Being someone else?

[Bima]

While I like CDing as such, I have since my early childhood, say from age five or so, had the desire to, not just wear women's clothing, but actually for some shorter time liked to be and living the life of some woman of choice, some (girl or) woman I had seen in the past, I just saw or someone I know.

It could be a female teacher, a hot neighbor woman, a friend's mum, a secretary in a white blouse and black pencil skirt at my work, someone in a TV-movie, perhaps a woman in a long wool-coat waiting outside a shopping-center to be picked up, and even a relative.

Without exception this was always a very beautiful, mature, feminine and from my teens and on-wards often a somewhat elegantly dressed woman. Of course, if I lived the life of someone else, I would behave, talk, wear the clothes, make up etc and have the same body and even the hair etc as this woman, also have the her work, relationships and so on that come with the life.

Now, I'm not sure that I would like to trade away my life for another, as I'm fairly happy with whom I am (even if the above fantasy may bring some doubt to it ;-), and of course it is utterly unrealistic, and it would not be fair to the other person, but it would nevertheless be interesting to hear if someone else have a similar fantasy in this respect and how it expresses itself? Any particular role models?

Also wonder how to classify this feeling, because I think it goes beyond regular CDing, and flavors thereof? And a sex change, using my own body, has never crossed my mid. So it is not transsexual, not CD, not transgender, but what is it/ could it be called?

Any clues of what the psychology behind this "unusual" thought pattern /feeling could be?

Any other thoughts on this theme?

Merry Xmas to all of you too,
/Bima

[Lucy_Bella]

You would be a CDer..It's not uncommon for a CDer to have fantasies about being ( in their mind) that woman/girl.. If it's a sexual experience while dressed and fantasizing chances are it is a T/F thing.. Although you didn't mention that along with your fantasy..

[Beverley Sims]

I always wanted to be the girldown the street.
She had a lovely wardrobe of clothes, and I got to wear some of them!

[docrobbysherry]

I see women of all ages that I find attractive. It never occurred to me someone mite think about becoming them and taking over their lives. If that's what u meant?

I simply try to copy the looks I find unusual , interesting, or hot! But, I don't have a clue about role playing someone else. However, I know role play is very popular with many folks. I don't think many r CD's, tho.

[emilamb]

I think this is a common enough feeling for anybody, CDer or not. "Swapping bodies" happens all the time in movies and TV, especially science fiction. Sometimes the bodies are swapped between men and women, sometimes not (think Freaky Friday).

Seeing the world through someone else's eyes is an integral and necessary part of living within human society and making meaningful friendships and relationships. Wanting to actually be that other person is just taking that to its logical extreme.

[Rachelakld]

I'ld call it escapism, which is fun, maybe an over abundance of empathy?
or
"Invasion of the Body Snatchers" - depending on which planet your from

Have a great Christmas

[Karren H]

I'd love to live the life of someone who didn't crossdress.... male or female.... I'm not picky! lol

[lovetobedani]

I've always wonderer why I wasn't born female to start with, and I've often thought about what I wanted to look like. It's never been anyone in particular. I'll just settle for being an attractive proportionate woman with brunette hair.

[DebbieL]

I've wanted to be a girl for as long as I can remember. At this point, I know I'm transsexual and am in transition, but I struggled as a CD for several years, trying to accept a body I hated.

I just wanted to be like the other girls in school. At first, I was too young to know the critical difference, I just thought girls had longer hair and I wanted longer hair. I used to cry when I would get haircuts.

I wanted to be pretty, but not the prettiest girl in the school, or even the prettiest girl in the class.

When I was about 6 or 7 I used to have dreams that I was a girl in an older car (53 blue Chevy convertible) with a boyfriend. We were kissing and making love (even though I didn't know about that yet), and then someone hit him and strangled me. I'd wake up in terror, often choking.

[Stephanie Julianna]

My girl side has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. The name changed once but not the girl. I don't think of Steph as somone else or trying to be someone else. Steph is actually the complete me. When you see her you see it all. When you see BOB you only see part of me. LOL Steph

[harmony]

it is very simply called empathy!

[Bima]

Thank you all for your views and feedback.

I think that the responses, e.g. from Docrobbysherry, reinforced my impression that this feeling/fantasy is not just regular CD, but something more, or at least different. Moreover, I have noted this, in discussions on this board and also elsewhere on the web, that there is a distinction. Some of us, just have the dream, desire, or fantasy to dress as a woman, but still being oneself; some really want to be (and dress as) a woman, but in some sense still being oneself. Reading stories e.g. on fictionmania, writing.com etc reveals, as Emilamb and Rachelakld touches on, that the fantasy of living someone else life, dressing like them etc, turns out to be fairly common.

I liked the word escapism, as suggested by Rachelakld, but it is also more than just escapism, as it is rather specific in nature.
Perhaps a good description, word and definition for it, would be
Transescapism: The fantasy, desire, or longing to be and living the life of a specific person of the other sex
What do you think about the term Transescapism, and the definition proposed?

As for the clues for the psychology behind this, Harmony brings up empathy as a possible cause. It does not seem unreasonable that empathy could be involved, perhaps with a connection to mirror Neurons and say an over-abundance thereof?. In my own case, I have been told many times that I have a very strong emphatic side, but of course, no scientific conclusions can be drawn from that.

For those CDs that have not tried this fantasy, why not try it? If you see some good looking woman somewhere, in a cafe, shopping center or alike, or you think about some attractive woman you know, a teacher, neighbor or alike, imagine how it would be to be her, being dressed as her, and live her life. It is quite a rush, and an interesting experience.
If you have now tried this, what is your experiences in this respect?

Also want to wish you a Happy New Year.
Bima

[Teresa]

Bima don't make it too complicated you think you have solved one part of puzzle and try to move on only to find you've a twist in the plot and your bits don't fit anymore. I was a photographer for some time, the times I stood at the back of the church wishing I could be one of the bridesmaids, when I arranged their dresses it was heaven. If they complained about not wanting to wear them the words were on my lips to offer to take over. I also remember an advert on UK TV selling GTECH floor cleaners there was girl in a short pleated skirt , orange Tshirt, black jacket, long boots cleaning a rug it was so sexy, if only I could be her. Well I bought the Tshirt and the boots I had the skirt, so I got close.

[AnnieMac]

I love your fantasy suggestion! I'll try it out. However, I think you are onto something here. Here is my take on it, because I, like others here, have these very strong feelings of this other personality inside. It's truly a dual nature - equal parts male & female that is naturally there. The way I see it, it's cause and effect; the cause being this personal strong male and female duality results in one of its effects, that being dressing female. At least that's how I feel about myself, and it seems you do too. It's a whole other thing, more than just simply cross-dressing. I don't want to have a SRS procedure done. In fact, if I did, I would end up on the other forum here because I would miss the male-me now! ( although I do confess to a bit of vagina envy every now and then) I haven't actually talk to any GG's about this in real life, so I apologize ahead of time if I seem naive about this here on this forum to you. But that is the one thing I would like to help GG's, who maybe be struggling with men they know that do this, understand if they don't already, is how naturally this has been inside of us since we were little boys, and how much they might find it so meaningful and at sometimes wonderful to connect with this part of someone they know. We are just different kinds of guys, and not really bad ones at that! Hope I make sense, I ramble a bit.

[Desirae]

I came here a couple months ago with pretty much the same questions about the fantasies of imagining myself as woman, as imagining myself as a woman in a heterosexual relationship with a man, etc. These thoughts seem fairly typical (if anything about our lives is typical) of many/most CDs. These fantasies now may mean something down the road. They, also, may mean nothing down the road. It's a journey and you'll/we'll have to see where it goes. Your ideas on a lot of things,including how you think you fit on the TG spectrum, may different 5, 10, 15 years from now. Try not to over think or analyze things too much. Maybe living in the moment would be the best bet.

[MsVal]

If one knows a woman with a great presentation it seems convenient or desirable to use her mannerisms, experiences, and style as a template upon which to construct one's own personna. So many "What if I need to do that?" questions can be answered by "How does she do that?".

[Kate Simmons]

Well, it's not an exact science but you can enjoy the best of both worlds and still be yourself. The key is getting in touch with your feelings and having a lot of patience.

[Daphne Renee]

I think thats fairly common. I dont necessarily want to be that other person but to look like them.

[lingerieLiz]

When I was about 12 I thought it would be great to be a housewife. Nothing sexual just the life of cooking shopping and being social with other women.

[Marcelle]

Hi Bima,

This is a very common theme in CDing (fantasy that is). The dressing up like a woman is definitely CDing and fantasizing about being a specific woman is just part of the process which you use to bring the "girl" side of you to life. I have often seen lovely GGs out and about in various clothing and wanted to emulate that look. You have take it a bit further and taken on the identity but in the end you are still there and this would equate to a healthy fantasy/escapism life.

So CDer . . . definitely.

Hugs

Isha

[silkysheer]

Some of my best days at home as Jennifer have been the days I have even totally engrossed in all aspects of being her! I do housework and home maker type things and stay dressed all day, I'll even stop and watch some daytime soaps and things. I pay more attention to my inner feelings on these types of days, I just seem happier.

[Jorja]

Actually, I wanted to be Sophia Loren or Raquel Welsh but nooooo, I got stuck with Elmer Fudd. So, I had to do it the hard way as with most things in my life.

[Diane Smith]

Jorja, you are nowhere near Elmer Fudd, but are one of the most beautiful ladies here. I'm surprised to hear you say that about yourself, because I think your look and confidence are inspiring!

- Diane

[Jorja]

FFS works wonders my dear Diane. Believe me, I was an Elmer Fudd look a like back in the day.

[KellieCD]

I'm with Liz and Silky. I really enjoy my days at home dressed, and completing task around the house. I love feeling like I'm the wife... Not emulating my wife, just loving the role.