I decided that when I felt like we were meant to be together for the long run... it was a good time to just blurt it out. Lol ...it worked out very well for both of us, because she felt the same way I did about us. ...she said it was ok, but she didn't want to see it... and asked for pictures 2 days later. ...after giving me a huge box of clothes she bought me, the rest, as they say, is history.
20 years. Came out. Marriage died.
I came out to her one year into our marriage (and we dated for four years before that). I feel guilty about not telling her sooner, but I didn't completely understand it myself before then. I had thought that marriage would "cure" me, but all it did was surround me with cute, feminine clothes, and our schedules had me often home alone with temptation.
I have been sitting here trying to figure out just when I told my wife. It seems like it was about 10 years ago.
so it would have been after we were married 10 years, it did not go well at all, at the time, things have changed a lot over the years
and no I can pretty much dress whenever I want, My wife and kids are totally accepting and life is good.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
I told my girlfriend about 18 months after dating. We got married 24 months later. She tried to get involved but cooled after a disastrous double date with another couple with a cross dressing husband. I could pass but he could not and it scared my wife. Since then I dress without her involvement. She has no idea that I can still easily pass and go out day or night en femme when I have the chance. We've been married 42 years. By the way, JaimeG, your picture falls into the "WOW' category. I hope your wife does not feel threatened. My wife sometimes bristled when she saw my pictures because she does not dress that femmie and it sometimes bothered her. This has not helped my cause over the years.
Last edited by Stephanie Julianna; 12-14-2013 at 04:52 PM. Reason: Just wanted to add thoughts.
Almost 17 years. As a young teen, I discovered my mother’s lingerie drawer, and a bit later, her makeup. The first time I saw my reflection in a pink nylon full slip with poorly applied mascara, eyeliner and lipstick, I was simultaneously excited (and that word doesn’t begin to describe it) and frightened to death. I looked like a *girl* -- or so I thought. I did it once or twice more, but, consumed with guilt and imagining the results if my mother were to find out, I repressed it.
After high school, I went into the military for four years and I don’t recall ever considering cross-dressing during that time. In my early twenties I realized that I had a lingerie fetish and that, in an ideal world I’d love to wear the stuff and look like a pretty girl that other pretty girls would swoon over. I realized this was pretty delusional and that it was an impulse that I need to control in myself.
After I married, the urges returned periodically, and I confess to periodically trying on a pair of my wife’s panties. When we married, my wife had an eight-year-old son who had some fairly obvious gender issues that she was having trouble dealing with. The last thing I wanted to do was to add to her insecurities. Today our boy is a happy and well-adjusted gay man accepted and loved by both his parents, but there were some rocky patches with his mom as he was growing up.
For a time, I was an aspiring novelist and it occurred to me that opening the pandora’s box of my own gender weird stuff might result in a more honest -- and perhaps more interesting -- work. It took me about four months, but I did finish the book, and after a lot of soul searching I decided to share it with my wife. At the time, I’d never read any TG fiction (using the Internet in those days still required at least a passing acquaintance with UNIX), and I thought I’d really produced a highly original, albeit somewhat pornographic novel. My wife had never seen such a thing, either, and professed to have been riveted by it. [In retrospect, it was a pretty ordinary bundle of TG fluff written by a pretty ordinary TG (albeit mildly so).]
Anyway, I used our discussion of the book to finally come clean about my CD/TG feelings. I’m pretty thoroughly heterosexual, and never considered myself to be TS, but neither was I a macho male. There were some tears from both of us, and a day or two of tension after I told her, but then she not only accepted it, but said she wanted to support me. I started wearing panties, and bought a fluffy nightie. We had some dynamite sex (just like in so many Fictionmania stories), but she gradually became less supportive. Finally she told me that she wasn’t a lesbian, and that if she were, she could do a lot better than me. That one hurt, but it still made me laugh my head off.
Well, that was some 25 years ago, and I’m still wearing panties and sleeping in smooth nylon sleep shirts. She still doesn’t support it (she’s never given me any femme clothing or other “gender inappropriate” stuff, but she *does* accept me, and we both still love each other very much.
Knowing what I know now, I would never start a serious relationship without disclosing my CDing, but looking back and considering our unique situation, I feel pretty good about my decision to keep it to myself for as long as I did. Of course, as we say in cyberspace, YMMV.
Sorry for being so long-winded, but that's one of my *other* faults. :-)
Over 30 years, here, but then I didn't realise I really wanted to dress for most of that time. Very occasionally, I'd try something on - maybe it was just suppressed. What changed? Well, we watched a film partially about cross-dressing, and I decided that I'd like to try it as a New Year dress-up. It felt so great I've wanted to keep doing it, but my SO does not really approve. I'll try again this NY. Partly, I think she feels its a case of "nice legs, shame about the face", and partly she's uncomfortable with the whole idea. It was her suggestion, though, that I wear women's jeans, as they suit me better.
in my marriiage well before we married I would frequently partially cross dress and sometimes go full ensemble, for days at a time. When it ended she of course blamed my gender expression lol. I think that is just standard fare for almost anyone under the TG umbrella who experiences a relationship ending for that to be called out whether it was true or not
"In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom."
"My actual gender identity emerged as I healed from the scars of childhood not because of those scars" - Kelly J
37 years after she became my wife and she as accepted it right off the bat.
Angie
I have known my present wife since we were three years old. So after many years with the wrong persons we got together and I told her on our first date. She has never had a problem with it and supports me fully.
With my first wife, my CD'ing came into being during the marriage so she knew but was fickle with her support. I told my new wife the first week we were together, the second time we were in bed and she was like Cool! I kind of knew that she might be OK with it from getting to know her that fist week, I learned quickly that she as No Prude.
First one was in to it about 3 years...was not a fan...ended at 4 years. Second one told her on our fourth date...not a fan...ended at 7 years. This one, I told her the day we started to hang out Still a fan :P
Drumming, My other hobby
I was 1.5 years into our relationship when I told my SO. It was very difficult and I did it VIA email as we were several hundred miles apart at the time. Yes, a little cowardly, but I was so afraid of the outcome that I just didn't want t face her. She is accepting and encouraging.
Last edited by alwayshave; 12-16-2013 at 10:03 PM.
About four years in. We've now been together 15 years now, so I guess she was okay with it!
In fact, for birthdays and Christmas, she usually picks up a "just for us" gift with some new lingerie/swimwear.
(For the record, the purple shirt in my photo used to be hers!)
We had been married for approximately 4-yrs and had moved into our 1st home. We had 3-small children and were struggle to make everything work. She found a pair black pumps and assumed I was having an affair with a neighbor. I came clean by writing a letter to my wife explaining that I had always had part on me that was hidden away. We cried together, we talked about where this was going and what did I want .... 20+ yrs later ... we're together, our kids have grown up and provided us with 6-beautiful grandchildren ... Vickie is still hidden from general public view, but she is always there ... The wife supports and has helped with Vickie's evolution and development, but still is very protective of the family and her husband
Posting Permissions
