What are your regrets?

[Abby Lauren]

Hi everybody
At the risk of this being a downer, I thought I would try to see what others may have regretted not doing in their lives as crossdressers.
Probably my major regret was in not having the courage to overcome my sense of possible humiliation by coming out to my mother when I was young. In retrospect, it appears that my mother knew all about my alterego but I always denied it to her whenever she would allude to it. She never came right out and asked me if I crossdressed. She was too kind and sensitive a human being to do that. She may also have been too frightened to actually acknowledge the truth. But, she passed along many hints to me about her being amenable to my crossdressing. Unfortunately, she passed away when I was 19. I always wonder about the road not taken. What might have happened if I had my mother's support all along? Having not taken up her suggestions, I was always left with the feeling that I should be ashamed for being who I was. It took me many years before I could be proud of myself as a transgendered person.
Are there others in this wonderful forum who are willing to share their regrets?
I look forward to hearing from you.
Love,
Abby

[ginafaye]

there have been many moments in my life where in hind sight i wish i would have embraced my passion for my fem side ...but we can only move foward ..........

[Raychel]

My number one regret would be not telling my wife before we got married. But we can't change the past

[Mary Jane]

I bought a wig when I was in my early twenties. All I saw in the mirror was a man in a woman's wig. If I had known then what I know now about makeup, I would not have wasted so many years not dressing. Remember this was a time before the internet and information was almost nonexistant. A lot of wasted years but nothing can be done about that now. I just look onward.

Mary Jane

[Rikki Elisabeth]

Time to pause and reflect. I regret few things but I know that there some I would have done differently:

1. Not get married.
2. Become much more involved in crossdressing and TG during college.
3. Lived as a girl FOREVER.

Happy New Year!!!

[Rosemary]

Time to pause and reflect. I regret few things but I know that there some I would have done differently:

1. Not get married.
2. Become much more involved in crossdressing and TG during college.
3. Lived as a girl FOREVER.

Happy New Year!!!

I always love your posts, Rikki.

They make so much sense to me. I know I have an opportunity of not making the same mistakes where some of the more mature girls on this forum consider they have. I love reading and learning from their experience.
In regard to your post.

I don't intend to get married, with the way I am it simply wouldn't be fair to me or my partner.

I will get involved as much as possible in crossdressing because I love it so much, full time is my dream.

I want to live as a girl forever, and I know that we all can do this one, as long as we don't let what others think or consider normal get in our way.

Luv to you.

Mary

[ChristineRenee]

1. Not having any children.

2. Although I love my wife very much, not marrying someone who fully accepted me for who I am and who didn't either try to change me or to deny that a large part of the person that I am even exists.

3. Not recognizing much sooner in life that I was not just a CD but TG as well.

4. Not accepting, and especially embracing, myself for who I am as a person, resulting in too many years of enduring a needless lack of self-esteem because of it.

[TGMarla]

I don't have any kids, either, but that has nothing to do with crossdressing. I wish I had come to grips with it earlier in my life, gone out and had some fun with it. I wish I had been up front with my wife, too. Then I might not be so "in the closet" about all of this.

But overall, regrets get you nowhere. So I look ahead, and just accept the past.

[MsJanessa]

Everybody has regrets most people, including Me, have too many to list here---Instead of trying to do that I'm going to make a resolution---to live Me life according to the way I feel it should be lead---not according to what other people may think----that way maybe I won't have as many regrets.(actually I've been doing this for the last few years and it seems to work)

[suzy]

My biggest regret......not starting sooner....way sooner...I hid it and pushed my feeling back and fought it for way too long...

[Christina Nicole]

• Would have been nice to have kids
• Should have extended myself a bit instead of being conservative and bought the other house. It was only 70g more.
• Should have at least tried to get into a top tier college

Live and learn

Warm regards
Christina Nicole

[MarinaTwelve200]

Not really such a big deal, compaired to the other posts, but I should have gone along with what my friends were doing, and dressed like a girl at Halloween too, when I was in my early teens (in the 60's).----But my own secret CDing made me very reructant to do that. I would have looked great and also not missed out on a lot of fun and adventure---who knows?, early experience, actually being out in public,(with social approval, being Halloween) might have releived a lot of the psychological turmoil I went thru over my CD in later years.---

BTW halloween, 2004 was the first (and only) time I have been out in public CDed.

[connie rotten]

Moving out of the San Francisco Bay Area :crying:
Next would be waiting until I was 37 before I stopped drinking

[HaleyPink2000]

Regrets HuH?

Yeah, we all have made mistakes. Thats how we learn many times. Since many times we don't listen! HUH?

Lets see, is there enough room for me to post all my regrets? Nahh, prolly not.

Not wanting to bore you all. But I'll give you just one!

" I regret being in denile for most of my life about CDing". I was so trying to grow beyond the idea of dressing.

Haley

[HaleyPink2000]

I so want that dress. Where did you buy such a beautiful dress?

Haley

[Butterfly Bill]

I wish I had started dancing much sooner.

[Lilith Moon]

I wish I had started dancing much sooner.

Hey Bill,

Nice to see you here ! I've always enjoyed your newsgroup posts.

Like most here, there are so many things I wish I had done earlier. I've spent years in conflict, feeling guilty, trying to repress my true self, missing out. Why, oh why didn't I accept myself all those years ago....

[Rikidee]

Not letting my true self be known when I was much younger when the consequences were not so great. Should have not been so good at hiding and allowed myself to be outed. I could now be honest with everyone.
Rikidee

[Nikki A.]

Getting married a 2nd time (although I do love my wife and kids to death),
I did tell my wife about dressing and she thought that she could deal with it
Not knowing or not admitting to myself where all this was leading to
Again times were different then and like many of us, we felt alone and isolated.

[Robyn2006]

When I was 23 years old I was pretty much awash in femininity. My entire life revolved around dressing up, although I somehow managed to keep this a secret, with everyone just thinking I liked to be alone. Anyway, there was this one night where I was dressed to the nines and I was out in my backyard thinking about my future. It was a pivotal time for me, as I was in college and had a new career looming. That night I asked myself the question: Do I want to live this secret life, or do I want to pursue my career 100%? I answered yes to the latter and purged big time. My regret is not understanding that my need to be feminine was not something I could ever turn off, it is simply who I am. Over the next 5 years I managed to keep this need at bay and built my little career, but was so unhappy. Eventually, I came back to it all and with it rediscovered the joy I only have known when I could be my fem self. I so wish I could go back to that night and tell myself that my need to be feminine is not a choice, it's who I am, that I should embrace it with as much fervor as anything else in my life. At that time I really could have come out and been free to explore my possibilities. Not to say it's hopeless now, but I'm certainly locked into a life where coming out is not a possibity. It would require starting all over. Not in and of itself an impossibility, but far harder than it once might have been.

Robyn

[Katiegirl]

My main regret is not being true to myself earlier in my life and living how I wanted as Katie, I think by now I would be so much happier.



Mind of a Woman, Body of a Man, Life is a bitch

[ReginaK]

I'm still young, so no serious regrets yet. My biggest regrets are getting fat, not taking better care of my skin during my teens, and spending so much time in denial about who I am. The denial part is the worst and in some ways I still do it to this day.

[windycissy]

I should have gone along with what my friends were doing, and dressed like a girl at Halloween too, when I was in my early teens (in the 60's).----But my own secret CDing made me very reructant to do that. I would have looked great and also not missed out on a lot of fun and adventure---who knows?, early experience, actually being out in public,(with social approval, being Halloween) might have releived a lot of the psychological turmoil I went thru over my CD in later years.

You take me back to the Halloween when my mother asked me if she would let her dress me up as a girl. She told me she always wondered what I would have looked like...but I too was spooked because of my secret CDing. What a pity! She would have had a ball dressing me up in my sister's cute clothes, and it would have been a wonderful experience for me.

When I was 23 years old I was pretty much awash in femininity. My entire life revolved around dressing up, although I somehow managed to keep this a secret, with everyone just thinking I liked to be alone. Anyway, there was this one night where I was dressed to the nines and I was out in my backyard thinking about my future. It was a pivotal time for me, as I was in college and had a new career looming. That night I asked myself the question: Do I want to live this secret life, or do I want to pursue my career 100%?

I made the same choice. How I wish I had totally explored my feminine side when I got my first apartment after college...I had such beautiful long hair then, I could have styled it and experienced life as a pretty young girl.

My other big regret is breaking things off with Mr. Right. I know it was probably inevitable and for the best, but we had so much fun together and I really miss him...instead of sitting home on New Year's Eve, I could be in a little black dress, trying to dance backwards while he holds me in his arms...sigh!

Windy

[Sweet Susan]

I guess my biggetst regret is not allowing myself to indulge earlier in life. I had plenty of clues early on, but I either ignored them or didn't pay attention. I think if I had emersed myself into crossdressing when I was say, 20, to the extent that I am now, I would probably be an entirely different person. I'm not sure what that means to me. For some reason I believe that if I had begun earlier I might have really gone all the way, if you know what I mean. It's kind of scary when I think about it.

[Abby Lauren]

I think this is such a wonderful group and I thank everybody who has posted thus far.
Interestingly, I share so many of the same regrets as others who have posted. My late mother also asked me to let her dress me up in a blue dress for Halloween when I was about 8 or 9. I demurred, wanting to see what the scene would be like first. I went as a cowboy, instead- yuck- and saw that another boy went as a girl. He wore a skirt that had a large pinafore under it and, all night, 2 nasty brothers taunted and teased him and kept picking up his skirt. Although I was relieved that it hadn't happened to me, I was hurting for him --- and for me--- that it hadn't happened. Like a number of you, I have no idea where I'd be now had I allowed this side of me to be openly out from this early age or even later.
Nevertheless, thank goodness, I've finally come to celebrate who I am and I am thrilled to be Abby as often as I can.
I look forward to other posts.