Well..... last night our relationship came to a head..... I told her I thought we should consider divorce. Her reaction as not very good, but Ami did not come up... yet.
Well..... last night our relationship came to a head..... I told her I thought we should consider divorce. Her reaction as not very good, but Ami did not come up... yet.
If you can identify what the issues are in the marriage that seems to be leading you and her to a divorce, maybe they can be resolved. I do not recall if you stated how long you've been married. Your bio says you're sixty. To me that sort of makes any kids adults. If you're been married a long time, she probably has come to terms with the cross dressing issue. She may have a sense of how kids will react. If you're friends, neighbors and family know who you really are as a person, many of them may be civil.
I guess there may be a big elephant in the room and neither you or your wife wants to talk about it. Sometimes avoid the big elephant means all the small stuff of life becomes the nagging issue. Rather than talking about the cross dressing, she may nag you about the dirty socks under the bed.
You just said "Her reaction (w)as not very very good..." What the heck does that mean? Are you giving up, and, she wants to work at keeping the marriage? Or did she start throwing dishes at you?
As I've written elsewhere, my ex-wife outed me as a prelude to divorce, mostly to support her claim to 75% of the assets. I decided I was done with hiding, confirmed the information to my grown kids and our friends, and everyone got on with their lives. She had not worked in years and had enough ailments to make any return to work unlikely, so when the choice became ongoing alimony or cough up the 75%, I chose to cough. Doors close and doors open, I'm very happy with my choices and have not looked back.
Update to the New Year.....
Cannot bear to stay, but cannot leave.
The wife's vialed threats are still there, but now she feels sorry for me. She told me that it must be my crossdressing desires that are causing me to be unhappy..... not her She cannot accept that she is the root of our problems.
Blackmail is a weapon that can only be fired once. Veiled threats are a childish and manipulative way of addressing your problems and are only effective if you allow them to be.
If you are set on divorce then you need to decide how to equitably divide your household. The way that you dress has nothing to do with your assets or debts. It is not illegal or immoral.
If you are at this stage you should be consulting an attorney, not a forum. That way you can be advised of how things work in your locality and know how to proceed to protect your interests.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
If it were me, I'd take the approach of
"Well the toothpaste is out of the tube now".
Especially if she provides people with proof (Im assuming she knows details of your online picture storage and post) on this forum?
2 benefits from this;
1- You will find out very quickly which of your family and friends love you for YOU.
2- Less hiding and more freedom to be yourself if friends or family are coming over.
All the best
Samantha -x-
In the 90's my friend went through a divorce. At the time, the ex-wife outed my friend as a CD. My friend handled it well, she did not deny it and even spoke about it in court, the judge thought the ex was being spiteful. Anyway, the ex-wife did not get custody of the kid. The reason was because the cd'ing husband was a good person with a stable career, etc. Now the child has grown up and my friend is now transitioning.
If you are outed, you need to own up to it, especially if you are going through a divorce. In a divorce there are far worse things than being called a CD, you could be called a liar.
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