It's important to remember u represent an entire community when u go out.

[docrobbysherry]

Just wondered what everyone thinks about that statement? Someone posted it in another thread.

I have been going out dressed a lot recently and have my opinion. But, I think I'll see what others have to say first!

[Tracii G]

I agree Sherry.

[Eryn]

I tend to agree with it. I always try to be on my best behavior when I am out. I may or may not be recognized as TG, but if I am I want to be a polite, classy TG.

[KayleeTaylor]

In any community, it's important to think of the whole community. The choices that an individual makes can and will affect us all.

[AllieSF]

Be yourself when you go out, make your decisions and live with the consequences. The world is too big to worry about one person's actions and how they may or may not affect everyone else. I say that because soon we will hear from the dress your age, dress appropriately, don't dress like a slob, which for many people is comfort dressing, and then who gets to set those artificial and unenforceable rules that everyone should live by. We have people who already dress and present themselves as they wish who are not even transgendered, and I never hear from anyone that they are setting a bad example for women, men, Catholics, northerners or southerners. It really is no big deal. Each of us have to live our own lives, own it and deal with the obstacles that we encounter without looking to blame someone else why we are not accepted nor tolerated. All for what it is worth, which for many here may be nothing.

[Marcelle]

On a fundamental level I agree that we (the community writ large) should strive to provide a positive image of TG gals so we can gain greater acceptance. However, I am not convinced this has so much to do with clothing as it does with interaction. Rather than getting too hung up on short skits, stiletto pumps and crop tops, I think the messaging should be smile and normalize. Heck if a GG dressed provocatively, people would still stare and whisper (I've seen this) but if the interaction is pleasant and person is gracious then it becomes a non-event. More of an "each to their own".

When I go out dressed, I hold no illusion that people know I am a guy and while my clothing may be subdued and more mainstream (jeans, tops, boots, coat), the opinion about me is still there regardless of how I am dressed. However, if I run over to every person who gives me a snide look and "rip a strip off them" people around me are likely to think . . . crazy tranny regardless of how good I look. So I prefer to normalize the event, smile and move on. I think this becomes a non-event and if I were dressed like I was going clubbing, the same would most likely happen.

In the end, I think as a community we should strive to be "good people", interact kindly, help others and just be a nice person . . . wait a minute shouldn't we be doing that as guys also?

My two cents

Hugs

Isha

[Jeanna]

People of Walmart comes to mind, in that perspective I gotta say yes.

[Kate Simmons]

I have no control over the entire community. I can only control my own personal actions.

[Nadine Spirit]

When I go out, I represent myself. I work hard to be a good person, because it is important to me that I am a good human being, not just a good CD.

But unfortunately it is unavoidable that the vast majority of folks will judge all of us based upon one of us, because often they will only ever meet one of us, if they meet any of us. Thus by default we represent all of us when we go out. We can all say we hate this, but it is pretty difficult to change basic human behaviors that at least 90% of humanity exhibit.

But yet again, this is just my never to be humble opinion.

[Candice Mae]

I tend to agree with it. I always try to be on my best behavior when I am out. I may or may not be recognized as TG, but if I am I want to be a polite, classy TG.

I agree that attitude and your actions often means more then how you look.

[Danni Renee]

I hate to say it but it is true, and not just in this community. I have learned that in my career for sure, over and over, and it applies in many other areas. For example, look at the opinions people have of people from West Virginia (my home), or Alabama, or California. People in or from those states do things and others look at is a representation of everyone from that state. It is absolutely not a fair statement but it is true.

Danni

[Rachel Flowers]

I think the statement is unfortunate. Yes we can appeal to people who are placed in the same category as us to behave in a manner that is less likely to reinforce negative stereotypes on us, that makes sense. But we can't enforce it and we can't judge others. To do so is the ultimate hypocrisy from us, because here we are saying "I know I belong to the community called genital males, but my personal position is that I am x% female so i have to express myself in this way or I will go insane." For us to turn around and say "Now you're one of us, you have to conform to a particular standard so that w***ers with TV shows stop mocking us" is simply imposing the kind of homogeneity on transgendered people that society is trying to impose on everyone with its artificial concept of two mutually exclusive genders.

Some crossdressers are respectable ladies, some are wild party girls, some are quiet stay-at-homers, some are drag queens and tranny ****s. (Women cover that range too.) None of us can do other than be ourselves, and that includes me, pedantically pointing out that this isn't a debate knowing full well you will all be yourselves and have that debate anyway! It's no different from the debate journalists are trying to stir up among women about Miss Cyrus "setting a bad example for girls". We all behave as we are. If you go out and you behave well and you don't get read, you're nto representing TVs, you're representing women. If more well-behaved crossdressers were more visible, (ironically) we could change public perception. The naughty girls are the ones who get noticed, isn't that obvious?

(All said in love and sisterly affection, I must add!)

[Gillian Gigs]

We all want freedom of expression, to have the ability to dress as we wish and go where we wish to go. With freedom comes responsibility, and too many are not willing to take up the responsibility that comes with freedom. The very name of this thread is saying exactly that to me, are you willing to be responsible? As someone once said, "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance", to be vigilant is to be watchful, especially to avoid danger. In a society that doesn't approve of a lot of our behaviors, we need to exercise a little more watchfullness and act an little more responsibly. I see the quickest road to acceptance as being line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little there a little. The route to rejection is paved with someone getting into anothers face, and doing something stupid.

[Bria]

I live in a large metro area and to my knowledge I have never seen a cd out in public, now that may mean that I'm not very observent, but if I saw only one, then I would assume that others of the group are similar because I have no other information. Soooo, those of us who do go out (I don't at the point) do become a representive of the group whether we like it or not, to those who may see us. That being said, I like Lorileah's recollection of her mother's admonition, "you represent yourself". I would like to think that my mother although she is deceased would always approve of my behaviour, if not the clothes I wore!

Lorileah, I did see a television news interview about the local vigil on Nov 20 for the TG day of rememberence. The person interviewed was a epresentive of the group and was presenting as female. Although not identified as TG or TS I would assume that that was the case based on facial apprearance and voice. The interview was very professional only presenting the facts of the alarming number of murders around the world particulary in Brazil!

My two cents, Bria

[AmyGaleRT]

Those that dissent from the opinion that "we are representatives of our community" are right in one respect; neither I nor anyone else can control how they choose to present themselves when they go out. We can attempt to persuade; we cannot force any action.

However, we also cannot control the opinions of those cisgendered folks that may see us and draw conclusions from our appearance and behavior. And, while it may be fun to go wild and "freak the mundanes" (to use a term from science-fiction fandom), such actions may color people's attitudes negatively even towards those of us who are trying hard to blend or pass, and not draw undue attention to themselves. This is not a judgment on the actions of any CD that does so. This is a statement of the way things are.

The only one I can control is myself. And, for myself, I choose to try and set a good example on behalf of my sisters as well as myself. (I believe that at least part of why I was tapped to be our Meetup group's event organizer, is because I do set a good example. I infer that I must be doing something right.)

- Amy

[kimdl93]

I do feel that I have to consider how I present myself. I know I won't pass - at best hope to either blend in somewhat, and when the inevitable happens, I hope that people will see me as someone who presents self assured and comfortable with being who I am.

[Julie Gaum]

Much as I want to agree with Sherry it just isn't realistic. While many just want to pass at least from a distance, a few strive to and do pass up close, I have seen posts on this Forum of those who go out wearing a beard and a dress, don't wear a wig and have short unstyled hair or no makeup or "any gender" clothes and so on. Others pass at a distance but everyone knows of their true gender --- are accepted in their town and are confident, comfortable and contented --- and we all say "You have a perfect right to present in any manner you choose". Does
that kind of diversity further our cause? Does it help an unitiated unlooker understand what is a crossdresser? I don't know of one answer that would satisfy everyone in this wide spectrum --- wish there were.
Julie

[RenneB]

In my neck of the woods, most GG's and GM's don't 'pass' for their own gender. I feel like I have to go find a pair of SpongeBob square pants yellow pajamas, clogs, and a red non-matching sweatshirt and mess up my hair to blend in. That's actually an outfit I saw today at the market. It was a mom with four rather well dressed school kids.

I won't even get to the weight issue because I believe that no matter what your size or shape, there are still stylish clothing choices that anyone can make to look good. I swear I should call the fashion police, but then this town would be truly vacant.

I saw, no matter what gender you want to present as, try your best. If you want your outfit to say "hay look at me", then have at it. But don't complain with people stop, stare, and take videos of you to post. Me, I prefer to blend in both genders. I dress well for office work and dress well to go shopping. Even if I'm working on the lawn and have to make a trip to the store for a part, I'll change out of the sweats for something more presentable....

Just my thoughts.....

Renne.....

[Lucy_Bella]

Julie ,
You are so right with what you said...What is representing anyways? Everyone say's we do not have labels but then threads like this come up .. Shall we all be clean shaven when we go out? Should we all dress a certain style ? It's not possible and for us to have no labels the expectations are set pretty high to fit under one umbrella..If I was the type who loved going "out" I wouldn't care to follow any unwritten rules on how I should go out..Rather just be myself ..No phun to the O.P. or anyone who doesn't agree with me ..

[Jean 103]

One man doesn't necessarily represent all men. To live life constantly worrying what others think....well. There will always be some people out side the norm. Who defines it? Just live your life as you wish as it is your life, and I will live mine

[Rachelakld]

When those boys were giving me grief the other weekend, I really wanted to take the fight to them, then I thought about YouTube and my sisters on this forum, so being a lady I returned to my seat after a polite chat to them.

[NathalieX66]

One reason I dress to fit in when I go out is so the general public can learn to accept us without people feeling threatened. It may not be 7 inch stillettoes and miniskirts, but it still rocks!

[Jilmac]

I think as a whole we are on our best behavior when out and about. Speaking for myself, I always try my best to make a good impression on people. I have been on several group outings with other CD and trans girls and in many cases we have acted more ladylike than some GGs

[Nikki A.]

I do think that I do represent our community when I go out.
Whether I pass or not is not a concern to me. But I do try to look my best and I do get complemented on my appearance. Classy, not trashy or flashy.

[Princess Chantal]

I believe that the statement is B.S..
Should I as a person who treats crossdressing as recreation really be expected to be representing someone with GID and vice versa?