Sexual Orientation

[ChristinaXOXO]

Hey girls! I have questions that's been pondering in my mind for awhile.

I'm in my 20s and I've been CDing ever since the age of 14. For the last 6 years of experiencing CD, I've been only doing it for sexual purposes. Not just putting on garments but the whole package; wig, makeup, etc. Now am I doing this for the purpose of fulfilling a sexual fantasy, sexual desires, or is this just some sort of fetish I have during enfemme?

I am a straight CD but sometimes I question my sexual orientation when I am in enfemme. I love women and I am attracted to them. Even when I'm in enfemme, I still am attracted to them to point where I fantasize of having sex with them. Does this make me a lesbian during enfemme? And if I wanted to have sex with a man while enfemme would I be considered gay or bisexual?

Any opinions or help would be greatly appreciated!

Love ChristinaXOXO~

[Cyndie]

You are what you are. Putting on lingerie or a dress and heels does not make you a different person inside. I believe that we do not choose our sexuality or orientation. Sexuality is somewhere in side of us, our genes or hormones or something. Our present situation in life or the experiences we have in life may effect how we express that sexuality, but they do not change it. I lot of cross dressers ask, "What does cross dressing make me?" It does not make me anything, it is just an expression of who I am. Many people find cross dressing strange, but before World War II a woman wearing slacks was considered unacceptable by most of our society. Who know how cross dressing will be view in 75 years. I hope for younger gurls like you, in a better light.

Cyndie

[Erica Marie]

Im not going to elaborate on sexual preference. But you are young and I promise you will go through ALOT off different stages of crossdressing. Been there done that and being 40 something I still havent figured it all out. All I can say is grab every opportunity you can to figure out who you are inside, just please do it safely.

[Kate Simmons]

I think it just makes you yourself my friend.

[Brooklyn]

I'd say those feelings are common at your age. Are you ever attracted to men en drab? If not, being with a man may just be part of a sexual fantasy. Up to you if you really want to act on that...

[ChristinaXOXO]

No I am not attracted to men en drab ever. However, I am attracted to MtF CDs, MtF trans, and GGs while en femme. When I'm in drab I am still attracted to them.

[kymberlyjean]

Like it's been said- you are what you are. You're curious and you're exploring things that intrigue you. Nothing you said is earth shattering, so don't worry about that. As far as sexual orientation- that has way more to do with what you desire for a partner than what you do with or by yourself. Please don't feel like you have to run out to a gay bar and try to pick up a guy because you've figured out you like anal stimulation. If you're not attracted to guys, you're not attracted to guys. Period, the end. Plenty of straight guys like anal stimulation. Plenty of straight crossdressers like anal stimulation. It doesn't mean anything. Gay, straight, bi, try- is about what's between your ears, not between your legs or up your hoo-ha.
Please don't take this like I'm trying to talk you out of being gay or trying either. If that's something you feel you need to do, by all means explore it. Just don't confuse the two.

[ChristinaXOXO]

I don't think I desire men at all it's just the act of what I'm doing is making me think if I'm gay or not. Thanks for the clarification though!

[suzy1]

the whole subject of sex is not as simple as some will have you believe. They say I am heterosexual or I am gay or I am bi and so on.
Many people go thro their entire lives never exploring their sexual side beyond plain [vanilla?] sex.
The society we live in does seem to shun the darker side of sex as they see it [its not dark, just exciting!] and most people never explore the true potential within them.

You are going through a time of finding your self sexually so don't be put off by anyone. Just keep your mind open and enjoy this most amazing side to our lives.

[Beverley Sims]

No, not necessarily gay maybe a bit of fantasy creeps in there.
Keep it to yourself like others do and there is no harm.
You are likely to grow out of it and find other adventures.

[Lynn Marie]

I like what Suzy said. She's pretty smart.

Have fun, explore everything, be safe. If men give you a rise, you're probably gay, if not, you're not. Don't over think things.

[Gillian Gigs]

In another post it was said that we will go through different stages in our CDing. It sounds to me like you are into the fetish stage at this time. To confirm this, ask yourself this question, "how long do you remain dressed after your explosion"? Most in the fetish stage can't get out of the clothes fast enough, or the desire for the clothes is gone immediately after the event. So, don't beat up yourself over it. Most of your fantasies will lean towards what your orientation is, and it sounds like straight to me. Many of us started out this way, the fetish stage, and the stages shifted over the years to where each of us are now. Oh to be young again.

One last thought, if you get serious with some girl, before it goes too far, tell her about your habits. If you loose her, you loose her, better to find a CD friendly spouse, as CDers rarely give up their habits permanently. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are any different from the rest of us...you're more than likely not!

[Lacyfem]

I'm a bit older than you but when I started at 10 I was always sexually aroused but without thoughts of a man or a women. It was just a feeling when putting on a bra and panty I guess that was so forbidden that it was exciting. As I progressed through life my dressing was surpressed but when I could I did and still got sexually aroused and considered myself herterosexual. However, around 10 years ago I found myself dressing and wanting to be attractive to a man. I guess if I was it would be the ultimate compliment to me being a woman. Eventually, I acted on this feeling and the action of being with a man confirmed how much I loved being a woman and that this feeling if I look back was always in me and I never let it out. Yes, and being with the men I've been with has been enjoyable and my sexual feelings were and are no longer just from the dressing but for the feeling of looking good for a man to want me emotionally and sexually.

[ChristinaXOXO]

@Gillian, I shortly undress after the release and yes, I will definitely let my SO know about my closeted CD habits. I've always been trying to run away from this and force myself to be more masculine over the past few years. I've always asked myself why do I desire the need to CD and it irks me because I can't answer the question. Trying to suppress my CD on and off didn't work at all. God knows how many times I've purged and try to quit CDing and in the end I just end up coming back to it.

@Lacy, so are you saying you wanted to explore your femininity more by being with a man? How did it feel when you thought about it when you went back to being en drab? So it's possible while in enfemme, our sexual orientation changes? But when in drab we are hetero?

Thank you for all your insights on this topic. It's really have answered some of my questions. There's one thing I like to point out as some of you mentioned that "you are what you are." Could someone please go more depth with me on this? I don't know if it's just me but my CDing and drab are completely different personalities.

[Diversity]

This may be an over-simplistic, reply, but since you said you are a straight CD, then I'd say you are a male when you fantasize about women when you are dressed en femme. Only the clothes are different - that's all.
When you are dressed en femme and are fantasizing about having sex with a male, then I'd say you may have bisexual tendencies. If you acted upon those fantasies, then you may be bisexual. I wouldn't necessarily say you are bisexual if it was a one-time, curious experience. You could then be only exploring your sexual being. If you repeated this, then I'd say you are bisexual, since you are also a straight CD.
Either way, I'd say you should enjoy your journey and learn what you can about yourself. Be safe, and do your best not to hurt the feelings of loved ones.
That's my view - hope it is helpful to you in some way. Good luck!
Di

[ChristinaXOXO]

@Diversity, Thanks for your input!

[Candice Mae]

The way I look at it is until you have SRS, you are still male. Then wanting to have sex with a woman still means that you are heterosexual, sex with women and men is bisexual, and sex with only men means you are homosexual. The clothing you wear or the mind games in your head does not change your gender or sexuality. Granted there is some grey area when transitioning, but for CD's the above applies. Though only my opinion....

[MichelleinEugene]

I feel that if you would like to think of yourself as a lesbian when en femme... go ahead, it could heighten the experience for you. Do you feel like a woman, or identify as a woman when you are dressed? Maybe you are. Don't worry too much about it. If you want to use labels than that is a-ok. Have fun and be safe and respectful with your partners and whatever you do it great! Life is too short to worry about fitting into boxes that nobody fits into anyway.

[Sheelah]

Well said!

[mary something]

Does this make me a lesbian during enfemme? And if I wanted to have sex with a man while enfemme would I be considered gay or bisexual?

Love ChristinaXOXO~

When you are in girl mode and desire a woman do you want to be intimate with her the way a man is or the way a woman is? If you feel uncomfortable using that part of your anatomy in that way and find that it feels "normal" or congruent to pretend it isn't there then perhaps you are a lesbian.

As for sex with a man while in girl mode is it a faceless nameless man who has simply the role of man so you can fulfill the role of woman? Or is it Brad or Joe or someone specific that you have the hots for? If it is someone specific then you're at least bisexual, if it's simply a proxy phantom in your head so that you can feel more feminine then you're probably heterosexual but need to feel that you're feminine more than your current expression is allowing and thus the fantasy happens.

Try not to worry so much about the labels. What is important is finding out what you need to be happy and fulfilled in your life, not so much being worried about labels enough that it would hinder your growth as a person.

Sexuality is an aspect of identity. It is one of the prime components of identity and if someone has a gender that doesn't fit neatly into their biological box then the real need for expression of ourselves can be confusing when we try to figure out our sexuality. Males that are gay are attracted to masculinity enough that they will be fantasizing about a specific person typically and it doesn't matter whether they are in girl or boy mode to feel this attraction.

[Tracii G]

From all you said you sound like a heterosexual CDer nothing more.
Remember just because you CD does not mean you are gay or that it will make you gay.
Gender and sexual preference are two different things.
At your age its normal to wonder and fantasize about things,you are dealing with raging hormones right now.
Just have fun and explore your sexuality we all have done it trust me, its called growing up.

[ChristinaXOXO]

@Candice. Although you may be partially right but what if a lady boy wanted to have sex with a woman or is sexually attractive to women? Would it then be considered a homosexual act? If yes, then isn't it the same thing if a CDer was under the impression or illusion that she is absolutely completely female and is sexually attractive to women? Again, you may be partially right on the clothing you wear or the mind games in your head doesn't change your gender or sexuality but I disagree to some extent. For some CDers there is a different persona when in enfemme so it's possible you're gender or sexuality can change. The persona is so strong that they believe, they are a women but have no desire to "actually" be a women.

@Michelle. Yes, I really feel like a woman and probably identify myself as a woman when I am dressed. Thanks for your insight

@Mary. When I'm in girl mode and desiring a women, I want to be intimate with her the way a woman is. I do somewhat feel a little uncomfortable using that part of my anatomy. A better way to put is while I'm in enfemme I am sexually attracted to women. But then there's this underlying thought that I am also attracted to trans women, attractive CDers, and lady boys. I am also attracted to them when in drab. So again, I am confused with my sexual orientation.

As for having intercourse with a man while in girl mode. It's probably to fulfill the role of a women or a outlying fantasy. I strongly believe I'm not bisexual. You're probably spot on with the proxy phantom in my head. It probably wouldn't hinder my growth as a person but I am just curious about other people's opinion. As for the labels it's probably hard for me to not worry about it. The questions that I have asked were remained dormant for a really long time so probably the thoughts of labels are quite strong.

Thank you for all your inputs!

Christina.

[ChristinaXOXO]

From all you said you sound like a heterosexual CDer nothing more.
Remember just because you CD does not mean you are gay or that it will make you gay.

At the really early stages (around 15-18) of my CD that's what I was under the impression of. Thank you for you advice Tracii

Christina.

[Candice Mae]

@Candice. Although you may be partially right but what if a lady boy wanted to have sex with a woman or is sexually attractive to women? Would it then be considered a homosexual act? If yes, then isn't it the same thing if a CDer was under the impression or illusion that she is absolutely completely female and is sexually attractive to women? Again, you may be partially right on the clothing you wear or the mind games in your head doesn't change your gender or sexuality but I disagree to some extent. For some CDers there is a different persona when in enfemme so it's possible you're gender or sexuality can change. The persona is so strong that they believe, they are a women but have no desire to "actually" be a women.
Christina.

Gender is defined by sexual organs of the person, gender can only change if those are changed. If you put a cat in a dog costume it is still a cat.... If I believe in my mind that I am a cat, I'm still human nothing changes. Fantasy Vs. reality there is a huge difference...

As much as I would like to be a GG, thinking I'm one won't make it happen...

Sexuality intern is determined by which gender you are attracted to, the gender of the people infolded determines their sexuality.

[ChristinaXOXO]

@Candice. True gender is defined by sexual organs of the person. The cat analogy really doesn't fit in my opinion. Gender can also be defined by changes in, presentation and sexual identity change your behaviour and therefore your personality can change. Gender is not a specific trait but a collection of traits (appearance, deportment, mannerisms, moses of interpersonal interactions) based on social conventions. They are largely symbolic but personality is largely symbolic anyway. Personalities change. Changing gender is one way to change how you view yourself and how others view you.

Now, if you still rightfully think gender is defined by sexual organs of the person and gender can only change if those are changed. How would you define a lady boy who has no intentions of SRS, but has the persona and intention of becoming a female only with the exception of having a male genitalia. This is just a possible realistic example. It could be the same for a CDer minus the intention of SRS and becoming a female.

Christina.