How many out there experience "the everybody is staring at me" feeling? How long did or does it last before you overcome it and feel your just another in the crowed. In my case at the casino after 30 min. no staring just blended. Got down to business and had fun, conversation, played slots etc. no problems.
It took me a couple of trips out with my girlfriends but you soon forget your surroundings if you are involved, interacting and having fun.
By the third outing I was ready to rock with the best of them.
Talk about confidence.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Unless you're extremely hot and dressed like you know it or are extremely "ugly" , most people will not even notice. I'm closer to the latter camp and never really have felt self concious.
I have only been out a few times (solo) so I am kind of on my own with no interaction to take the edge off. So I normally can't help feeling as though people are staring at me. I think at a distance I blend well but if someone gives me a second look then it is obvious. I try to ignore the paranoid feeling but I can't help but feel like a deer on opening season.
Hopefully it will dissipate with time.
Hugs
Isha
The only way to successfully go out in public is to go with tons of confidence. Looking around to see if you are being made is a sure sign of a lack of confidence. Don't look, don't tell, go boldly where no man has gone before!
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
It takes a couple times to gain confidence and to not have a deer caught in the headlights look which I think is what draws most of the attention. You need to decide that you belong and anyone questioning that is in the wrong. It is a matter of realizing that all of what you feared is way blown out of proportion from the reality.
Chickie
Of course I think all of us feel that when we first go out. We even feel it when we have gotten used to going out, just not as severely or often. I know I pass reasonably from a distance, but I also know I'm made when up close. I have numerous non Cd friends who treat me completely like a girl and do not make an issue of it. I have had friendly chats about it with many of them, answering their questions from why to how should we refer to you. As long as respectful I enjoy answering. I occasionally get nervous when out in some places or if I see certain types of people (yes, stereotyping) but really other than an occasional double take or chuckle, I have no problems out in many different places, casinos, malls, movies, resturaunts, bars, straight or gay.
It got to the point where I just tended to ignore it and concentrated on having fun, I realized that they weren't staring at me because they clocked me as much as they were watching my moves while dancing.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Of course you're sure that everyone notices you. It's a relief when you realize it isn't true.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
No matter how often you go out theres always gonna be someone that stares.
Ill always smile to them just and just keep doing what I was,
Im sure most have done worse then me being out dressed and I leave it at that as heck no ones perfect in the world. Dont judge me by my looks and Ill do the same.
You just have to go for it girl and the fears will disappear quiclky and youll never look back.
Hugs
Renee
Even in male mode there's always that one person in line who's checking everyone out. My mother in law is the worst, if she sees something different about a person she will stare them down for hours. I feel sorry for the crossdresser who crosses her path. Why can't people just mind there own business.
Just because someone stares at you it doesn't mean they're thinking you crossdress. They could like your outfit, think you're cute (especially if you're passable) or look at you for other reasons.
I know this is difficult to keep in mind (I'm the first one getting nervous when going out and approaching people) but most people just aren't out there on a crusade to tell if others are crossdressers or not, and have other things to think about.
I went out the first time to a bar. My wife and 3 other friends came. One did not know until he was there that I am a CD. Much to my surprise he was totally ok with it. Kept telling me how hot I looked. It was a great night. I was hoping people would look at me, I spent most of the day getting ready!
I think that after a while I was disappointed because no one was noticing me!
When I first moved to Colorado, a friend said everyone here looked funny. He said when you get to a stop light, look a the other drivers and you will just have to burst out laughing. The bad part was when I stopped and looked over, everyone was looking at me and laughing.
Point is it is all in your mind. Some look and I like when I see the double take, but most people see what they want to see and if you are dressed as a woman, most will see a woman.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I think this is pretty much the way to go..............and go boldly, with no split infinitiveOriginally Posted by Lynn Marie
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Rebecca
Most of the time when I would dress up, it was to be an attention-grabbing sort of woman. Buxom, shapely, proud of every inch of it, and showing it all off. So naturally, I had that "everybody is staring at me" feeling. Some people would read me, some wouldn't. And it was always a huge thrill when they didn't. If I were to try dressing up again now at my age, I'd have to go for the blend-in approach. Might work. But it wouldn't have the same kick, which is the biggest reason why I haven't tried.
I go out all the time. But those first ventures out had me looking everywhere. Then it seemed to fade away. It doesn't bother me at all and I sometimes even look for someone staring so that I can smile and wave it them. Having said all that, it is funny how my antennae are always up and I do notice a few stares. Bad habits die slowly.
The feeling you describe has got to be incredibly common as we take our first steps outside our houses. I know I felt it, and sometimes still do, but as your experience and confidence grow the feeling quickly dissipates. Having fun is the ultimate cure to the feeling!
-Bree
I think Frank N Furter sums this up pretty well.
Don't get strung out by the way I look,
Don't judge a book by its cover.
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover
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