My best friend almost made me cry tonight

[carhill2mn]

What a great friend you have! It is her "day" so make her happy. It seems as if she is already set to deal with her stepdad.

[Tracii G]

Violet you have a great friend there, go have fun and make the day all about her!!

[Chickhe]

Maybe you should figure out a way to meet the father in-law before the big event. Then he can get over you before the wedding and maybe see some redeeming qualities in you. Do something he will see that shows how much you care for the bride. Someone who is conservative is not going to do anything in public to bring negative attention to himself unless you force him to react.

[Jessica giovanna]

That's is awesome!

[Jilmac]

Your friend asking you to be a bridesmaid and your acceptance is a decision made by both of you. Non acceptance by her stepdad isn't your problem but his. It's something he hs to deal with but don't let his negativity spoil the moment for you or the bride.

[Michellegryl]

Violet that is wonderful, I am very happy for you. She is a wonderful friend you have there and the fact that she chose you to be her maid of honor, speaks volumes about the kind of friend you are to her. Make her day the most special day imaginable and do not worry about her step father or any one else for that matter. Just be the special person that you are.

[Violetgray]

Yes, you have an awesome and understanding friend. On the other hand the memories of the day will be forever engrained in every attendees mind. Who will the talk of the wedding? You or the bride? When people look at the bridal pictures years or decades later, who will be talked about?

Once I attended a wedding of a very close friend of the family. The bride's cousin, who is a gay man, showed up in a cream colored tuxedo with little pink roses all over. The tuxedo pants were shorts. He was a total distraction from the beautiful bride. He was a jerk. Not because he was gay, but, because he upstaged the bride's day.

Think about it in the long range sense.

Stephanie I have thought quite a bit about it, I would never want to be a distraction on her wedding day. So I am committed to blending in as much as possible. Our mutual friends are already familiar with me as Violet. I'm aiming for the other guests not to know at all.

[Marcelle]

Hi Violet,

What a great story and what a wonderful friend.

Hugs

Isha

[Sarasometimes]

Interesting position to be in. One thing you left out was how her fiance feels about her plan. How will her fiance side approach you being there dressed? True they should all be above board and be approving but we now that isn't often the case. I think a conversation with at least her and maybe even her fiance about all the concerns you have. Also how will the bridesmaids feel and the Best man who will walk down the isle with you?
I cross-dress and honestly I will admit that i wouldn't "WANT" to be your escort. Also I can't imagine a wedding with a cross-dresser as a Maid of Honor not being remembered by most in attendance as "so and so's wedding...Oh yeah the one with the guy as the maid of honor. Yea yea who got married"?
Sorry if this rains on your parade, but I'm being the devil's advocate. Anyone else see it this way.

[Violetgray]

Sara, Rachel and I are well aware that this is in some ways non-traditional. Her mom is planning just about everything, and she and I have discussed details unique to the situation, like where I'll be staying, changing, etc. I've met and hung out with most of her fiance's friends as Violet already, and they've all seemed neutral at least. As for the people who haven't met me yet, again, i'm aiming for maximum passability. And considering most of my time with the best man will be spent walking down the middle of the room and then standing over here while he stands over there, I'm hoping he'd get over it.

Even if they do figure it out I'm sure it will have occurred to them beforehand that transgender people exist, and I don't think it's enough to eclipse an entire wedding.

[Sheren Kelly]

Violet,
I think you have the right attitude. It's the bride's day and she sets the rules and if she wants you as her MOH, then she gets it.
Leave it to her mom to keep the step Dad in line. I don't think you will have any passability issues, and it would be hard to upstage the bride by fulfilling your duties as MOH in the classy way I expect you will. The Best man may be an issue, but you don't have to kiss him, but are you expected to dance (at least once) with him?

[PretzelGirl]

I don't blame you for wanting to cry. That is a friendship to cherish. Keep doing what makes her happy, it is her day after all!

[MsMandy]

Wow! Congratulations! What a sweet friend.

["Mary"]

That's so great - What a terrific friend you are. Being a bride's maid / MOH is a CD's dream, but you were willing to set that aside for her. What agreat freind she is, too. Very happy for both of you. I hope you can share some pics, discreetly and with permission of course. Thanks for sharing.

[Brynna M]

Good friends have a way of surprising you.