So...you have to be in girl mode on Helloween, right?It's sounds good! I think that you have missed the moment to discover to your wife your secret. In spite of that sounds like a good test for her acceptance.If you feel need think of sharing your CD....
hi heather, always nice to meet a fellow ny'er.
i'm wondering if she already knows...and think you blew a golden opportunity
when she said "if you like to crossdress you should of told me before we got married"
since you didn't tell her, you still have an opportunity here...maybe you should say something like, you are really enjoying
your halloween outfit, and might want to dress again other than on halloween and see how she handles that...
i wish you the best and good luck
paula
Hi Heather,
Everyone knows my take on to tell or not to tell, so I won't beleaguer the point.
In your case, you are caught sweetie and you do need to come clean at this point. I would not wait much longer to have the talk. Review the threads and find the best way forward. I can't promise you it will go well but you do need to accept that she most likely knows or at least suspects.
However, please don't think you are a bad person for hiding it in the first place, you did what you needed to do. Now it is time to move forward.
Hugs and good luck
Isha
You missed a prime opportunity there. I was very worried about getting caught, but when we were playing around one day, my wife told me to try her underwear on. Whether she had rumbled me already and was giving me an opportunity I don't know. I snatched the chance while it was there though and also confessed I had received oral from another cd too. I was amazed at her reaction. She found it amusing.
"It is a tangled web weave when we practice to deceive." She is the one person in your life you have to be honest with.
You should tell her. That's a great opportunity. My wife always tells me that she can deal with just about any quirk I have, except lying. Getting into a situation where she doesn't trust what you say is the worst one to get into. I bet she'll be fine with it.
How long have you been married? Or how long have you been keeping this a secret? Don't forget to say "I'm sorry" when you have your talk. You were afraid to share this with her and that's why you didn't tell her sooner. Good luck.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Its time to letthe cat outta the bag.
Dont let her initate the conversation. its gonna be best if you start it and come clean
Good luck
Renee
My opinion on lying about this or not telling and sneaking it is that it is the wrong thing to do. That is not a personal attack, but merely my opinion. I was one who did not tell, and that is what causes my wife pain, anger, feelings of betrayal. My advice would always be to tell before you get caught. You were caught, and then you lied to get your way out of it. She probably already knows or suspects something, regardless of what you have told her. However, wives and GF's will likely hang on to whatever you tell them too. They may suspect some Cding, but will also be willing to believe a lot of what you tell them. They will go with it and live in a type of denial just as many of us CD's have or do as well.
So, My ADVICE... is that you sit down and tell her that for you it is more than just a Halloween costume. It is likely to go rough for a while. And as she has already told you, that not telling her about it is what would or is bothering her the most. That is all but unanimous when it comes to GG's on the subject of CDing. From the sounds of things of what she said so far, and her not completely freaking out about this, she will likely accept CDing to a point. Remember though that accepting and liking are two different things. And that in the beginning it may be quite rough.
I would say that after Halloween would be a great time to have the talk. Probably not during it while you are dressed, but very shortly after. Good luck with all of this.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
That sounds like the reply I got. She is waiting for you to tell her. If you wait too long then she might get upset that your trying to hide something from her. Mine said I wish you would have told me instead of lying about it. It wasn't the act of dressing but the lying she didn't like.
You do not tell a lye to cover up an on the lye.
Tell her the truth, you like wearing womans clothes.
You just might get a surprise; if not, well the truth never hurt anyone.
Rader
You need to tell her about your dressing and be prepared to answer any questions she might have and she will need some time to process the new information. My wife took a couple of weeks to proces it and accept my dressing. Remember you have dealt with your dressing most your life so take it slow and I hope it all goes well
Ask her if she would like to dress you. I know things could go the wrong way, but from her reaction so far, I think I would work towards coming out.
You'll never have another opening like this. She already knows. Get it out there and you will feel much better, and while she she may feel you deceived her during the marriage, she will feel better about you being open now.
Hi Heather, There will never be a better time than right now.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Hi Heather, as everyone else has said now is the time to spill the beans. I remember when I was caught out by my wife. It was so embarrassing but I just let it all out. I think the sooner the better, perhaps this is easier said than done but you have been busted red handed. The longer you leave it the worse it will be in my opinion. Good Luck I hope it goes well for the both of you.
Just tell her!!
It will be okay.
you will feel better, and so will she.
Truth is always best.
“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. ”
― Maureen Dowd
Tell her!!!!! It's no fun hiding things from the ones you love. Sounds like she would be ok with it.
Tell her as soon as possible! The longer you lie the more uncomfortable it will be. The conversation will be hard enough. My wife took it well at first. After a couple months now she is having a harder time with it. BEST advice I have is be honest and take it slow
For me, actually getting up the nerve to tell her was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but the actual conversation that followed wasn't just easy, it was surreal! We weren't actually dating, at the time, but it was going to happen and it was Important to get it right, which meant I had to be honest. I felt there was a fair chance she would accept, and I was almost certain she wasn't going to freak and out me. She just said "Oh Cool!" and after several seconds, I picked up my jaw from the floor, and we carried on our conversation, but now, it included underwear choices...Originally Posted by Heather_Shirly
Mine was a very different situation to most, my GF is a very unique individual, but one similarity to the conversation that you will have, is that taking that first step..it's a doozy!
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
Heather I agree with everyone on the fess up approach, you have been caught red handed. She knows, and sees through the lies. Wives and S.O.'s are like that. When we love people we can see through the B.S. . I think if you sit her down and come clean, take it slow, let her ask all the questions, and answer her questions honestly and openly it MAY BE o.k. . Then again it could turn out to be a disaster, but at least you would be clean on the conscience side of things.
One day your life is going to pass before your eye's, Make sure it is worth watching.
Eddie Izzard said it best "I am an action tranvestite".
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bethanyannstratford/
My wife found out when she found the bag of girl clothes I was about to throw in trash. She confronted me wanting to know how long I had been having an affair and who the woman was. Initially I was scared to death she would find out I was a CDer so I almost admitted to having an affair rather than tell her the truth. I stammered for a bit but, seeing the pain in her eyes, decided to tell the truth.
In your case you were caught so you might as well tell the truth. As others have written covering the truth will just lead to additional pain. Not only are you a CDer but a lying one. Once you breach someone's trust it's very difficult to regain it.
How upset was she when she confronted you? When you told her it was a costume, was she significantly relieved or just academically enlightened? This can give you an idea of how opposed she will be. Your crossdressing will never be the same, I think. She will probably resist it. Most guys who get caught after being married lose a lot of their wife's trust. I cannot explain it since I am not a girl, but TRUST is something big to a woman in a situation like this. "What else are you hiding?" is the question I assume she is wondering. Perhaps I don't understand the meaning of "trust" to a woman. If she seems accepting, tread lightly. Some guys have posted how their dam broke and they opened up too much to their wife. After I told my fiance, in the days following, I told her too much and made her uncomfortable. ...and I don't do many "unusual" things. You have gotten to this point over the course of many years, she needs some time to catch up. I think you should tell her. But you could really blow it if you do it imprudently.
You know what they say, "The best time to tell your wife you crossdress is 25 years ago. The next best time is when she is drunk."
(But I don't condone drinking.)
Dear Heather,
As a wife, my opinion is you have received some really good advice here, right down to short scripts of words to get a serious conversation started. I gently suggest that if you had not wanted to have this conversation, and were not in your heart of hearts prepared for consequences, you would have retained the presence of mind not to walk in front of the nanny cam. As others have warned you--beware what is referred to here as the perception-distorting "pink fog" that could cause you to misread your wife and, now that the genie is out of the bottle, move too fast.
Best wishes,
Scarlet
Ok, so what's happened since you accidentally outed yourself? Anything?
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
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