Suzy is staying in her closet

[suzy1]

Last Sunday I was at a race circuit [Brands Hatch] and it was the lunch brake for us marshals, six of us.
So for some reason men that wear dresses came up in the conversation.
After about five minutes of jokes about the ‘weirdoes that dress like a woman’ the conversation moved on.

Will I come out of the closet anytime soon?..................I think not!

[kimdl93]

or don't come out among race marshals. There may be more accepting venues.

[Cynthia Anne]

Come on out Suzy! There ought to be a law that says it's illegal to hide all that BEAUTY from the rest of us! Shame on you!!!!!!

[Beverley Sims]

Suzy,
I know all well where you are coming form and it is the best way you can enjoy both worlds.
I am also aware of what is outside the closet.
I will send Basil Fawlty in to check the closet for white ants though.

[suzy1]

or don't come out among race marshals. There may be more accepting venues.

The point I was making was the world can be nasty place for girls like us.
And what happened on Sunday just reminded me and reinforced my resolve to never come out.
I am not a coward its just a choice that I and many other CD girls choose for very good reasons, including people like that!

And thank you Cynthia

[Fran Moore]

Yep, I'm riding on the same bus you are Suzy. Two seperate worlds for me, and I enjoy them both. No reason to upset the apple cart at this point.

[tiffanyjo89]

Like I posted in another thread, many people's experiences with CDers isn't a very positive one. I realize that a lot of us are not in positions to come out to others, mainly because it would lead to a battle they can't or don't need to fight, but if a lot of people knew that most crossdressers aren't perverted "weirdos in women's clothing" but rather the guy next door, or the guy in the next cubicle, or the guy sitting on their right or left while they are making the jab at the "weirdos" they'd think twice about the ribbing. While it is sometimes seen as a sign of bonding, particularly in male circles, to give someone a hard time about something like "Oh man, I'd never be caught dead doing something girly like watching a musical. By the way, Jimmy, how was Grease last night?" it actually can discourage people from being true to themselves, mainly because that teasing can be perceived as a mild form of bullying.

That being said, I know what it's like to be in a crowd of people who, if they knew about your CDing, would run you out of town thinking you were perverted. In many circles, if they found out about someone CDing, they'd be like that scene in Family Guy, where Stewie was posing as a girl and in a beauty pageant and his wig falls off, a crowd of people in Texas exclaim "It's one of those queerosexuals, get 'im!" and proceed to chase them down wanting to beat all of the Griffin family up.

[Lynn Marie]

I love dressing at home. Always have and always will. I especially like being able to switch parts of an outfit to find the very best mix. Then settle down with a glass of wine and enjoy the erotic sensations of heels and hose and garters and...........

[Trishpdxcd2]

I am in the closet too but I think it is sad that much of the world views cd's as they do and I always applaud girls who venture out of the closet and make the world a little more acceptable for all of us. I was out openly in Las Vegas and walked around femme a few months ago and it was a totally different and wonderful feeling.

[hallie]

It seems to me that people just say things like that in group situations not to "look weird" themselves and be apart of the group. Dressing aside, it happens to all of us.

This would have been a good opportunity to try and see if they were just being socially accepted or actually are close minded by throwing a neutral (yet fun) curve ball. Like Poking fun : " Ya Dave, but you would look pretty in a dress" (during joke time) or "I hear some wives/GF's like to dress up their hubbies" or "did you hear that there are couples doing this stuff together now"?


just my 2cents

[Karren H]

Obviously they were referring to the ones who don't dress with your style and class!

[robindee36]

Suzy, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the closet. It gets a bit crowded in here, but some of us would not be able to do this with out its relative security. Would I like the freedom to dress openly, of course. Do I recognize this is not going to happen? Of course. Well, I do get out enfemme from time to time

However, this does not mean the enjoyment we get from dressing must be relegated to the closet's confines in totality. Rather, it means we must exercise some judgment understating the perception others may have of us. The world is not ready for 'in your face' crossdressers, though some queens still have a go at it.

Be happy and have fun with this thing we love. Get out when you can and enjoy your femininity as the occasions arise.

Hugs, Robin

[Lorileah]

quick thought. Narrow mindedness is contagious. What if they had said that about an ethnic group? Gays? Physically handicapped people? Or even more subtle, goths, preppies, motorcyclists? Seems they had an easy shot and since no one was going to stop them they took it. I wonder what they would do if they found out the champion of the circuit was...gay? Or a crossdresser? I would even suspect they would not accept a woman in that role because it threatens their masculinity.

Narrow minded people seek their own. Just the discussion had to make you feel uncomfortable. I would seriously consider not being their friend...but that is me.

[suzy1]

Narrow minded people seek their own. Just the discussion had to make you feel uncomfortable. I would seriously consider not being their friend...but that is me.

The point is most people do not understand us. They have preconceived ideas about us including my friends and my family. So do I stop being friends with them all then Lorileah?
Your views on this are simplistic.

I tell all my fellow marshals and then there will be no more involvement in motorsport for me and it’s a major part of my life! I am well known by most other marshals around the race circuits.

They are not narrow minded unless you count the vast majority of mankind as being narrow minded.

We must try to live in the real world.

[Frédérique]

After about five minutes of jokes about the ‘weirdoes that dress like a woman’ the conversation moved on.

At least a “presence” of males who dress like women has been established where you are. In my little corner of the world, a gaggle of males would never bring up that particular topic in conversation, since the MtF crossdresser is a rare bird indeed – out of sight, out of mind…

[Stephanie47]

I posted on an earlier thread that the problem of cross dressing does not lay with the cross dresser. It lays with the narrow minded bias people. Lorileah asks what about ethnic groups, gays,physically handicapped, etc. Well, the narrow minded people put down anyone who is not themselves. Yes, it may be a group thing. Some may just sit or join in. That may be part of the problem. I see it every day. I encounter people who have known me for a very long time and they must think, since I've known them that long, I have the same beliefs as them. Well, they end up putting both feet in their mouths.

In most people's minds cross dressing still does not compute.

There is more tolerance towards gays and lesbians and transsexuals.

I prefer to enjoy my cross dressing. I don't have a problem. People who don't accept what I may due have the problem. I remain in the closet because negative effects of cross dressing slop over to family, job, etc.

[stephNE]

I will agree, the problem lies with the narrow minded people, not with cross dressing. At my "advanced age", I don't seem to care as much about what others think about it. Going out is fun for me and that is all that counts. That said, for any one who only want to dress in private, we should all be fine and accepting with that too. We are all individuals, and everyone has the right to be themselves (short of illegal things or hurting others of course).

[Lorileah]

So do I stop being friends with them all then Lorileah?
Your views on this are simplistic.

So you condone this activity by not standing up. You didn't have to say "Hey! I am one!" but you could have said "Hey, you know different strokes. Now about the Ford Fiesta..." but no that would be simplistic. By allowing people to make jokes or derogatory remarks and not confronting them, you are basically condoning them. Simplistic? Yes. But then again, a better world starts with a simple idea.

And no I wouldn't not be "friends" with them but I would not make an effort to be with them either

[suzy1]

And no I wouldn't not be "friends" with them but I would not make an effort to be with them either

My own family and all my friends?
We will agree to disagree on this Lorileah but I respect your viewpoint.

[Bria]

Suzy, I'm sorry that you were hurt by the commentsof the other marshals who have a styerotypical veiw of us. I think that acceptannce is something that only comes slowly as people become knowable of other lifestyles. Not to many years ago gays and lesbians were just "queers" and now there is much more acceptance of these lifestyles.

I'm not suggesting that you should have told the other marshals that you are cd, but acceptance will come from a slow prosess of education of the general public. Do what you can when in drab to suggest that cd's are not all that different from other lifestyles, ie not preverts or some other weird thing.

Just by the way, I wish I could be a race participant at Brand Hatch, it is such a famous venue. I have only been to tracks in the US. My favorite way to enjoy them is as a driver, I've been at it for about 40 years. Bria

[melanie206]

These are many people these days that get angry at "others" just because they like the president or think waiting periods for gun owners might be a good idea. I wouldn't conduct my life according to the preferences of the ignorant and closed minded.

[ShriekCassandra]

I'm glad when a person or group I happen to be with are open about their attitudes towards lifestyles different form their own. It means I can decide whether I need to bother listening to them or not in the future.

[Lynn Marie]

So why can't it just be okay if other folks don't understand us? Must we label them as "narrow minded"? Maybe they are just afraid to admit that they might find CD's attractive and that might mean that they're sort of "gay"!

I can live with folks that may be afraid of me. I kind of like the ones who find me attractive and are not afraid to say so.

[reb.femme]

Hi Suzi,

I went Marshalling at Brands for the motorbikes years ago, 70s in fact. Southern 67 I believe was the club. One or two decent memories with my dad there.

On the subject of confronting everyone who makes a remark we don't like, sometimes I do make a stand, sometimes I don't. But I also stand by, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

Rebecca

[Kandy Barr]

Sad to say Suzy but it is for the most part an un accepting world out there, I do go out from time to time but am very careful about when and where I go..... nothing wrong with the closet GF. Just makes me thankful for this place and all the others here!!