So as much as I am slowly growing to accept my crossdressing there is one major hang up for me. That is that there doesn't seem to be many people in succesful marriages. I mean I know I see some of the older ladies here with them. But I do not seem to find many younger girls with them. I definetly want a wife and kids but Im scared that won't be a possibility if I continue crossdressing.
You'll be fine as long as you tell you're partner right before things get serious!
I don't know you're age but the world for us CD'ers is changing rapidly every day. The younger generations are much more accepting.
Even on University application forms they are starting to say check the box Male, Female, Transgender. Just don't hide a thing when the relationship starts to progress.
Funny.... I don't see the younger generation is more accepting.... maybe even less so..... and you should be scared.... living alone the rest of you life would scare me too!
I can understand your worries. However, if you follow what has become the standard advice here, let your SO know early in your relationship that you CD. You may lose a few girlfriends, but you will find one that will go the distance. I'm old and have been married 38 years, but my wife knows. She doesn't want to meet Lisa, but she is helpful and gives me space when I need it. It may take time, but you will find someone. Good luck!
I think you are very wrong about your assumption. Happy marriages and cross dressing is a very real reality.
Agreed. My wife and I have our ups and downs the same as any other marriage, most of which are not related to crossdressing. We've got two young kids and are doing very well.Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
I also agree with the other advice to tell a potential wife before marriage. I did and it worked for me. Based on all I've read here, and talked about with others who have lived through it, it has the potential to save a lot of heartbreak later.
-Bree
I understand that it is possible but I feel like there is a lot of tension created by it. I feel like it either creates a problem for our wives or creates stress and makes the cder hide
and mutually exclusive in my opinion. You have to work on a successful marriage on many levels. When two people do this (and it takes two people to do it, one alone cannot make the marriage successful) they don't worry about such trivialities as what clothes you wear. But as mentioned above, you need to be upfront from the start. Keeping secrets is not a way to have a successful OR a good marriage.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
If you look at the divorce rate for all marriages today they aren't great either. CDing can add a problem to marriage, but so can gambling, golfing or anything else.
I think women tend to look for stable income providers with a life mate, with a low risk financial hardship (as well as looks, role model behaviour etc)
CDing could create employment issues as well as role model issues as can depression, alcohol, narcissistic tendancies and a raft of other issues and is probably a similar turn off for women.
By the same token, there are brave women out there who can see it for what it is, or like caring sensitive men, or have been through worse issues with previous spouses.
I would advise letting any woman get to know the man you are first and just as it starts getting serious, show her your hobby.
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
The hang up I see is younger people seem to be unable to resolve their differences.
All resolutions have to be made now! There is a way of making a success, work through it and talk about it.
Life is short and you are a long time dead.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I've been in this boat for decades...but if there is one thing that has improved it is the younger generation... You have a week, do this Halloween in drag! Get a girlfriend to help, do a really cool costume enfem and don't explain why...just do it for fun...then at the parties just go and hang out with all the single woman...trust me, they think its cool and just focus on making open minded friends. This way, people see you, they know you enjoy CDing and it goes from there. Learn to accept yourself, you are normal and just because you like to CD you can still have a wife and kids...like most other people who CD do...also most other CDer also have the usual guy hobbies too.
Chickie
While I havn't make the jump to coming out to my spouse yet, (working on that) I do have a number of happily married TG friends. While tougher, it is possible. They seem to have really strong and commited relationships also.
From personal experience sometimes, depending on where you are, younger girls may have a bit of an easier time with CDing. I'm not an older person and my SO is still in her 20s. So we're babies by some peoples reckoning. Together almost five years and very happy together.
Now don't be a bad girl Karren!
Back when I was dating, I made sure my dates knew BEFORE they spent the night at my place. The last thing I wanted was for them to find makeup in the bathroom, lingerie in the laundry room, wigs/dresses/blouses/shoes/etc in my bedroom and then think there was a full time woman in my life! Not one ran for the hills - and I eventually settled down with my current wonderful SO who knows everything about me (how can she not, she does the laundry! LOL)
Andrea
One body, two spirits
https://www.facebook.com/#!/profile....00001834525065
Feel free to send me a FaceBook friend request.
Everything is not what it seems
When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams
You might run into trouble if you go to extremes
Because everything is not what it seems
So what defines a sucessful marriage? That in itself will greatly vary from one person to another even without throwing dressing into the mix. You are worrying yourself for what reason? There are no guarantees in life let alone marriage. If you are going to think you will stop dressing to ensure a wife, children, and a SO CALLED successful marriage would it be a success if your dressing popped back into the picture after the fact, or you compromised yourself to fight off the urge to dress. Do you think there is a formula for happy and succesful in your unhappiness and possible resentments that WILL come with that. Will you act as though you are in a successful marriage and hide in the shadows with guilt and shame hoping the day will never come that your wife discovers your secret.
Compatibility, common goals, love, honesty, compromise, and so on! These things are part of the work in progress that is a marriage! So without freaking out or causing yourself undue angst. Be comfortable with youself, and be in control of you. When that special someone comes along they will accept and love you for who you are. After that, well! When you get to that point in life the hypothetical doesn't matter much now does it?
Julia,
I hope you will heed the advice about being up front with any partner that you are serious about. I, like so many "older ladies" told my 2nd wife about Vallerie prior to our marriage. I was very lucky. She accepted Vallerie and I. Notice I said my 2nd wife? My first wife didn't know until finding some lingerie. Need I say more? By the way, you will continue to CD whether you think you will or not. The desire to dress may be held off for awhile but the Pink Fog is always with you. Good Luck
After searching my lingerie drawers, I have come to the conclusion that they lied. Ruffles don't have ridges. At least mine don't.
Remember all of the older girls here, that are in successful marriages where young once also, I was in my twenties when I told my wife, and if you think it's hard to find a women now, you should have been there 40 + years ago. Back then you had to tell a person what a Cross dress was before they could understand what you where talking about.
They say 50% of marriages in America wind up in Divorce, now we know no one thinks there is that many men cross dressing, so most of those have to be for other reasons. If even anywhere near half of us are in relationships that are working, then we are doing as good as the general population, if one forth of us are, then maybe it's twice as hard, but still very doable.
Besides, they say it's better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
I've said this before. What you need to do is determine what is more important to you and proceed from there. Sometimes we just can't have our "cake" and eat it too Hon.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Hi Julia, Anything is possible we are three months short of our 50th anniversary
and my wife has known about my CDing the whole time now it's a DA-DT
I know my boundaries and life is great.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Ahhhh, it'll be 39 years this month (I think) and we're still happy. Like Lisa Smith said, she hasn't seen me, doesn't want to know me, but does my lingerie washing and gives me some space. Quite amazing considering I didn't tell her til about 14 years ago. Lucky I'm still alive.
Sherrie Lynn Pall
Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.
Please don't let me be the last post on this thread
Me? Lol.... The thought of dying alone in a soiled torn pretty pink dress......
Karren, A soiled pretty pink dress, and hockey skates on? I am 59, never married, from an extremely toxic familoy, and parents. I always wanted a girlfriend, and to marry, and came close once, in 1987, but i was too low income to support the lady and her daughters, and could not afford adequate housing. I was not Cding at that time. Almost every single woman around me age, that i have talked about it with, are very turned off by it, and consider it perversion. Only one, was neutral, it seemed. One lesbian, said she liked it. An 85 year old late night radio advice line host, Roy Masters, sees marriage today, as a trap, and discourages it, because of the extremely stressful, and litigation madness. Sadly, too many marriages end up in court battles. May be better to stay single these days, and just have friends. I only get lonely, when i go to restaurants, or church, or special occasions, alone. My cats keep me wonderful company, though, at home. Without CDing, marriage is challenging. With CDing, more challenging, unless the SO really digs it.
They don't need too know............everything. Problem you'll have is, finding the time to actually do it.
Posting Permissions
