I think I handled this well...

[ShelbyDawn]

I was traveling today and ,as I often do, was partially dressed; completely under-dressed with a nice skirt and male shirt, no makeup or wig.
So I stopped at a roadside fast food place for a drink and while the young man, probably 16 at the most, that brought me my drink was making my change, he obviously noticed how I was dressed. At least I noticed a dramatic change in the look on his face - kind of a curious/surprised look that I am sure a lot of us have seen. So, I ask him "wondering why I'm wearing a skirt?" He replied, a little shyly, "Um, yes sir." I answered, "Well, I think they are comfortable and besides, it would be inappropriate to let people see my panties."

Poor kid almost dropped his tray.
I may have marred him for life. I guess I should be ashamed but I laughed to myself all the way home...



Shelby

[ArleneRaquel]

A lovely & amusing story, thank you for sharing.

[nhlighthouse]

Good for YOU!...sometimes we are better off adding some humor to make our point!

[kittypw GG]

What the heck does wearing a skirt have to do with letting people see your panties. That statement just confirmed that men in skirts are pervs. You should have ignored his shock. You know my niece works at Arie in our home town mall. She says that there are a couple of creepy men who come in with skirts and tube socks just to fondle the underwear. If you want society to accept cross dressers and trans people stop acting like pervs. Be respectful and you will get respect back. I totally didn't think your story was funny in the least.

[KayleeTaylor]

When I said this:

In any community, it's important to think of the whole community. The choices that an individual makes can and will affect us all.

In this thread:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post3356546

The actions of the OP will negatively impact CD's in the area. That teenage kid will tell all his friends about this encounter and it will snowball from there. Especially at the kids' school. For me, crossdressing is about finding peace and happiness with who I am and expressing my feminine side to others and I do that without being an exhibitionist. I would rather have people get to know me so they can try to understand why I dress the way that I do. Most of the time, people are nice to me and considerate of my feelings and I respect them for that. Shelby, you could of handled the situation entirely different.

[RADER]

Cute story; good for you.
Rader

[Michelle789]

I think it's extremely important for us to represent our community well. It's okay to be a dude in a skirt, and it's okay to pass as a woman. It's not okay to start talking about your panties with anyone or be an exhibitionist, not even another dude, not even to another CD.

it would be inappropriate to let people see my panties."

Poor kid almost dropped his tray.
I may have marred him for life. I guess I should be ashamed but I laughed to myself all the way home...

Your comment was completely uncalled for. This kind of behavior is what gives CD, TG, and TS a reputation of being perverts.

Word to the wise. When you're a member of a persecuted group, it's extremely important for us to be on our best behavior to show the world that we deserve respect. When we do things that are disrespectful, perverted, mean, cruel, violent, or engage in any of the sins of the persecuting group, we're allowing the other side to win. If we act no different than the established persecuting group, people are going to side with the persecuting group simply because they are more established than we are.

Sadly, a few members of all persecuted groups are guilty of poor behavior, and ruin it for the entire group.
- Crossdressers who act like perverts and exhibitionists
- Transsexuals who commit violent crimes
- Women who take all their husband's money in a divorce
- Poor people who can't afford a car who jaywalk and think jaywalking is funny
- Members of one minority group who are racist against another minority group

All of the above examples are behavior which fuels bigotry.

As members of a persecuted group, we really, really need to step up our behavior.

Oh, and remember, one person does ruin it for all. Our teachers always told us that in school, and the sad truth is, this holds true in real life.

[Sara Jessica]

This is proof that we should march to our own drummer, that there is no bigger picture, no community to be concerned with.

Or not.

[binx]

Did he nearly drop the tray because you were a man in women's clothes or did he nearly drop it because a customer and person he didn't know offered him a mental picture of them in their underwear without any invitation to do so?

Kudos to you for bravery and willingness to address an obviously confusing situation. (I would have just left it with a casual "I like skirts.") Humor will vary from person to person, but I would take note of the responses you've gotten here.

[Requal Jo]

I agree with the majority of the comments. If we wish to be accepted in life to be able to wear what we choose to wear then we need to set a good example. While confirming the attire is ok, I think it was a little over the top to add the panties comment.

[Jilmac]

Poor kid, but he still may have a lot to learn about life.

[ReineD]

I think it's extremely important for us to represent our community well. It's okay to be a dude in a skirt, and it's okay to pass as a woman. It's not okay to start talking about your panties with anyone or be an exhibitionist, not even another dude, not even to another CD.

My sentiments, exactly.

Why on earth do you get pleasure out of shocking people? Are you craving for attention?

[ShelbyDawn]

Well, certainly not the response I expected but point taken.

[docrobbysherry]

Were u flirting with him, Shelby? Maybe unconsiously? If I were him, I would have thot that.

Personally, I find discussions to do with panties, including on line here, to be unseemly and inappropriate.

[Beverley Sims]

Well I wonder if you were playing with fire there.
Not being there it is difficult to judge the situation.
Whatever floats your boat.

[Cynthia Anne]

I would of loved to had been the fly on the wall! Then I could help judge you and decide weather this was good humor or done in bad taste! Every situation is different!

[Tracii G]

Not touching this one with a 10 foot pole.

[Beverley Sims]

Tracii,
I think I contributed too much to the conversation as well.

[Jackie F]

Well, certainly not the response I expected but point taken.

I agree with you Shelby, however as confused as I have been lately I do see both sides. At the first read I laughed and thought good for you, after reading the comments I do believe the panties where over the top. I guess if we want to be comfortable in the world we have to allow the world to be comfortable with us.

[Keely]

Not touching this one with a 10 foot pole.

or a 6 foot Swede

[linda allen]

You have a right to wear anything you want and a right to say anything you want, but with these rights comes responsibility. Talking about your panties might be OK among friends but it wasn't really called for in this situation. You could have been asked to leave.

It bothers me when crossdressers call attention to themselves in public because it reinforces the immage that crossdressers are perverts. If we want to be accepted or even tolerated, we need to just act like normal people in public.

I don't go out much, but when I do, I'm doing my best at acting and dressing like a woman my age at the place and time of day. I'm not trying to call attention to myself or shock anyone.

So no, I don't think you handled this well.

[CarlaWestin]

Poor kid almost dropped his tray.
I may have marred him for life. I guess I should be ashamed but I laughed to myself all the way home...

Seriously?

[joanna4]

How very interesting

[Sharon B.]

Then you wonder why people think the worst of us.

[Lorileah]

No, you didn't handle it well. You went way over the common courtesy line. He didn't ask why you were in a skirt (and if he did it would have been him over the line) and your underwear comment was just to get a reaction.

What you do in the privacy of your life (at home ie) is up to you...but if you are dressing for attention, you should at least be more controlled.