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Thread: My Mom knows

  1. #1
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    My Mom knows

    Today, my mother came to my house to talk about something not related to cross dressing. However, during the conversation she told me that she knows I cross dress. She added that she has done a lot of research about it. And today, there was even an article in the paper by Ann Landers about it. Great timing.
    The end result, once she researched it, she is okay with it. In fact, she even encouraged me to get out and hang out with other dressers.
    Of everyone I was worried about learning of my cross dressing, she was the one I dreaded. She is very "old school" in that she didn't understand things out if the normal. But in the end, she is actually encouraging me!
    Needless to say, I was, and still am shocked. But I am also relived that i don't need to go out of my way to try to hide this side of me with her any more.
    Last edited by susancheerleader; 10-23-2013 at 05:39 PM. Reason: spelling and grammer

  2. #2
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    Good for your mother. Now, are you going to listen to her advice?
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  3. #3
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    That is so great Susan! Having friends that accept you for who you is great! But having ones mother to accept you is divine! You are oh so lucky!!!!!!!!!!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  4. #4
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Mums always know, they just don't bother telling us they know, and yes you should hang out with people with the same interests
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  5. #5
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    Glad for you !

  6. #6
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    I live in a small town. Even if there is another dresser, we wouldn't be able to get out but still hide within our houses. I would have to travel some distance to an area I know has dressers that openly are able to go out and enjoy a night out or whatever. It isn't an excuse, just an inconvenience.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Brooklyn's Avatar
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    That's wonderful news! Since you live in Maine, seems like you could safely crossdress under your parka half of the year and no-one would ever know.
    Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

  8. #8
    Member Caitlin_85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelakld View Post
    Mums always know, they just don't bother telling us they know
    This happened to me as well...a few times growing up they found all the bras and panties that I had stashed in my bed room and tossed them out. But it was never spoken about.
    I want to be a girl - that's all.

  9. #9
    Member DianeDeBris's Avatar
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    That's wonderful, Susan, we're all very happy for you! Did your Mom indicate either how she knew or what moved her to bring it up at this time? Hugs!

  10. #10
    Junior Member cdmcconnell84's Avatar
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    Hi Susan, I'll add the same "congrats!" along with everyone else.
    I'm curious too though if you don't mind - how old are you?
    I only ask because I'm getting (dangerously) close to 30 myself and my mother doesn't know that I've been interested in crossdressing for a decade or so and have even begun considering HRT in recent years. At least, I *think* she doesn't. It's always hard to know for sure, isn't it? Personally, I don't think my mother would be terribly happy about it, so I haven't been in a rush to have "the conversation."
    It's good to know that other gurls have had the support of their families though... Again, congrats!

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member Jackie7's Avatar
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    I wish I had come out to my mother, CD did not get serious for me until long after I had left home so I don't think she knew. Too late now she passed on in 2000. So yes congrats Susan, a big one.

  12. #12
    New Member Calbab's Avatar
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    Thanks so much for your post, Susan!! The Ann Landers article will be of great help to me, and it is very timely, indeed...

    I happen to be in the midst of a 'mini-crisis' right now, because MY MOTHER has just arrived in town earlier today, and she'll be staying with us through early November -- I'm married with two children, and my wife will be spending a few days out of town on a business trip next week.. Therefore, my mother is here to help out with my three year-old son and one year-old daughter... In addition to that, I'm still mostly 'in the closet', but Mom knows about my desire to wear women's clothes, especially shoes and pantyhose...

    When I 'came out' to my wife about 8 1/2 months ago about my CD passion, we went through some very difficult times... As understanding as she tried to be, she wasn't in favor of me going out dressed -- and she definitely didn't want me going on 'epic shopping sprees' to restore the woman's wardrobe I once had (but purged) shortly after we got married.. Anyhow, the ongoing tension between us got started in February, and 'spilled over' into my mother's Easter visit in March... So, she is keenly aware that I am actively pursuing this as a 'part-time' lifestyle choice...

    To make matters EVEN WORSE, we're closing in on what appears to me to be "family intervention mode".. My uncle (Mom's younger brother) suffers from clinical depression, and he has said many times within the past two or three years that he is very concerned about me.. Apparently the men on my mother's side of the family have had a prior history of beginning to show signs of this depression when they reach their mid-40s.. So, my mother (and, to some extent, my wife) want me to CALL HIM A.S.A.P. and "spill my guts"... I'm really not ready for this!
    Last edited by Calbab; 10-23-2013 at 10:18 PM.

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Susan,
    To keep your mum on side lether do the asking about wanting to see you dressed.
    You can ask her in the first instance if she would like to see Susan and if she is okay, that is good.
    If she shows resistance go slowly.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  14. #14
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    I did a little speculation based on your age (49). I suspect your mom has been around long enough to see a lot more than most. She probably realizes you're a great guy, who just happens to like to wear a dress.

  15. #15
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    Hi Susan, Isn't it something how moms always know what's going on.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  16. #16
    Woman and loving it Jennifer Marie P.'s Avatar
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    That's great.Moms always know.
    Pinkessence Transliving Urnotalone

  17. #17
    Member susan jackson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer Marie P. View Post
    That's great.Moms always know.
    Agreed. It doesn't matter how well you hide it, SHE always knows!
    People try to put us down
    Just because we get around

  18. #18
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    Now this may be a fantasy that may come true, or a pipe dream. But way down the road after a long time has gone by and she's even more comfortable about it and has seen you dressed, wouldn't it be a hoot to have lunch with mom as her 'daughter'then go girly shopping together.

  19. #19
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone.
    I should have known my mom would know! I am nit sure how accepting she is. But her understanding and encouraging me to go out someplace to meet other crossdressers, is a very good sign. Its a relieve she knows now. I dont need to hide this now.

  20. #20
    Member Lex321's Avatar
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    Great story! Glad to see even though she is "old school" she still accepts you. I for one couldn't picture myself loving my children any less for anything.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Suzanne F's Avatar
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    I came out to my mother about 6 months ago. It went very well and she was not offended. She was concerned about me going out but that is understandable. She lives in a small city in Kentucky not in the San Francisco Bay Area like me. Once I assured her I would be safe she seemed ok. She is rather old school also but she seems to be changing like many people in her generation. I have an openly gay cousin that she interacts with along with his partner. I think as more of us come out we will find more acceptance down the road, much like the gay community. I know that isn't possible for all of us. I am out to many people but not everyone. My wife and I are working through what that looks like and what works for our family.
    Suzanne
    Last edited by Suzanne F; 10-24-2013 at 03:55 PM.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Robbin_Sinclair's Avatar
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    All the fellowships that address different concerns (AA, NA, AL-NON, etc) talk about a 5th step where you tell your higher power and one other person the deepest parts of your life's secrets. I'm watching it make a big difference in people in the work that I do and my life.

    You have had that secret relieved. Hooray for you and moreso for you mom. I'm not sure that mums always know best but yours sounds like someone who is very special.

    Maybe her brother could be CD interested. I can speak for myself in relating that it is a great way to address the getting old depression thing.
    Last edited by Robbin_Sinclair; 10-24-2013 at 03:26 PM.

  23. #23
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone.
    My Mom, and the whole family have always been close and supportive of each other. I've just never trusted they would accept this part of me.
    I haven't heard anything from my sisters about this. I'm sure my mom talked to one of them about it.
    I am not willing to show Susan to them in person.... Yet. But the door for me to trust them with this side of my life has greatly opened a lot. Mom knows obviously, and that she WANTS me to get out and meet other crossdressers is a relief and very encouraging.

  24. #24
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    Would your mom be interested in meeting you and introducing you to your sisters? I think it's great to meet other CDrs, but even better to spend time with people who are part of your everyday life!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  25. #25
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    I highly doubt it. Yes, she knows and is encouraging me to meet others. But that in no way means she wants any part of seeing Susan.

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