Feeling "Feminine"

[Mistress Roxy]

Femininity is an ilussion. A way of dressing, making up, sitting down, walking, talkin’ about..etc.. For decades, that concept was immediately associated with “beauty” (because it is really beautiful, this is my personal point of view) And this sort of beauty is only for females. When we, women, think about how to look sexy for our boyfriends or husbands, there is not a large difference between our ways and those of a crossdresser in front of her mirror .

Some years ago, there was a deep gap between masculine and femenine behaviour. Most of us were grown up in that world…or at least, we have seen it in films. This is inside our consciousness. That gap today is too much narrower (sadly for me) but we still identify femininity with the ilussion of who walks in heels with the lipstick in her purse.

I play in the GG’s team who still likes that old classical femininity. So I understand perfectly the man’s sensual sensation during dressing and how he wants to reach that ideal of femininity.

[MatildaJ.]

Personally, I'd be happier if people didn't talk about feeling "feminine" but tried to be more specific. I think we can all agree that feeling "cute" is different from feeling "sexy"; likewise "nurturing" is different from "cuddly." If someone wants to feel elegant, that's very different from wanting to feel playful and creative. I totally appreciate a guy wanting to feel glamorous, and getting a cocktail dress that makes him feel glamorous -- I just don't think that "feminine" is a word that helps convey much meaning.

[Sissy_Michelle]

What is feeling feminine too you?

Very good question. Unless you're doing something chemically to alter how you think I don't believe you'll really know. Unless you spend a lot of time with women, have studied how GGs reacts during certain moods or situations. You will only feel as you would feel in the same situations or moods.

I know not a good answer but, this question I will have to think about for a bit.

[melanie206]

As someone said, I think "feeling feminine" is subjective and also unique to the person with the feelings.

[Tina_gm]

Personally, I'd be happier if people didn't talk about feeling "feminine" but tried to be more specific. I think we can all agree that feeling "cute" is different from feeling "sexy"; likewise "nurturing" is different from "cuddly." If someone wants to feel elegant, that's very different from wanting to feel playful and creative. I totally appreciate a guy wanting to feel glamorous, and getting a cocktail dress that makes him feel glamorous -- I just don't think that "feminine" is a word that helps convey much meaning.

Probably because it is so subjective. What makes me feel more feminine or triggers it may not do so for other CD's, and vice versa. ( in reality I am certain there are quite a few similarities, but to make a point there is truth though)

RenieD makes great observations about how when she does any particular task that is either typically female or not typically female oriented, it doesn't change her. I would think that is true of most Cisgender people. But of those who reside somewhere in the middle, what we do, or our environment and surroundings can bring on (at least for me) a "different" feeling. When I am doing typical "man" chores, I typically feel masculine. Strong, able, I enjoy certain tasks. I enjoy feeling powerful.

Doing less typical "man" chores, or say being around several women chatting away about typical things oriented to women, watching a chick flick.... I can relate to them in ways most men can't. I can empathize to the women's particular plight or situation in a movie. For instance.... one time my wife and I were watching a movie and some young girl was being chased by a psycho guy. She was wearing very tall heels. I think for the sake of comedy she struggled in them to get away. Looked very cute, funny and obviously in a feminine way. Now, my wife blurts out, "I'd be taking those heels off." I was thinking that to myself. How many guys are going to be thinking that? So in some ways it is a connection that we CD'ers can make that the typical guy could not.

Of course there are many tactile ways in which we feel feminine. Walking in heels, dresses or skirts. Those may not make a cisgendered person feel different, but a genderfluid person is likely to feel different depending on the clothes they wear. Of course, there is the motivation to put them on in the 1st place. And that often is knowing the comfort or enjoyment of wearing something that has a distinct feel to it that is different then that of their birth gender clothes .

[Jackie7]

My wife has a lot of attention on her wardrobe, her linen closet, and her kitchen. To her these are womanly activities, female nesting and nurturing behavior. I do most of the cleaning -- my version of nesting -- and have a lot of attention on my pretty girl clothes, with rather less for my drab garb. My wife finds this annoying and encourages me to dress better as a man, and take better care of my guy clothes.

Many CDs share with most women the very human behavior of checking one's own appearance in every mirror, and of taking pleasure in one's female presentation. Is this feminine?

[suchacutie]

Fascinating thread. It's clear that there is no one answer but, like everything with crossdressing, there is a spectrum of answers. After some thought, I think I can safely say that my feelings of being feminine are an extrapolation of Tina's activities and feelings being those she perceives of the women around her. That clearly includes all the trappings of the illusion of femininity we generate, and those feelings are strong. Walking in 4" heels with a skirt swishing as we walk with stockings and breastforms moving appropriately most certainly changes mind and body.

But textures and deportment are only the beginning. There's voice and language to consider. Then there are the ways women interact with each other, what they say, how they say it, and understanding what might be important to the women around us that the men around us couldn't care less about. My wife has worked hard with Tina about these things, giggling at how inept Tina could be about these last topics. It's so complicated, but the mixture of these very emotional ideas are what we perceive as femininity in ourselves and those around us. It may only be our imaginations, but they are strong imaginations.

[Wanna be Heather]

You know what, since I started dressing I became more aware of female views, I understand my wife better and became closer than ever. What helped is her support of me dressing. She understands my needs to feel feminine without fear of losing the man she married. We talk a lot about styles, matching clothes, etc... In a nutshell by expressing the feminine side made better husband.

[deebra]

Mavbe i'm different than the rest, putting on a bra, forms, panties and heels transforms me from male to feminine, the more I put on the more feminine I feel.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Well I have no idea what 'feminine' feels like, I dont feel feminine, masculine or anything - I just feel like me - I dont sit and ponder whether what I am wearing is feminine, I just pick out clothes for the day which suit the activities of the day.

I dont own more than 1 dress, I have no skirts, I have lots of trousers and jeans, T-shirts, causal clothes - I've never, ever, been mistaken for a guy and even if I was, I dont think I'd give a damn !

[hallie]

What is feeling feminine too you?

Well I know there are certain things I do as a guy that I wouldn't as a girl and visa versa. Certain words, phrases, mannerisms that I control when I'm in boy mode.

So feeling fem to me is when Ilet go of all that and just start having fun, being happy, fun, talk about things, put on cute clothes, shopping.....there are so many things that makes me feel fem. Even when I'm not dressed up.

It kind of just comes with what I like, what I surround myself with (and what kind of panties I put on that day).

Like Candice said its more about being yourself and having fun. Dont try and "act fem" its an act and you look silly haha. Not all girls are super girly and fem themselves....just be who you feel inside and let it come naturally instead of forcing it. There are obviously more feminine traits that you can work on (like being more chatty and less "conclusive" about conversations) that will help you feel more fem without having to "act" fem. Thats up to you tho!!

[MissJoanne]

Mavbe i'm different than the rest, putting on a bra, forms, panties and heels transforms me from male to feminine, the more I put on the more feminine I feel.

That's how I am. Femininity begins with the underthings and prostheses. It goes on from there.

[Rachel Morley]

What is feeling feminine too you?

IMHO when a woman is "being feminine" it can displayed in many ways, yes it could be that she looks pretty but it could also be as a quiet strength, she is self confident, or nurturing, or caring, loving, tender, etc but this alone doesn't define femininity as a woman can also be tough and stand on her own two feet, take care of herself and her own, if she needs to and that doesn't detract from her femininity. To me, femininity is showing all these things but displaying them in a way that is different to how a man might show them. That is the essence to femininity.

To answer the question in the above quote, to me, "feeling feminine" comes from inside and so IMHO, in theory, anyone can be it or feel it. If I try to think of a time when I really felt feminine, then it happened twice. One time was when I was having dinner with my wife and her friend and as we went to leave the restaurant the waiter took my coat and held it open for me to put my arms in, me! not my wife or her friend, but me! I felt all soft and squigy inside and I felt like I was being treated like a real lady ... by a gentleman.

The other time was when my wife and I were at a bridal store trying on lots and lots of dresses for a wedding (we were both going to be bridesmaids). I was surrounded by what I thought was the lioness den, full of everything that is so not what men do. I was also being fussed over by two young GGs who were helping me into and out of the gowns. I could have swooned I was so happy. I felt so girly (feminine?).

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Candice, I guess that looking feminine will have to do.

[sometimes_miss]

While I cannot tell you exactly what it feels like to 'feel femininie', I can tell you what disappeared when I was alone and dressed as a girl.
Whenever I'm with my guy friends, there's always a degree of competitiveness there as to who's the most masculine guy, and it never goes away. There's a pecking order; who's the toughest, who's the most financially successful, who's having sex with the most women, who's got the biggest dick, etc.. And it's like a storm cloud that hangs over us whenever we are together. Also, it's a life that we feel we must minimize any connection with what are traditionally woman's concerns, lest we get labeled as weak, 'whipped', submissive, faggy, etc..
When I was alone, dressed as a girl, all that went away. What I focused on was how I felt, what I wore, things that made me feel that I was attractive (whether I was or not), it was how I felt in response to the tactile and visual feedback I was getting from being dressed and made up as a girl. In contrast to how I felt forced into feeling when 'acting the part of a guy', as a girl I could focus on how I really felt, about love, the relationships I wanted to have, the need for affection, the desire for the people I cared for to be happy even if it meant that it wasn't going to be me that they would be having that happy life with. And one other huge thing; as I spent a lot of time at home, alone, dressed and feeling the escape from the 'responsibilities and duties of a man', when watching a movie, or reading a book with a particularly emotionally sad scene in it, I could let the tears flow freely, something I've never been able to do as a guy. That was something that I've always felt that I had to do, shut off the emotions. Because as much as women SAY that it's o.k. for a man to cry, it's still not something they want to see.
I understand that it's something deeply ingrained, that evolution has instilled certain behaviors and feelings into us that has enabled our dna combinations to succeed where others have failed.
But turning off the emotions takes a toll on me, and I believe THAT is one huge difference between how it is to feel masculine or feminine; a woman is more free to display her emotions. A man is not.

[rita63]

I like what Dani says

" Of course I don't really know what it is to feel feminine, but I know that I feel really different when I'm dressed. Maybe this is the best we can expect"

Since I became more serious about my dressing its become a journey of exploration, of exploring those feelings that are really different and going where they take me. After 64 years I find the differences between men and women exist more for the convenience of marketers trying to sell you something than in the reality of peoples lives.

I'm just going out and trying to find the side of myself that loves feminine things and be happy with who I am.

hugs rita