It's not body dysmorphia but is it more than rose colored glasses?

[Jenniferathome]

I typically shop online and when I see something I like - on a female model- I think to myself, "That's cute, I'd like to look like that." But how can I possibly think that? My body is way, way different than your average female model. I shared one such revelation here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...highlight=East.

I noticed it again with this tie-dye dress. I love the dress but what am I thinking!? I have to be objective about myself. Maybe I need to shop with an item on hanger instead? Are cross dressers particularly blind to the reality of shape or is it just me?


I wanted to add one thought. It is not that I want to look this this woman but that when I see this shape, I ridiculously think, "Oh, THAT dress will make me look feminine." As if the dress had the power to change my body shape. Just such an odd thing to think when I know what I look like. Too funny.

[Marika01]

Shape is always going to be a problem - but ask any GG the same question and you will get the same answer. Take a long hard look at the women you see out and about. How many have bodies like models? They make the best of what they have. And having been told by a GG that I have a figure GGs would like to have, I guess I'm not complaining. Flaunt what's good disguise that which you aren't so happy with. And, I guess, if it doesn't work, try something different next time?

All that said, no you don't look like the model in the picture, but you don't look bad in that dress either.

[Kate Simmons]

If we look at it from the stand point of "The people make the clothes" rather than "the clothes make the people" we have a pretty good head start Hon.

[Gillian Gigs]

This is a guess, but I think the truth is in this somewhere. I think that you just experienced what all women who are not models think and feel. Whether you are talking about male, or female clothes, they are designed for the models particular size, and noone ever looks like the model did. You probably just had a real girl moment and didn't realize it!

[Dannigirl]

I have the same thing. I return pretty much anything I buy online from Sears, but then I remind myself that shopping is half the fun. I also find that when I am dressed and look down at my body instead of a mirror, the feminine illusion is much better and I see a female shape , but then I look in a mirror and most of the time I just see a guy in a dress.

[Erica Marie]

First off the girl in the pic is about a size 00, most ggs want to look that way and they cant. I do the same thing. Only suggestion I have is look past the model and like the outfit. If you like theboutfit then find it in your size and go from there.

[DanaInME]

Jen you look cute as hell in that dress!

[Starshine24]

I do the whole looking down thing too!! When I first started I had this magical notion that I could just throw on a dress and *poof*! Instant woman. Turns out I missed a few hundred other steps.
As for your picture of the model, turns out they more than likely chose from several different ladies that could professionally wear a dress, and chose the chick that filled it out the best. Since how we can't do the same, we make the best of what we got just like any other woman.

[DonnaT]

Personally, I think the dress looks better on you than the model. Horizontal stripes aren't for everyone.

As to your question, as the others have indicated, your experience is no different that that of other women.

[Karren H]

I order a dress online once.... looked awesome on the model and horrid on me... that was the last time... Now I try on everything in the store before I buy it.... to see if it works on my not so feminine body.....

[Beverley Sims]

I think we all suffer from severe imaginitus and suffer the rose colored glasses syndrome sometimes.
If we didn't we would never make advances, nor would we better ourselves.
You have to be a realist and realise that it is not just weight but the frame that you are wandering around in needs modification as well.
Put on the nice dress, see how it looks...."Like A Corset." and dream of something more practical.
Jennifer you have nice legs and body shape, but put up with "Twiggy" there you look positively dowdy.
I think you would have looked acceptable in that dress until today.

[GretchenJ]

I think what people buy what they like, a particular style, and then try to work around it. I think that this is done for both men and female clothes, but male clothes tend to be much more forgiving.
Thank being said, and by looking at your picture - you really have nothing to worry about, I think it looks much better on you than on the model myself as well..

[Michelle V]

Hi Jen, my wife gives me a hard time when I try to look halfway decent as Michelle, she says I have unrealistic expectations of what I should look like, she is totally right, I should be happy that at least I have her support and open-mindedness ( not sure if openmindness is even a word) I should be thankful that she cares enough to make Michelle feel and look better than she should, let's face it, I'm just a dude in a dress, but if she tells me I look good who am I to argue with a real, smart and beautiful woman.

AND are you kidding me? This is one of your best pictures and that dress is killer. You look awesome.

[Cheryl T]

Try being plus size and seeing all these lovely things on the models and wishing you could wear that when the truth is they probably don't even make it in your size.
We all suffer from the advertising world's desire to sell us on a style or look that they want to push. It takes a little time and introspection to know what will and will not look good on your body when it looks so good in print.

[Kate Simmons]

Like Starshine said, when I put on the clothes I am "poof" instant woman. The "woman" is already in there I just have to adjust the exterior to match the inside and wah-lah there she is. Simple really.

[jodie k]

hi
well, you would first have to takes off a few pounds to look like the model whose skinny legs dont match the shape of yours--and even doing that you would still feel like a mismatch. i see you have bought the dress and are wearing it, that's more to the point than comparing yourself to any ad photo jodie

[Devin C]

You are gorgeous In that dress. I love it an you rock it girl.

[AllieSF]

That is the disadvantage of buying on line. I look at several fashion magazines as a learning process to see what I first like and then decide if it could work for me. However, the true proof is trying it on and looking in a good full length mirror. Since most of what I buy is from thrift stores giving me the advantages of seeing, touching and trying it on in the store (mostly in male mode which has its own faults) I buy too many things. However, that gives me the opportunity to mix and match until I can finally get it right, or decide to recycle that item of clothing.

I believe that most of us, me included, many times fantasize what we would look like in advertised clothing. It is only natural and there is nothing wrong about that. We just need to have the common sense to realize that we will not look like the model in those clothes, and at the same time realize that we may juts be able to make it work for us anyway. I daily browse Craigslists' "Clothing and Accessories" section. It is always fun to see the bridesmaids; gowns pictures in the individual posts. They many times show the official product pictures with the cute and slim models and then pictures of the current owner wearing the gown at a wedding or prom or some other formal event. There are so few women's and young girls that come anywhere near to really pulling off the advertised look. Some do spectacularly, most don't, but still look wonderful in those same gowns.

In your current example and the one in your linked thread about the black and white dress, you more than made them work for you.

[Maria 60]

Actually looks to me like the dress looks better on you.

[Mssusan]

First, you look very nice in the dress. Second, there are very few people who have a print or runway models body, men or women. Finally, the clothes are often adjusted to look better on the model. In the example you posted, I'll bet the dress was at least pinned behind the waist.

Buy clothes that you like on their own, and decide if you like them on you.

Again, the tie dye dress really does look cute on you :-)

[reb.femme]

I think maybe I should do what I use to do.......wear the wife's dresses! She has two shift dresses that she look good on her and I like them on me too.

As you you say Jennifer, maybe we are blind to our shapes or maybe we blind ourselves to the reality, for the comforting thought of ordering it anyway .

I wish someone would lock me in a Wallis store overnight and I'd still be trying stuff on when they unlock in the morning. Mmmmmm,........might look for a Security Guard job there .

Rebecca

[Jenniferathome]

... You probably just had a real girl moment and didn't realize it!

Gillian, I think you may have hit it. For some reason, I did not think women have this kind of issue because, they still look like women but it must be very close to the same thing. An ideal to which very few can meet. I'm hoping for the "poof", as Starshine so ably put it. Such a curiosity this cross dressing thing.

[Dealight]

Jennifer, great thread...something common to all of us! Certainly have been there.... But at least let me add to the chorus.... I think you make that dress look pretty darn good!

Hugs, Dea

[robindee36]

Jennifer, I don't think it is just we CD's that are taken in by advertising. Its what marketers do and they do it extremely well with clothing, food, autos, etc. Whether we are contemplating a dress, shoes or other items being presented for sale, sanity must prevail.

Certainly the mirror is a great check for clothing (and other items too) which is why I agree heartily with Karren about the wisdom, and utility of trying things on. Sort of cuts into on-line shopping, but the outcomes are more consistently positive.

I do a little of both, but if its an online purchase, I have either personal experience with the item (Maidenform bras), have researched the heck out of it (boob pumps) or have scouted it out in the shops first. Whether its us buying girl or guy things, or a GG buying things, some semblance of reality needs to be incorporated. Way too many 'impulse' buys end up in my Goodwill donation bag. Yes, I support them from both ends of their ministry, donating and purchasing

For the record, you look very attractive in the dress. By comparison, the model is an anorexic photo shopped impression of a GG. You, on the other hand look like the real deal.

Hugs,Robin

[MatildaJ.]

I don't normally comment on photo threads, and I'm not sure if this is feedback you're open to, but I think the dress looks great on you, and the problem is that sweater. Something about where it ends, and where the sleeves end (or are pushed up to, I can't tell), makes it look like your arms are wrong for the outfit, or like you're wearing a doll's sweater. Could you try the dress again with a different cover-up? I'm terrible at giving fashion advice, so I don't really know how to fix this, but to my eyes, the dress itself looks better on you than on that emaciated or airbrushed model.