Is CDing like a drug addiction?

[Katie Russell]

I have read number of posts on this forum and there does seem to be a common thread. It seems that most of us start at a young age with a fascination for female clothes.

Then through our teenage years we then 'borrow' clothes from a female relatives. This normally give us some sexual gratification.

We then progress to buying our own clothes, make up, wigs, forms and finally going out in public.

Each stage is a progression from the last and each stage becomes more thrilling than the last.

I know how my heart raced when I bought my first item of women's clothing. And I know that each time I go shopping I get the same buzz.

I've read thread about girls who've gone out in pubic for the first time and how it makes them feel. I know that I fantasise about it.

Is this buzz the reason why we CD? Is there something released in our brains that stimulates us to go further each time? Like drug addicts once we've reached a certain level we need to go further for that extra high.

Do we need to CD to release this chemical? Is that what makes us feel so good? Lots of you say how relaxed you feel after CDing.

I've read posts for girls who've purged (gone cold turkey) and like an addiction have gone back to it.

If we dressed as a woman full time do we lose that buzz once it becomes mundane. I don't know but I think the reason we keep pushing the boundaries is to keep getting that adrenaline hit.

I've never been able to find any research on the web that explains why we CD. It only really vaguely mentions about how our brains are wired but never that we are adrenalin junkies.

If anyone has any thoughts on the subject I'd be interested to know.

Katie.

[Karren H]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

[Dianne S]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

Hah! Too true.

CDing is addictive, but the activity itself is far less harmful to your health than most drugs... so it's a relatively harmless addiction.

I do think the desire increases as one gets older as part of a feedback loop. Our brains are plastic and adjust to reinforce the desire to do things we already like to do.

[sometimes_miss]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

Many drug and alcohol addicts never really recover either; they're simply addicts that don't indulge their addiction TODAY. We take it one day at a time. So, recover from crossdressing, well, some of us, we sort of can. But it's not easy. It's as simple as admitting that I want to, but won't do it.....today. Fortunately, I've found that I can usually get by as long as I have some sort of source of physical affection; whether free, or paid for, doesn't matter. I'm going on five months with no CDing. Watch this space for updates. I have days where I really really really really want to, and not doing so takes all my strength; keeping my 'stash' in a storage unit helps, as it will take a lot to go there, park, go up a flight of stairs, open up the sliding door and then dig through everything to get exactly what I want. By not 'purging', I don't buy anything new, as I already own virtually everything I want. It's like wanting anything else; just do something to keep your mind busy on something else, keep busy, tell yourself if you really really need to, you'll do it tomorrow. Then see how you feel in the morning. Remind yourself that no one ever died from not crossdressing for a day, and you'll realize how irrational the need for immediate gratification of this desire really is. For all of you hoping to quit, try this. It's not easy. But I think it can be done.

[linda allen]

Crossdressing is not an addiction. There's no chemical dependence like there is with drugs, cigatettes or alcohol. It's something you like to do, similar to playing golf, fishing, etc. Some folks take it to extremes just as some folks do with other activities.

[hosierylover]

Crossdressing is not an addiction. There's no chemical dependence like there is with drugs, cigatettes or alcohol. It's something you like to do, similar to playing golf, fishing, etc. Some folks take it to extremes just as some folks do with other activities.

Hi Linda, I can't fully agree with you there, CDing to me as well as a lot of others is totally additive, if I don't do it I get moody and frustrated, I also am a relapsing heavy drug user that went clean for seven years of marriage and when that fell apart in February, I went straight back to drugs, I also purged, since I was now living with a mate and his wife( I had the whole top story), but two days latter I was trying to find all my stuff again(but no good), so I just made do buying new pair blk tights, but the urge got stronger and I came out to my mates wife, who loved it and cos we were the same size she said I had full access to all her shoes and clothing,
Months later house of my own again, I am buying stuff to dress up each week, I just can't stop and it's getting stronger, I have found out that after coming out to one person it gets easier to tell people and it's such a buzz talking about it,
I wear hosiery everyday and I just can't stop and I LOVE IT

[ReineD]

It's different for everyone, isn't it.

It's clear that it does start off sexually for the vast majority of CDers and a lot of people here say that the CDing brings with it feelings of euphoria, or thrill, or a high, or elevated feelings of some sort ... or any other way you want to put it. So yes, these elevated feelings do release chemicals in the brain that relate to pleasure, and these are the same chemicals that are released in people who have addictions to drugs or alcohol, or are compulsive with behaviors like watching porn or sexual addictions, or gambling, shopping, etc. Also, our sexual awareness of what feels good to our bodies is present at very early ages, so it can be sexual even if a CDer was aware at age 8 that he enjoyed wearing feminine things, although the full impact of ejaculation will obviously not occur until pubescent age.

It's also true that it becomes a problem when it has a negative impact in other life areas.

BUT ... It is also true that the compulsion morphs over time and it does become a need. This is why there are so many different answers in this thread. Everyone is at a different stage. I take it though, that the CDers for whom it is still a sexual thrill tend to be on average younger than the CDers for whom it has morphed into feelings of comfort, although admittedly everyone has a different libido. There seems to be an increased need to dress that is not sexual, for crossdressers approaching middle age or older.

To those of you who say it is epigenetic in utero, I believe this can also be true but I expect it is in the minority.

==================================

To anyone who is interested in the physical reactions to the CDing, i.e. the brain chemicals released, here is a series of six videos on what happens to the brain during addiction of either substances or behaviors.

This particular video series is based on porn addiction, but you can substitute the thrills related to the CDing for the purpose of observing the physiological results:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

NOTE: I am not comparing the need to crossdress to porn addiction. I am providing a link to the best series of videos that I have seen on the physical reactions to thrill inducing behaviors.

[Beverley Sims]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

In addition this has no lasting health effects.

[Stephanie47]

I don't believe CDing is like a drug addiction. I think the progression is due to inching forward slowly because we have been conditioned to think we are doing something abnormal, immoral, against societal mores and expectations, against Biblical teachings.

I have read many many posts on this forum that mirror my journey. Yep, deny the guy the opportunity for self expression and his actions become like a person denied some drug. He waits for a crumb of time to become available so he may dress for ten minutes. Or he risks discovery by underdressing for an hour. Yep, looks like an addition. However, given the opportunity to dress whenever the need arises, he mellows out. At least I do. I know I can dress whenever the needs arises. I no longer "sneak" a crumb of time.

[Bootsiegalore]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

I completely agree! This is terminal!!!!

[Christina Kay]

I think Iam genetically predisposed, to this compulsiveness . Hugs

[windycissy]

No question about it – the rush from dressing can be addictive. Even the thought of dressing releases endorphins and dopamine resulting in a feeling of euphoria, which is why I can’t kick it. One thing I learned from this thread is when a behavior like gambling interferes with everyday life, it can become a compulsive addiction, as opposed to a harmless addiction or even a positive one - for example the rush I get from running, which also causes a natural high. So the key seems to be self-control: if you dress because you like the way it makes you feel, and it doesn’t screw up your life, it’s wonderful, but if you lose that self-control it can hurt you and the ones you love. Fascinating topic!

[katssun]

I would say that the thrill of doing it is addicting for a while.

The rush of endorphins:
- When I first made breasts out of socks and stuffed them up my shirt.
- When I first "borrowed" clothes.
- When I first "borrowed" knee-high boots.
- When I first "borrowed" a one-piece swimsuit and put socks in it.
- When I made my first forms from 12" balloons filled just enough with water.
- When I ordered my first bra online, then again when I filled it with balloons.
- When I tucked for the first time.
- When I finally got a proper pair of breastforms and used them the first few times.
- The first time I shaved my legs and chest completely.
- The first time I used self-adhesive breastforms.
- The first time I wore a wig...

And so on. But the strange thing was, the more often I did it, the further the thrill went away. As it began to become a regular thing, there was no sexual thrill anymore. I was just being my other half for the first time.

It's only addicting if you make it addictive. Otherwise you're just becoming who you really are.

[ArleneRaquel]

Karren is 100% correct. Crissy is right in regard to losing control.

[Michelle (Oz)]

No question about it – the rush from dressing can be addictive. Even the thought of dressing releases endorphins and dopamine resulting in a feeling of euphoria, which is why I can’t kick it. One thing I learned from this thread is when a behavior like gambling interferes with everyday life, it can become a compulsive addiction, as opposed to a harmless addiction or even a positive one [...] which causes a natural high.

Slightly modified I'll go with this. Addictive perhaps but no physical or psychological harm ... thankfully!! Now just a high from life.

[Dani0948]

Perhaps not an addiction, but more like reading your favorite type of literature or watching you favorite tv program. I've never really fealt compelled to dress, but like a good book I really enjoy reading SF. Of course it's even better if I'm dressed while reading.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

I hate seeing terms like "guilt" and "shame" used. Sure people may have but if they do, they should not.

Perhaps, that's what this site is all about. Our feelings are there. They might be ridiculed by the people who don't feel this way but we should not have guilt or shame. If it doesn't interfere with others, all of the harm in crossdressing is how we feel.

If it good, good. If it is bad, do something about it.

I do feel frustrated sometimes but I deal with it using the same approach as my other addictions. I eliminate some (the dope and alcohol) but keep others (coffee and dressing). It works for me, especially when combining it with the basic tenets of Buddhism (impermanence and nonself).

robbin

[daviolin]

Oh what a beautiful addiction. Not harmful to your health, a stress reliever and just down right fun. What more could you want. Example of my addiction: I advanced all the way to full dress and make-up and going out for girly fun. I guess I must have regressed in my habit. I prefer to stay home and dress and rarely use make-up anymore. I'm happy as a hog in mud with my leveling out. Daviolin

[Kate Simmons]

As with many things, it honestly depends on the individual person if it is addictive or not.

[Katie Russell]

Hi Karren

It can still be an addiction that we keep having to feed by going further and further. Are there any recovering CDers? I don't have any experience of drug addicts but I know plenty of ex-smokers who are one cigarette away from starting again. Is CDing psychological or physiological or a combination of the two?

Katie

[Robbin_Sinclair]

.........Each stage is a progression from the last and each stage becomes more thrilling than the last....Is there something released in our brains that stimulates us to go further each time? Like drug addicts once we've reached a certain level we need to go further for that extra high.....Do we need to CD to release this chemical? .... I've never been able to find any research on the web that explains why we CD....Katie.

From my empirical studies (drug addicted and now 12 stepper), nothing is thrilling about that last hit with dope. You know you shouldn't have it but you know you have to have it. It sucks.

Does it release a chemical? Probably but who really knows? It does reinforce a positive feeling for me. I can let it become a sexual thing but I try to avoid that.

For me, the thrill of just putting on a favorite comfortable skirt and top, preferably made from scratch in my studio is enough. If I had companionship to got out to a place in a tolerant location, I can hold my own with the make up, pantyhose and high heels.

Otherwise it's ballet slippers and a positive fem attitude, reinforced by meditation. Ever notice how feminine some Buddhist icons can look? That's where I want to be.

namaste rbbn

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katie, Karen nailed it on this one.

[Cynthia Anne]

I never thought I was addicted to anything! Now you tell me that I am! And wouldn't you know it! It's something that there's no cure for! Just my luck!

[Lexi Moralas]

This I tough question

[Lori Kurtz]

For me, CDing was definitely like a drug addiction. It was a high, a rush, and I have no doubt that there were measurable physiological and chemical changes in my body when I would do it. The pounding of my heart, the butterflies in my stomach ... it was a powerful and wonderful feeling. It always culminated in sexual satisfaction, which in itself, as we all know, involves releases of pleasure-related chemicals. CDing was such a powerful urge, in an addiction-similar way, that it made me take foolish risks sometimes, and it cost me a marriage. There was shame and guilt involved with it, and yet I did it anyway. The excitement about the whole thing is part of why I'm here now, even though I don't dress up anymore. And if I could be the shapely, sexy, young babe I used to enjoy becoming, I'd probably do it today. Another reason why I'm here now, though, is to help deal with those feelings of shame and guilt. It helps to hear from others who have gone through similar things to what I have gone through, or who experience other variations of the CD/TS spectrum, and to be in an environment that is compassionate and accepting of things that many people have a hard time with.