will self destruct in two seconds give or take an hour or two.

Hugs

Isha

[Leigh Wyndham]

Fly Specks Dear One.. Fly Specks,

The art of self disclosure is just that.... It is an art. Art is subjective in the eye of the viewer. Interpretation of art is subjective and mutable. You are still loved by all. NOW,, about that little desire to change species,, DON'T YOU DARE !

[Kate Simmons]

No big deal to me Hon. They can't use the knowledge to compromise you unless they can use it against you, which since your CO and some comrades know, make it a moot issue.That would be my only concern for you and yours. Just happy you are here to share with us my friend.

[Beverley Sims]

Isha,
We all keep some of our skeletons in the cupboard, even on these forums.

[AbigailAlexis]

No ill will here. I understand the need for some anonymity.

I have things that I have held back and intend to hold back for a bit yet, too. Not because they are earth shattering, disappointing, or shocking, but because this whole CD-ing thing is relatively new to me in recent history and definitely the desire to eventually go out en femme is very new. This is a process, and as I become more comfortable, (much as you did Isha ) I'll share. You girls will just have to wait, for now I get to have what every girl wants... a little "feminine mystique"

[chatbuddy1987]

Hey Isha!

I know what it feels like. I still lie about my birthdate and location. Many people think it is not being courageous. May be they are right. But I am not yet "ready", you know. I think people should give time and space to anyone who going through any kind of identity crisis. Some come out early, some too late. It's important to be supportive, than to be critical. *Hugs*

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Canadian military...Consider yourself lucky that you are not facing a furlough due to our congress not being able to compromise on a budget! Isha, you will regret confessing that you are a psychologist. Someone just might nominate you to be the psycho-gatekeeper for this cd zoo! You are a blessing to the cause.

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

Thanks very much for your comments and understanding. I know on the grander scale of things it is not a huge issue but I have spent so much of my life lying about this part of me (CD not the Canadian part ) that I just wanted to start fresh and with a clean sheet.

Hugs all

Isha

[reb.femme]

Lucky you weren't in the British military. It's so small now, they've thrown away rank and everyone is on first name terms .

Met a lot of good Canadian forces during my trips to Goose Bay and some trips around BC. Keep things low key until you finish your term, then you can fly your flag high on the mast.

Rebecca

[Natalee]

Hi Isha,

I highly doubt anybody is disappointed about your attempt to keep your identity private. I don't care if you're actually from Australia, or Venus.. We're glad to have you here!

As far as my personal-life, my small immediate family (wife) is in the know. Beyond that, especially concerning work; I prefer to remain anonymous. So in that regard, if anybody is trying to figure out my location; I'm from Antarctica. Once I near retirement age, and my family's life no longer depends on my income to support our source of food and shelter; I won't care nearly as much.

But then again, I guess, if I was out in cold-turkey fashion. Life would go on, just with a slightly altered set of non-accepting friends, and co-workers missing from daily life.