Was she just being nice?

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Friday afternoon/evening I went out shopping and out to dinner with my wife. I was dressed in my zebra top and jean skirt (as seen in this thread)

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...k-2&highlight=

The waitress was very nice and effortlessly used the correct pronouns. At the end of the meal she asked us if we wanted separate checks.

Do you think she really thought we were just female friends? I don't.

[ReineD]

This happened to us some weeks back. I think she was being nice because had I been there with another genetic female, the waitress would not have asked. She would have brought just one check. It's that kind of place.

The waitress' gesture was proof of her acceptance of my SO as a gender fluid person. I thought this was a good sign.

[Wildaboutheels]

i think it's a HUGE mistake for you and/or ANY CDer [no matter which letters if any they choose to identify themselves] to worry and/or wonder about what she really THOUGHT. You will never be free with that line of thinking.

You treated her well and she treated you well.

THAT is what important in my line of thinking.

[Tristessa]

Either you passed, or you interacted with a progressive human being who knew how to treat you with respect. You won either way.

[RADER]

I have gone out for breakfast many times with guy's I worked with; Sometimes there are 4 or 6 of
us at a big table. The waitress always asks us if we want separate checks. It just might be the policy
of the restaurant.
Rader

[S. Lisa Smith]

You looked wonderful, so who knows?

[Ruby John]

The waitress was probably thinking of her tip and tried to make everyone comfortable. Just enjoy it. Ruby

[Nicole Erin]

One of two things happened -
either you "passed" so to speak or she was being polite/accepting. Either way it is a good thing.

[Rachael Leigh]

Well from your pictures I can see why she would see 2 women, love your look and that cute short hair

[michelleddg]

Sez here you passed the audition! Baring that, perhaps your server has TG acquaintances and has been sensitized, or perhaps the restaurant has a policy it has passed on to its servers, or perhaps your server is simply a skilled people person. Under any circumstance it behooves you to tip well and make return trips. Hugs, Michelle

[Jessica giovanna]

I think it matters more of how she treated you rather than if you "passed". Whilst getting my brows done today, the stylist asked me how I wanted them...(not my reg gg)..told her very arched and en femme...she asked why. So I told her that I xdress and I did not like catapillars on my face, lol...she thought it was very cool and told me her brother was in Atlanta and he was xdressing..I think she just wanted to ask we talked for a long time. New friends can be made and it all comes from treating everyone kindly. We don't know why people can't understand us, so enjoy the ones who do!
Ms. G

[Stephanie47]

I think most waitstaff have seen it all. If she read you do you really think you were the first couple comprised of a CDer and a GG or any combination of patrons? A person learns quickly if you want to get a nice tip. She was not there to judge or affirm. She was there to provide a service. I suspect she did not have adequate time to determine the relationship between the two persons, so she made the proper inquiry. When my wife and I go out together we have discourse with the waitstaff and they end up knowing we are a couple. On the other hand when I have been on business trips with other coworkers, who are women, I've always been asked if we wanted separate checks if we had no stated when the order was taken.

[Beverley Sims]

Kim,
If you noticed that she effortlessly used the correct pronouns, do you think she really thought you were just female friends?

I don't either.
You had a good night out though and every one you have from now on will be even less intimidating.

I tend not to think about it any more.

[kimdl93]

You'll never have a definitive answer. Maybe you passed, maybe you didn't. Generally I quite safely assume that the SA, server or whomever is simply being courteous in recognition of the fact that I am obviously transgendered. As others have said, it's good either way.

[carhill2mn]

No matter what she thought, she is a special person!

[Jenniferathome]

She was being appropriate! You presented as female and she respected your choice. Hats off to the waitress. Hope you left a big tip.