has anyone else had problems meeting other CD girls? I would love to get to know other girls that have this same lifestyle but it always seems like there are so many problems with meeting like minded girls.
has anyone else had problems meeting other CD girls? I would love to get to know other girls that have this same lifestyle but it always seems like there are so many problems with meeting like minded girls.
I have not had a hard time, it just took time. I have met several ladies from this site, another site and then through some meet up groups and word of mouth. The taking time part requires continual pro activity to put yourself in situations where you can meet someone. The people that you first meet may not be the ones who become your friends or maybe even not good acquaintances. However, they may introduce you to others who could be. Keep networking and putting yourself out there. And by putting yourself out there, that does not mean dressed as a woman. There is no reason that you cannot meet in drab more than once before you ever meet dressed en femme. Good luck and it does work.
I was out with some friends on Friday night at a bar in San Diego which caters to a quite diverse crowd. A very cute CD'er from Taiwan was there alone and she joined our little group. Turns out she was supposed to meet someone there who apparently chickened out for whatever reason. Needless to say, I was not surprised in the least bit. There are many out there who have dreams of grandeur when it comes to stepping out into the real world but when it's time for the heels to hit the pavement, they back out. I cannot count the number of times I've heard of such stories. Fortunately, it has only happened to me once.
All that said, keep talking to people in these pages and also look for support groups or alternative lifestyle venues in your area. Once you have made friends, whether those from within our community or otherwise, you will truly know a richness that can only be dreamed of by many who refuse to set foot into this wonderful world of ours.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
It is hard to meet many of us because we are not "out" to the general public for a variety of reasons, respect for our families wishes among others. The internet is wonderful, this site is great, but many of us are very cautious for good reason
Find a GLBT or GLSO branch in your area.I'm sure there is a support group for CD's close to you.
You have to make an effort to find them, maybe get your self out into the scene.
I have contacted a few on a different sites for a meet up and they always back out at the last minute for some reason.
Sure you can be nervous about it but just do it.You might actually have fun.
I especially check for posts with my city in the title.
Maybe that's a search engine that could be attached to this site one day?
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
I some what agree it is hard. for two reasons.
1. my wife does not approve, its very hard to have a time to get away.
2. I'm selective about who I want to be seen with when dressed, I don't want to be made as a guy in a dress.
I'd rather be with a GG or a transgender that looks like a woman.
I'd love the friendship and chat or to meet where it doesn't matter if we are made.. but when I can get out usually there are no transgender type events.
We belong to the most secret of secret societies, one in which we usually don't even acknowledge our membership to other members!
That being said, I have met people through this forum and through other TG organizations. One thing leads to another and soon I found myself with many TG friends. Last night I was at a dinner at a steakhouse in downtown Los Angeles with 15 other people, about 10 of whom were TG. Three of those I had met through my electrologist and the remainder through a CDing club that I joined a few years ago. Like any social group, we tend to meet friends of friends and find that we have a lot in common with them.
The opportunities are out there for those who are willing to reach out and embrace them.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
A lot of us are not out in the public yet. Sierra I know it is tougher to find CDs in the western states. I would have to travel about two and half hours to feel really safe to San Antonio. But I thought for sure that there would be several in the Albuquerque area.
It is all about connections. Once connected, there are all kinds of things going on. When I started, my wife said when it comes to make-up, you are on your own. Green light. I made an appointment for a make over. It was for a Wednesday night. The make over artist has had such an interesting life. It was enjoyable just talking with her. She is tied in with a local t-girl social club and sponsors a monthly get together at her place. She did me up and sent me on my way to meet the girls who were out at one of the downtown bars shooting pool and dancing. They also invited me to the Comedy Club the following Saturday night.
The girls have 3 to 5 standard events per week. The last event I attended a couple of weeks ago, there were probably 25-30 girls at the Comedy Club, three sets of tables. The group always gets the same wait staff. They love the group. The comic posted pictures on her and the girls on her web site when she was in town the time before. Someone in the group has special events, Halloween party is always a big hit, a couple of Thanksgiving Dinner, a Winter Gala, a day on the range, Prom night, etc.
Find businesses that cater to the t-girl community and ask them to point you in the right direction.
I had a friend that lived in Albequerque, that was involved with several lgbt organizations there. Best bet, just type your request into the search engine. A good start could be "gay pride, Albequerque", or "transgender, Albequerque". It's a big city, so I'm sure there's more groups there. Perhaps try Tri-ess. Good luck,
Leah
Be nice; It don't cost nothing.
Sierra,
Establish yourself here get to know others and eventually the right opportunity will come along.
Some of the monthly meetings such as Tri Ess might be in order.
Go to the meeting place and see what events are coming up.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Yes I feel your pain. I go through the same thoughts
Sierra, I hear ya. You have to simply hit people up and ask. I've tried finding a chat channel or meetup group, but most of those are folks looking for sex, not conversation. I've met up with someone through here once, we went out to lunch in drab and had a great time. I keep trying to catch nearby folks, although I'm always about 2.5 hours from anyone near me.
Yes! Eat your heart out Austin!Originally Posted by Jaylyn
I don't think there is a Tri-Ess chapter in ABQ, but I guarantee there are groups that get together for girls' night out (GNO) and maybe there are support groups. Try searching Yahoo! user groups and avoid anything that looks too shady.
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
Some of us like their privacy.
The internet is a scary place to meet people, and although there is a group for CDs in my area but their all around 10-15+ years older then me. I also don't have much interest in hanging out with other CD's.
Little Miss. Reason
Just everyday... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYhlRYKMfAc
A Journey 2011-2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?lv=Ikji9DMaeVA
Want better looking Cleavage? http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ial&highlight=
LOL
Really? I won't say what I want to say, but suffice to say, that attitude is not okay.
I have just opened myself up
I wish you all the best in the road ahead of you
you didn't quote my whole reason, its the way I feel and I was being honest.. my area is not very excepting.
to quote myself: I'd love the friendship and chat or to meet where it doesn't matter if we are made.. but when I can get out usually there are no transgender type events.
Carpe Noctem
Cheyenne Hyde
"You may never exceed, your own expectations, of yourself"
http://s46.photobucket.com/user/MsHyde2u/library/
(the password is feminine)
Its funny because I have met several crossdressers at places I've worked but I have never opened up to them about myself. Mostly because I worry that if I do, they will tell others and turn it into a big deal.
I think its hard because many say they want to meet up and then they chicken out for what ever reason...valid or invalid of a variety of reasons. We are sort of in a secret society, but most likely they really are not ready. We are out there...it just takes time and effort and it is very rewarding meeting others. I say find a GLBT or trans group...you might have to drive a bit...
I am 47 and have yet to meet a single sole.
I live in Ontario.
It could be that I go to the wrong places. But what is a wrong place.
Yes it's true I do not go to bars at all any more, but I don't like going to bars. I stopped going in my late 20s.
I would just love to meet some nice CD ladies...
We can also be a fickle bunch. Some of the experienced CD's loose interest in trying to arrange events, parties get togethers because of the lack of commitment from others that say they want to come but don't show and don't want to part their money upfront with the RVSP events.
You also have to look the part when you hang with them as some of the "good looking" ones don't want you around if you're not looking up to par to a certain degree.
I can also be the same way.... If you want to go to a mainstream place with me then you have to try and fit in, I will tell anybody up front I won't go out with someone that wears a sissy dress, 6" PVC boots, a 10 dollar pink wig or a beard with their looks unless its at a fetish party.
The obstacles to getting out and making CD girlfriends are legion. SO's, beards, only underdressing, fetishes, hairy arms and knuckles, it just goes on and on. It all boils down to fear and a lack of confidence to go out and make friends! Even CDs who have been dressing and going out for years often have trouble making friends.
My advice? Develop your look to being presentable in public. Be willing to meet other CDs from the forum. Be willing to go to LGBT friendly clubs. Be reliable, not a flake. And most importantly face your own fears, be bold, and confident in who and what you are.
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
U didn't mention WHY u want to meet other dressers, Sierra. To meet for lunch, shopping, and get your nails done? Go out clubbing? Or, maybe for something more intimate and personal?
Personally, I've never had an interest in meeting someone for the first time, dressed, just the 2 of us in private or in a vanilla public venue. Meeting out at nite in a T friendly venue is quite a different matter.
Having met quite a number of nearby girls that enjoy getting together on Tgirl nites at a club, I now feel comfortable meeting and going out with some individually to vanilla places day or nite. They can go dressed, me not, and both of us r comfortable.
To be able to do that, I needed to feel comfortable with the girl. Which required seeing her over and over with no stress or expectations at parties, Tgirl dinners, or clubs. Meeting someone u don't know out, set up for just the 2 of u, can be very uncomfortable! I don't feel that is a good way to acquire a friend u wish to hang out with, with no strings.
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 11-18-2013 at 01:13 PM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
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