femininity or just letting go

[Tina_gm]

One of the things I am grateful for when it comes to the acceptance that I have gained from my wife is that when in our home and it is just her and I, I am free to just be me in terms of how I act. Basically, and I have explained myself as someone who does not try to be feminine, is to just let go and act however it is that is natural for me.

At times, I act kinda girly. Sometimes I am generally aware of it, and just do not care. The way I sit, certain hand gestures, I guess sometimes even the way I walk. OH... and I definitely have a few physical reactions which are very girly. (according to the Mrs.)

The one that is likely most obvious is how I react to things that smell bad. I remember once when some garbage got loose from the bag and it was just gross. And I reacted to it. This was before telling her, and she noticed how girly I reacted to it. Well, that still happens whenever something smells really bad. It is not something I try to do, it just happens.

But it got me to wondering.... Is it something that many guys would react to in a similar manner if it wasn't for the idea of a man cannot act in certain manners?? Kinda like crying, or any fearful reactions. It = weakness and or a lack of masculinity or it = femininity. What if.... guys who did not have the amount of femininity that most of us on here do, but yet did not in any way feel a need to portray macho masculine?? I guess what I am really getting around to here, is, is it just us who are not putting on a masculine front and because of that it "appears" more girly when in actuality, how I and probably many others react in certain ways just the way most guys actually feel but just do not show?

I know I am likely to have more femininity than that of most guys anyway, but I do wonder sometimes if what my wife sees sometimes is not so much femininity, but rather just me not masking what many other guys feel and how they would react.

[Beverley Sims]

I react to perfumes and makeup as far as smells go.
I notice them regularly.

[Christina Kay]

Just think of all the things your taught when young. Don't cry, don't show that mannerism, don't do that girls do. And so on. I know I have been able to well up and cry , much to easily my whole life.(And hid it all the time) I know in my situation mannerisms that might have gone unnoticed before. Get a little more scrutiny now. I also now feel free to express them and not disguise them. I just think it's in our makeup. Hugs

[Danielle Gee]

I have a reaction to talent (musical, acting, ice skating....anything along those lines) I've often sat on our couch and cried like a little girl while watching a performance on TV. My Wife says that very girly

[gennee]

My wife commented that I cross my legs like a woman. I react to beautiful women's fashions, love pink, and am teaching my granddaughter about makeup tips.Guess I'm more feminine than I realize-and I'm enjoying the journey.

[GretchenJ]

I react to perfumes and makeup as far as smells go.
I notice them regularly.

Yes, I agree, since scent is the most relevant of the senses, that tends to brings up both known and repressed memories. Campfires, hyacinths during Easter, smell of salt water from the beach, still bring up pleasant memories from my past.

As yes, I feel the same way when I smell certain perfumes Beverley

[Tracii G]

I'm a mix of both and I can't really control it or force one gender mannerism over another.
I react to things in a femme way then sometimes I don't. If I see or smell something gross then out comes the word Ewwwwww no matter what.
If ewww is girly then so what? I just react with that word to stinky stuff.

[julia marie]

"ewwwww"? Please, no. That's right up there with "So, she was like...." and "I was like...." Be sensitive to smells, that's fine. But, at least go for the english version with something like "That smell is horrible" or "What died?"

[kimdl93]

I can't say with certainty. I know women and men who faint at the sight of blood and are deathly afraid of spiders. If I have attributes that are feminine, it's probably more physical, like the way I walk, sit and throw a ball...which are all feminine to some degree based on the observations of others....and I tend to be a bit wordy in conversation. It doesn't show as much here, cause I hate typing on my iPad!

[Cynthia Anne]

Yes I cry watching ''those'' tv shows! I am very sentimental! My daughter-in-law's daughter say I ''flip'' my hair and say ''whatever'' as well as any of her teenage girlfriends do! whatever!

[suchacutie]

Ah, this is what was so confusing for so long! When I was young I was told I used a broom like a girl (I thought that was crazy at the time and still do), and I did tear up at some very odd things, and I often hung out with the girls, and the list goes on, and could never understand it. So, yes, this was a part of me, but it was never completely comfortable.

Once Tina arrived a few years ago, we specifically let her have her own "life". What we found is that many of those traits that I couldn't explain as a guy were seen to belong to Tina, and very quickly life got much clearer. I've been able to separate my gendered selves and I feel so much better in either gender! Maybe that's why it was so easy to accept Tina, since I was familiar with who she is and now I had a place for those feeling/actions. My wife understands as well and will talk about Tina, or suggest that Tina should handle something. I'm now concious of the separation, and I can use pieces in either gender...conciously...as needed.

[NathalieX66]

I wear womens' clothes because it's just who I am. It's me in my raw form.
Sure, I have fetishes, but womens' clothes don't feel exactly like a true fetish.....to me anyway. They just seem like a vessel for expressing my true self....don't know why, just is.

[daarleane]

Like Popeye the sailor man said: "I y'am what I y'am", and to quote Rhett Butler: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn". What I choose to wear and how I choose to act is my concern. while I will attempt to respect and conform it is my life not anyone else's .

[Jaylyn]

I truly believe that at certain ages we tend to emulate what is the custom for the gender we are. We are also as you have said trained to some degree about what is masculine and what is feminine. School teachers though have reported that in especially the lower grades they will have a very feminine boy in class that is trying to act like a boy but just shows too many girly traits. Usually those that are raised with out a male influence in the house they grow up in. I know personally that I have had female feelings as a youngster but due to my size and the guys I hung out with I would have never let them show. Because of my size the football coaches made me quell any type of female behavior. They were the guys I was trying to be like in school. I still knew I loved the feel of my moms hose in private though and knew I wanted more of that type feeling in me. Then came marriage and kids. I played along with the masculine daddy and the feelings I had of femme mine nature were suppressed. I even taught my son to be a man. My daughters to look for manly men that were go getters so that they would be provided for. I played the societal role of a good husband and and a great daddy. They are all out and doing great now with kids of their own. I am getting older and am finding I am getting more sensitive to tv shows that make me shed a tear. I am getting kinder to others and I am dressing more and more. I will never come out to my family but I can say that with age I am finally letting my real self show thru some. I often wonder what I would have been like if I would have let this happen sooner in life. Those of you who are young and letting the feminine side out, be careful with it especially with younger children and young men. I feel we fathers need to be the example of men but also let the young feel secure in who they are also. Just the price we pay for raising kids. I hope some of this made a little sense.... Lol

[Tina_gm]

I guess what I am looking for would be (and I could have made this more clear I suppose) is... Is it really feminine behavior itself that we show, or is it just not purposely acting masculine? I sometimes wonder if the way women tend to act is just a natural thing, with actions, reactions, whereas men learn as boys to "act" a certain way. I know there are likely to still be differences, and I would likely be more fem then a lot of guys even if guys never "acted" tough or macho, but I am thinking that the difference would be even more subtle than it already is.

[Kate Simmons]

"And I thought they smelled bad on the OUTSIDE!" Hey a mess is a mess is a mess, smell notwithstanding. Regardless of what "mode" I'm in some little elf isn't going to clean it up, so I'm elected and will put on my "big girl" whatevers to do it. Bottom line is I usually don't have time to react just "git 'er done".