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Thread: It's important to remember u represent an entire community when u go out.

  1. #26
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Doc,
    I tend to agree with you there, but there are those that seek freedom of expression and their values are quite different.
    I like to enjoy appearing like a woman and pass.
    It does not always happen.

    Looking through the threads from others, lets not get into arguments trying to express ourselves, tread lightly and get your message across.
    This could be a good discussion.
    Don't wake up the mods, they may be inclined to close it.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  2. #27
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    If we as a community wish to gain the acceptance of the general public then it is a very important thing to remember.
    As with other groups, it's always the ones that stand out for the wrong reasons that are remembered the most, like those bikers in NY that assaulted the family in the SUV.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  3. #28
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    How interesting is it that nearly all put most of their emphasis on appearance for representing a positive respect for the transgender community. Eryn focused on behavior in her post. I believe that behavior and actions have more positive impact for representation of a person.

  4. #29
    Gone to live my life
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    On a fundamental level I agree that we (the community writ large) should strive to provide a positive image of TG gals so we can gain greater acceptance. However, I am not convinced this has so much to do with clothing as it does with interaction. Rather than getting too hung up on short skits, stiletto pumps and crop tops, I think the messaging should be smile and normalize. Heck if a GG dressed provocatively, people would still stare and whisper (I've seen this) but if the interaction is pleasant and person is gracious then it becomes a non-event. More of an "each to their own".

    When I go out dressed, I hold no illusion that people know I am a guy and while my clothing may be subdued and more mainstream (jeans, tops, boots, coat), the opinion about me is still there regardless of how I am dressed. However, if I run over to every person who gives me a snide look and "rip a strip off them" people around me are likely to think . . . crazy tranny regardless of how good I look. So I prefer to normalize the event, smile and move on. I think this becomes a non-event and if I were dressed like I was going clubbing, the same would most likely happen.

    In the end, I think as a community we should strive to be "good people", interact kindly, help others and just be a nice person . . . wait a minute shouldn't we be doing that as guys also?

    My two cents

    Hugs

    Isha

  5. #30
    Girl Inside Jeanna's Avatar
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    People of Walmart comes to mind, in that perspective I gotta say yes.

  6. #31
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I have no control over the entire community. I can only control my own personal actions.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  7. #32
    Member Rachel Flowers's Avatar
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    I think the statement is unfortunate. Yes we can appeal to people who are placed in the same category as us to behave in a manner that is less likely to reinforce negative stereotypes on us, that makes sense. But we can't enforce it and we can't judge others. To do so is the ultimate hypocrisy from us, because here we are saying "I know I belong to the community called genital males, but my personal position is that I am x% female so i have to express myself in this way or I will go insane." For us to turn around and say "Now you're one of us, you have to conform to a particular standard so that w***ers with TV shows stop mocking us" is simply imposing the kind of homogeneity on transgendered people that society is trying to impose on everyone with its artificial concept of two mutually exclusive genders.

    Some crossdressers are respectable ladies, some are wild party girls, some are quiet stay-at-homers, some are drag queens and tranny ****s. (Women cover that range too.) None of us can do other than be ourselves, and that includes me, pedantically pointing out that this isn't a debate knowing full well you will all be yourselves and have that debate anyway! It's no different from the debate journalists are trying to stir up among women about Miss Cyrus "setting a bad example for girls". We all behave as we are. If you go out and you behave well and you don't get read, you're nto representing TVs, you're representing women. If more well-behaved crossdressers were more visible, (ironically) we could change public perception. The naughty girls are the ones who get noticed, isn't that obvious?

    (All said in love and sisterly affection, I must add!)
    hugs for everyone!
    Rachel x

  8. #33
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post
    To the average Joe and Jane there is no difference between recreational CDers and people with GID. All groups should promote a positive image simply for our own mutual self-interest.
    Exactly!!And they don't know what is in your panties unless you tell them!
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  9. #34
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    CDers with a strong feminine identity who dress to express their femininity and blend in public do not represent me. As an over-the-top dresser who occasionally goes out but mostly stays home, I do not represent other CDers. I expect good behavior from everyone at all times, CDer or not, and people should be held personally responsible for their actions. Unfortunately, there are many here who consider bad behavior going out dressed to a different standard as themselves.
    While they jump on the "there's no right or wrong way to CD", they don't really believe it, taking cheap shots at those who like to express themselves by wearing six inch heels and miniskirts.
    The reasons we are driven to dress and the way we express those drives are so diverse, there really is no "community" here. So in my opinion, Doc, the premise of the question is invalid.

  10. #35
    Member Paula DAngelo's Avatar
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    As I read through the responses to the original post I started noticing a common theme among many of the replies, that we do need to remember that we are representing a larger group. While I agree that this is true there is a second issue which I think that this type of thinking ignores, before we represent the group, we first represent ourselves. Which of the two thoughts is more important, should we worry about representing the group, or the individual? I know a lot of people are of the belief that the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the one. This is where I have to differ. If we put the needs of the group ahead of the individual are we any different than the rest of the world who look at us and decide that there is something wrong with a person because they don't "measure up"? Personally I try to put forth a good image and have appropriate attire for where and what I'm doing, and hopefully that does present a good image for the whole group. However I'm not doing that because I am worried about representing the group, but because I'm representing myself. So I guess what I'm trying to say is first we have to worry about representing who we are, and if that goes along with the image that the group wants to present great, and if not, then so be it.

  11. #36
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    It's important to remember u represent an entire community when u go out.

    thats not what i am thinking when i go out ... most of the time i go alone because in the past a few tras/cders get half in the bag and try to be fem or get their sexy on huge side show not my thing..... if i go out its abought going out to enjoy.... i have had encounters some good some bad.... but i go as myselfe not to be a side show so that probly dose going out to enjoy represent an entire community..........

  12. #37
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    That's true for any group or culture.

  13. #38
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    I think this statement made by Doc is very true. Anytime someone sees one of us in public it leaves an impression of some kind or another. I always try to look my very best and dress for my age unless I'm going out to a glamour/drag event or costume party wearing a long ball gown etc. I feel dressing the best I can makes it easier for someone to approach me, maybe ask questions if they want to and maybe, maybe I can shed a little bit of light to that person about what we do and change that person's view point.

    If I'm dressed with belly shirts, tight shorts, PVC boots and have a beard then people might not be so inclined to engage me and worse case leave them impression in someone's head that we're all just a bunch of creepo's.

  14. #39
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    One man doesn't necessarily represent all men. To live life constantly worrying what others think....well. There will always be some people out side the norm. Who defines it? Just live your life as you wish as it is your life, and I will live mine

  15. #40
    Senior Member robindee36's Avatar
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    My preference would be to not take on the mantle of representing anything. Much prefer to fly under the radar, blend in and, at last resort, present as a cute CD. Barring achievement of the first two, guess I will be on best behavior. But then am I always not on best behavior

    Hugs, Robin

  16. #41
    The non-GG next door.... Candice Mae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post
    I tend to agree with it. I always try to be on my best behavior when I am out. I may or may not be recognized as TG, but if I am I want to be a polite, classy TG.
    I agree that attitude and your actions often means more then how you look.

  17. #42
    Aspiring Member Sarah Beth's Avatar
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    I don't think that statement was intended to mean that every cder who goes out needs to dress the same and the act same. The fact is that all of us in this group get labeled by what is seen in the various media and the stories that go around. Just look what you come up with when you do a web search for crossdressers, a lot of it is purely pronographic. I believe that what is being said here is that the overall appearance and attitude presented should be one that would not lead to further criticism of the group as a whole.

    That being said if you look around plenty of people out there try to make a statement about the "group" they belong to. Tattoos and piercings, what they drive etc. and a lot of other people look at them and don't like what they see. It's a fact that not everyone is going to accept everyone else no matter what lifestyle they persue. You just have to make a decision about what you as individual want to represent and live with your own actions.
    "It takes all kinds of kinds" Miranda Lambert
    Now some point a finger and let ignorance linger
    If they'd look in the mirror they'd find.
    That ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
    It takes all kinds of kinds.

  18. #43
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    Like it or not this is how those outside of our community often times form their views and opinions. This applies to any segment outside the common view of the norm. I think that as along as we are reasonably considerate of those around us we are OK. Even the example of the obvious CD in Sears probably adhered to this concept. She didn't act obnoxious or confrontational and although she didn't present well in the opinions of those around her she just did her thing. I would hope I don't appear that way.
    Another example of how I apply my rule is to usually call a women's clothing store in advance of my arrival so as not to make them or myself feel uncomfortable. I personally wish to go where i'm welcomed.
    In closing I do see the contrary view as having valid points but this is how I try to conduct myself.

  19. #44
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Sherry this board is only a small sampling of TG people. When I go out I try my best to look good and blend.

    I can't and won't try to control what others do, only what I do.

  20. #45
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Sorry, I don't want to represent you are anyone else, I choose to march to my own drum beat thank you, and have enough trouble representing myself.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  21. #46
    Part time CD girl Lexi Moralas's Avatar
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    I think in any community there are always groups with in the group. I think we as CDs are just as diverse as GGs and personalities and interests will stretch from one extreme to the other. There will be girls who dress and act very conservatively and others who will spend there time at the adult theater dressed like a hooker. And I think that's fine,to each there own. I don't think that anyone of us is responsible to maintain a certain image for the sake of someone else. If that were the case we should all just stick to men's cloths because that's what the public at large would except. I think all the same rules that would apply to a GG. Should apply to a CD. To me that's kind of the point of the whole thing. I know what CDing is about for me. And I know and accept that it may be about something totally different for another girl. To me the whole point of this forum is to have a community where all CDs can come together and support one another and escape the pressure and general BS. From the outside world likes to force on us. I think is we push our own vision of CDing on the group as a whole we are no better than the vanilla crowd that would look down on us from the outside

  22. #47
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Doc, the statement is NEVER true. If you want to see just how untrue it is, apply it to other groups (Blacks, Jews, Gays, Asians) and you will see that it is this kind of collectivist thinking that motivates racism, sexism, homophobia, nationalism, & etc. The so-called "transgender community" is nothing but an abstraction. If that abstraction were to be used against me to deny me my right to to express myself as I see fit, then the "transgender community" is my enemy the same as the bigots they hope to placate. Luckily, I'm a closet case so I really have no dog in this fight.

  23. #48
    Girls just wanna have fun heidi99's Avatar
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    Isha and lilSissyStevie both have it right.

    For me, cross-dressing represents a means of expressing another side of my being. Remember the days before the Internet when we (most of us) thought we were the only ones who were this way? The Internet brought freedom and the realization that we are definitely not alone, and that it's OK to be different. It would be a travesty to use this same freeing mechanism to enforce some notion of group-think for the "collective good" of the community. The people who judge based on clothes are unlikely to ever to come around to accepting how we are. Concentrating on being the best PERSON you can be (whether male, female, or in between) is a much more laudable goal to have.

    Another interesting aspect of this thread is that input is coming from people from many nations where different life approaches are acceptable. As an American, it is part of our nature to crave freedom in expressing ourselves. I accept that people from different cultures may have different approaches to life than I do, and that is cool. And isn't that the whole point? Granting acceptance to someone else AS THEY ARE gives us hope that the same will be granted to us. My two cents.
    Heidi99

  24. #49
    Senior Member Jaymees22's Avatar
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    I think it's how you represent yourself and if you do that well the representing of our community should be fine. I try to dress appropriately when going out and pick my battles wisely, in other words avoid battles or confrontation.
    I enjoy being a boy, being a GIRL like me!!!

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    It's important to remember u represent an entire community when u go out.

    Just wondered what everyone thinks about that statement? Someone posted it in another thread.
    I've had this used in this forum as a stick to beat me for what people assumed about my presentation, so, no, I'm not going to go along with it.

    When I go out, however I'm dressed, I try to be a decent human being. That's hard enough (and beyond some people's ability, to judge by some of what I hear and see.)

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