Coping Mechanisms...

[Wildaboutheels]

Obviously, there are many "tortured" members that water here for a myriad of reasons. Some with more serious issues to deal with than others.

Maybe many CDers are just plain different than "normal folks"? Are there folks here who have NO coping mechanisms? You can't put on some type of music? Or watch a good movie? Or exercise? Volunteer work? Help a friend out? You don't have ANY way of lightening your load/burden at least temporarily?

I remember at a Dating site Forum many years ago... Seems like almost half of the members there would listen to SAD music when they were "down" to pick them up. I found that extremely odd.

What can you/do you do to "cope" when you get down?

[Jaylyn]

When I get down I dress. It relaxes me and causes the stress to go away. The older I get though the less stress I have. I water here also cause the pool is full of some great experiences and some beautiful success stories with real characters that play themselves. It beats the heck out of face book where people only post kids taking a step or their dog spinning around trying to catch his tail, or what some body had for desert that day. To me they are the ones that need to get a job, exercise, listen to music, or volunteer for something. I have many friends on here that have this same hobby I call it and we talk a lot in private. Friends that share interests are more fun to talk to anyway. I'm retired my only cope I have to cope with now is any dam thing I want to do that day.... Also Wild I have so many other hobbies that involve outdoors that during the winter time I enjoy staying in and snuggling with the wife or playing my musical instruments and after my deer tags are filled and each processed I dress. My load is light can I help you with yours?????

[mary something]

Do you feel that your question kinda rules out the possibility of posting on here as a coping mechanism when you ask if some of the folks here have NO coping mechanisms? Commiserating with friends can be a coping mechanism though, right?

[Angela Campbell]

Everyone is going to have coping mechanisms that suit themselves. For instance I see many who say that dressing makes them feel less stressed, and for me it was the opposite. The more I did so the more stress I felt. The dressing was making me stressed out. That may be because I am ts not cd, but it may have no relation to that at all. I have my mechanisms, and they change from time to time. Mostly I find talking about things helps, making music helps, and being busy helps, at least for me.

[Beverley Sims]

I know there are those here that have problems and it is a serious question that you ask.
Some get a little too morose and are unable to recover.
But I say take a deep breath and ....

Look on the bright side of life.

[Kate Simmons]

No need to really Hon. I'm usually always busy with my family and friends.

[Valarie]

Do you feel that your question kinda rules out the possibility of posting on here as a coping mechanism when you ask if some of the folks here have NO coping mechanisms? Commiserating with friends can be a coping mechanism though, right?

I totally agree, I expressed to my therapist that I had been feeling lonely and feeling like I was the only CD in the world. She told me to look for support groups and forums I found this site. It has helped me cope with a lot, and feel like I am not alone.

[docrobbysherry]

I may be fortunate in that regard. Other than once when stranded alone, broke, in a foreign country at age 17, I,ve never been very depressed.

And, I don,t ever recall being bored either! I always tell my daughters, "If you,re bored, it means you,re boring!"

[Marcelle]

With the exception of the few months before I finally came out to my wife, I have not been to such a point where I require coping mechanisms to get through the day. That is not to say I don't feel stress in my life and when I do, I have several hobbies I engage in to focus my mind and beat the stress back. Dressing while it relaxes me in a way, it is more part of who I am and I like to incorporate Isha to ensure I feel whole. I like sharing my thoughts with the great gals here in this forum and in a way that is its own coping mechanism.

Now if I feel really stressed then I have no better way for cathartic release then to book time on the pistol range at work and just blast away . . . sorry that is the army guy/gal in me.

Hugs

Isha

[rocketscientist]

I drink heavily to cope Lol. Usually , I dress to cope when I am down. When I can't dress for some reason, I shop for things to wear when I can dress! I do enjoy my beer tho. I regularly enjoy some fine import beers or some great American brews. I recommend anything from either Stone Brewing, Dogfish Head or Founders Brewing from Grand Rapids,MI.. Another thing that works for me is to watch a good movie, either at home or at a theater. Or spend some time with friends.

[linda booth]

I happen to enjoy what you call sad music. They're called torch songs. It was Sinatra's specialty. A favorite of mine is actually called Glad to be Unhappy.

[Luna Nyx]

i watch movies or listen to classical music. it doesn't have to be sad. or i watch MST3K. that always makes me laugh.

[suchacutie]

It's not often that I need a coping mechanism because I regularly converse with my wife and here perspective keepe on a regularly even keel. If I am by myself for some reason I play classical music...that is I perform classical music. There is nothing like it (only second to my wife!)

[Katey888]

Well, this forum is an IMMENSE coping mechanism - the principle of a problem shared is a problem halved holds true, and reading the many success stories and positive advice that friends here post, that also helps remind me that there's probably someone worse off... somehow... somewhere...
Other than that:
Happy Music - I can't stand depressive stuff, it must be upbeat but any genre, so I can't listen to Mozart or Handel and not feel uplifted, and some songs/ albums have the same impact, like... Dire Straits first album (just raw, brilliant stuff); Shania Twain-Come On Over (how bubbly can you be..); Deep Purple-Made in Japan (can whistle every note...) or AC/DC-If You Want Blood (but very, very loud...) - and Frank Sinatra's happy songs: Come Fly With Me and My kind of Town (was there ever a more brilliant lyricist than Sammy Cahn...) - they all improve my mood.
Or watch a funny movie - like: There's Something About Mary or Life of Brian ("Conjugate the verb, laddy...") or a really moving film... or play a really violent FPS video game (not all of us have access to live ammunition- thank goodness!).... or whack some balls at the driving range... Actually, I have lots of coping mechanisms, which is just as well - I have lots of problems... bwwaaahhhh!
Time to hit the volume with Frank...
Katey x

[Stephanie47]

When I get down for some reason I end up dressing in wig, dress, hosiery, heels and all the proper undergarments. Then I bake a banana cake or cherry cake. I must be feeling a lot more upbeat since I retired because my desire to be en femme has greatly diminished. I do not get any serious angst about getting femme time because I usually can dress Monday through Friday for six or seven hours a day. Much of my dressing is a mechanism to cope with PTSD from Nam. Some guys use drugs and alcohol and other destructive behavior. Somehow putting on a dress does not seem to be very destructive behavior.

[Erica Marie]

Oooh this is a tough one. I dont honestly think I have 1 real coping mech. Usually I just go day by day and try to figure things out.

[Sonya]

Just wondering if coping mechanisms are same as ignoring the issues that causes the stress? I am very good at ignoring problems and engaging in fun activities instead but this only causes more stress later. So I guess temporary coping mechanisms are great as long as you can address the real issues in due time.

[Jessica giovanna]

I go for a loooonnnggggg run....at about mile 8, I tend to be inside of myself at that point....then turn around to head back...

[Desirae]

Now if I feel really stressed then I have no better way for cathartic release then to book time on the pistol range at work and just blast away . . . sorry that is the army guy/gal in me.

Yeah, this works for me, too. Nothing works better than blowing off about 200 rnds or more at the range.

[NathalieX66]

For me, dressing as a little girl is a coping mechanism....it is pure escapism.

My woman side is just gender identity. I prefer both sides of the fence, and I play both sides to the max.

[GaleWarning]

I live in a large boarding house with 11 other people. No privacy. Sure deflates the balloon!

[LaraPeterson]

Hey heels, I look at pictures like your avatar and wish I was built like that!

[luca]

I'm still working on coping on my own, fortunately for me I have a wonderful SO that pulls it out of me with all of her might so I can't bottle it all up when I don't cope well.

[PaulaQ]

Coping mechanisms:
1. AA meetings
2. Talking to people on this forum
3. visiting with friends and family
4. Work

[JamieQ]

I was recently told by someone that CDing in itself is a coping system...or at least a way to shut everything else out for a while...