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Thread: Those with Unaccepting Spouses or GFs/BFs

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    What about Need to Communicate?

    Isn't it at least reasonable to expect an SO to discuss feelings at least once a month?

    It doesn't seem like much of a relationship if one can't do that. And I'm not suggesting that CDs should try to persuade a non-accepting SO to be accepting. I'm talking about clarifying each other's feelings so each can try to help resolve any tension in the relationship. People keep saying on here not to be dishonest with your SO, but I think both parties need to be honest, and that surely requires open communication of feelings and needs etc.
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  2. #27
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    I'd say no.... followed by Hell No.... I wouldn't want my wife to read this forum.... its like the only place I can go to talk about crossdressing.... it wouldn't help her understand on bit and she would probably just get more pissed off....
    Ditto, Ditto, Ditto -----fer sure.................................Debra

  3. #28
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LelaK View Post
    Isn't it at least reasonable to expect an SO to discuss feelings at least once a month?
    Lela - of course you're right - ideally - but some relationships are more complex than others and I for one have more than just my CD issue (in the sense of a non-normal fetish or sexual predilection) that I keep to myself because I don't want my SO to be hurt. To me it seems clear that better and more open relationships come about when CDs are able to discuss their feelings and needs both earlier in their adult life and earlier in any impending relationship. For me, I'm afraid, neither of these has been possible.
    Without being too pointed, my wife (love her to bits! ) is particularly illiberal and incredibly strong-willed - a case of complementary rather than similar personalities for the two of us.
    Again - those of you who have understanding SOs are truly fortunate...
    Last edited by Sandra; 12-14-2013 at 03:21 PM. Reason: Fixed quote
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  4. #29
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    I agree w/Lela's comment about sharing feelings on a regular basis. I do try to do this daily, but she bristles if Ibegin to share feelings about gender or female clothing, so I don't often go there--have learned that it leads to misery for us both. One stereotype that I hate hearing, as it is not true in my case and I know is also not true for many others is that women (GG's) are more interested in and able to share feelings than guys. In my marriage If I didn't volunteer my feelings or ask about hers, feelings wouldn't come up. And, I also do not agree that this is my "feminine side." I believe the difference has more to do with personality (and yes, 'Nancy' is integrated into who I am) and upbringing. Nancy

  5. #30
    Member Secret Drawer's Avatar
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    I agree with the notion of sharing issues regularly, but like Nancy, have been stonewalled every time any discussion goes in the gender direction. It is both frustrating and a problem. Think about how (many) of us progress naturally on this genderfluid line, and consider a DADT relationship. Very frustrating and decidedly unfair. I am a much more open person then she, so sites like this would make her uncomfortable with the frank talk. We don't keep secrets per se, but I can't force her to listen either!

  6. #31
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    My SO has 4 legs and doesn't care what I wear or where I wear it. But it's an easy guess I think. It obviously depends on the CDer. IF one thinks the vast majority of the Qs and replies pertain to himself and/or are issues he himself deals with, the answer is an obvious yes to try to get his SO to visit the Forum.

    If one pays attention to various #s, it's pretty obvious that the vast majority of CDers at this site don't relate to most of it or simply do not wish to/have nothing to contribute, so they don't bother to sign in/signup. Those CDers would be deathly afraid for their SOs to find this site I would bet.

    Of course one could claim this site doctors the #s I guess.

  7. #32
    Super Moderator DAVIDA's Avatar
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    Trust me, this site does not doctor any numbers.
    What would be the point to do that anyway?

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