OMG-Just outed myself at work

[Rachel Morley]

If he's not the office jerk, it seems strange that he would keep going by and smiling at you.

I have underdressed for many years and never had anything like this happen.
If someone says anything, remember what Bill Clinton taught us- just keep telling them it didn't happen.

I agree, it does seem a bit weird that he's smiling all the time unless he's a total a$$hole (which it sounds like he is) and I also think that this is a rare thing to have happen. I have been underdressing at work for 12 years and I have never had a single thing ever happen, not even the slightest weird look or a casual comment never mind an accidental uncovering. I also think that the "it never happened" stance is a good one. It's just your word against his if he takes it further. Stay confident and assertive and insist you don't know what he's talking about and if he is a bit of an a$$hole, people will know that and he'll make himself look like a fool or a liar ... or both.

[Terrylynn]

Some time ago I was wearing a cami, panties, and thigh high stockings with a wide lacy band at work. I was walking down the hallway and noticed that a couple of people kind of looked at me a bit strangely. After getting back to my office I realized my thigh highs had become ankle lows and we're rather obviously resting on my shoes! I was embarrassed but that never stopped me from frequent bouts of underdressing. Love it too much.

[Tracii G]

Here is what I would do : don't underdress at work again and if he spills the beans say I don't know what you are talking about.
If there are others around he has told and he is present say Hey look I'll take my pants off if you want proof dumbass.
If he has no proof he will look pretty stupid IMO and others will think he made it all up.
I would just laugh it off and act like he is completely nuts.

[CindySTJ]

I would just forget it and deny it. No big deal and as long as you don't make it an issue then he really can't. If you do confront him THEN he will know he saw what he thinks he saw and will get braver.

[Beverley Sims]

Stockings can be surgical stockings for controlling fluid in the leg.
It may be a half truth but who needs to know.
You do not need smart asses to out you like that.

[Stephanie47]

I tried under dressing on my private time with a sweatshirt and jeans. As a retiree I had no concerns about coworkers finding out, etc. I always shake my head when I hear men asking for advice as to which bra to wear under their work clothes. It's just plain stupid. It's nothing but risk v reward. Explain to a wife why she is not going to the office Christmas party anymore or the summer picnic. No man is an island until himself.

I see you're an engineer. Maybe you can tell him you were testing out the strength and durability of a new design for garters. Or take an early retirement (63). Or, if he blabs and work becomes intolerable, sue for a 'hostile work environment.

[Alliecat]

Don't talk to your coworker or anyone else about it. Deny it if anyone brings it up and assume that your coworker kept his mouth shut if nobody says anything. If someone told you something like that aboutanother coworker you'd half expect it to be untrue anyway. As far as anyone else is concerned its just another rumor in the workplace.

[Chickhe]

You need a cover story... go tell a trusted co-worker in private that you were in the washroom and this other employee was peeking through the cracks in the stall and was stalking you on your way out...just say it was really odd, you won't report it unless something happens again. ...no explanation about what he saw is required, just lay the foundation in case he says anything. Then go buy some sock suspenders and wear them, make sure people notice your 'suspenders' so any stories can quickly be refuted. Then refrain from underdressing at work. ...now, on the other hand...most people are probably okay with it although initially flustered...or curious... so you gave someone a laugh. Oh, and its not the first time a guy wore such stuff on a dare to improve the romance with the wife...if you know what I mean, nudge nudge.

[sandra-leigh]

The worst thing can often be to act like something was wrong. And that includes giving the impression that you are eager to press him to keep his mouth shut. You are not required to explain to anyone (other than perhaps bosses or HR, if they ask.) You are not required to acknowledge to anyone. If someone else says something, you can divert with "Fred was peering in on people in the toilet stalls?"

In about 7 years of underdressing and 4-ish years of wearing only women's clothes, I was never once asked to explain to anyone (other than one person I was rather hinting to.) I think there must have been multiple times when the upper edge of my panties were visible when I was in the common areas and happened to be bending down; there was one time that I was fairly sure someone saw a couple of square inches, but nothing happened. But I was willing to "own" wearing what I wore with a shrug and an "Eh, so?". Remember that people can detect people trying to "hide" something a lot faster than they can detect what is being hidden, so when the clothes become "What I wear" rather than "I'm getting away with something", the detection rate will go down and the "care about it" rate will go down even further.

[celeste26]

If this person never does anything more than smiles then drop it from your end. There is no sense at all of confirming to him that you were doing anything less than proper by arguing with him about it. Because anything you might say to him will in fact make it look like a bigger deal than it really was.

I'm retired so I have no job to underdress at. I go en femme nearly everyday even outside doing my errands.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Veronica, It's like the old saying goes "If you play with fire sooner or later you are going to get burnt."

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Let it go usally it justs blows over.

[linda allen]

I suggest saying nothing and doing nothing. If you talk to him about it, it's an admission that you were doing something wrong. If he tells anyone and they mention it, you can deny it. Of course that means no more underdressing at work, at least for a while.

Messing around at work (affairs, crossdressing, etc.) is a really bad idea, especially if you have a career, not just a "job". Nothing but bad can come of these activities and a career setback will affect the rest of your life.

[Greenie]

I really don't like all this talk about lying. I would leave it be. When you lie, you might have a tell, or something that would make it more apparent you were lying.

a.) He has only walked past your office and smiled. So........ Has he walked by and snickered? Pointed? Is winking at you? Made other faces. Just a smile is not enough to go on. Maybe he knows a cd, maybe he is a cd, maybe he is an asshole, maybe he thinks its funny, maybe he thinks its hot, maybe he thinks 100 other things. Unless you ASK him. You won't know. I would not worry about it unless he makes it clear what his intentions are.

b.) This is why I do not understand underdressing at work. There are so many things that can go wrong. In this world your professional reputation is important. I would think it silly to jeopardize professional integrity that by bending over and have your lacy thong sticking out, etc etc. Unfortunately CDing or wearing women's undergarments is not widely accepted in this world and the risk of having rumor spread about you is something that you need to weigh before underdressing at work again. It would suck for him to tell everyone and then you be treated differently because of it.

[AveryS]

I underdressed at work all the time (I work from home now so I can do as I please). I once wore a full fishnet body stocking under my dress attire and a colleague gave me a friendly shoulder rub. I didn't react, although he seemed a little surprised (it's hard not to tell fishnets under clothing when you feel it through a dress shirt!), but didn't say anything. I just kept on like nothing happened and it never came up.

If you make a big deal about it, get embarrassed, confront him, or otherwise, it will make itself a big deal. When's the last time "can we keep this a secret?" ever resulted in a secret being kept?

Denial makes it seem like you're hiding something, like it's wrong or something. You're absolutely free to wear whatever you want, especially under your clothes, and should never be ashamed of it.

[Jamie001]

Don't lie or make excuses about it and if it is mentioned, own it. It is not anyone's business.

[Debra Russell]

If an issue is made,-- ask him if he is jealous ! .............................Debra

[LilSissyStevie]

I think he might be sweet on you.

[Roli F]

Hi I Outed Myself at Work Deliberately on a dress down day I chose an outfit that was similar to my female colleagues of around my age and wore that out to work a few people sniggered but more than 3/4 of them were supportive it has been a huge millstone that was dropped like an anchor into a harbour one I didn't want back
I have not looked back I work in a heavily male environment too.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

More colorful lies, or "plausible deniability" to use from the world of getting busted while engaging the fast paced/high risk world of "underdressing."

Those were "Shirt Stays", or "Shirt/Sock Garter's" often used by profession's that need to keep there shirts straight and in position, military, LE, etc." "I prefer longer sheer men's dress socks like the really fancy "Gold Toe" brand sold in Macy's."

"What in the world did you think I was wearing,, and why were you so interested in me getting dressed in the bathroom again?!!!!"

[Jamie001]

Don't lie or make excuses about it and if it is mentioned, own it. It is not anyone's business.

Remember, that you are not doing anything that is illegal or against the rules at work. Your work does not dictate what you wear under your clothing.

[Veronnie2]

I want to thank everyone for their suggestions and input, and even for the criticism. What a great bunch of people who follow this site. You are all great. I thank you. As a follow up: My smiley friend and I had a conversation about what had transpired, and the outcome is that he is also a crossdresser. He was very relieved to see that there is another person who, now, he can converse with about our lifestyles. Discretion will be kept between us. My fears may have turned into a new friendship. We shall see....Veronnica

[Tiffany Rose]

That is the best outcome possible! Thats really great.

[Zylia]

How many of us are there?!

Not much of a lesson for anyone else risking their job or career over wearing silk underwear and stockings though.

[robindee36]

As a follow up: My smiley friend and I had a conversation about what had transpired, and the outcome is that he is also a crossdresser. He was very relieved to see that there is another person who, now, he can converse with about our lifestyles. Discretion will be kept between us. My fears may have turned into a new friendship. We shall see....Veronnica

Sounds like you are going to come through this OK and I am happy for that Veronnica. Now, are there any lessons for us to learn from this? I see two.

First is underdressing or dressing at all can be fraught with unforeseen issues, especially in places where we are not 'out'. Second is there are quite a few of us here in the Chi Burbs who live in the closet. Getting darn crowded in here

TC and hugs, Robin