Advice please

[Megan.]

Hi there its megan i have put a couple of posts on here in the last week so you may have an idea about me. I would like some advice regarding crossdressing or being transexual over the last couple of years my crossdressing has got worse i mean i want to do it more and more and it is beginning to control me to the point of wanting to live full time dressed as megan.
Can you great people on here shed any light on this matter for me am i just obsessed with crossdressing or is it more than that thanks again megan.

[GaleWarning]

My advice would be to read as many different posts on this forum as possible, Megan.
In that way, you will discover what makes sense for you and what makes nonsense for you.
That's how I managed to work out where I lie in the LGBT spectrum and what floats my boat.
All the best.

[KristyE]

Megan, Look for posts about "pink fog" and know it ebbs and flows. Depending on your situation ( family, wife, children ) do as seems sensible. Go slow until you find your own balance.
love KristyE

[Kate Simmons]

If the CDing controls you rather than vice versa, it's probably an indication that you need some counseling to put things into perspective. It can possibly have negative effects on your life if left unattended.

[Marcelle]

Hi Megan,

When you say dressing to you mean total "en femme" (make-up, wig, clothes) or just partial? If you are dressing fully, is this something you have done from the beginning or has it escalated over time (i.e., under dressing, to partial to full)?

The reason I ask is that I went through a similar "confused" state when I first began dressing fully . . . I felt as though two halves of my being were battling for my soul (Isha on one side and boy me on the other). I was/am still seeing gender identity therapist and she kind of talked me off the ledge a bit in that I had hid Isha for so long that once I began to express her, she wanted to see the light more and more. Did not necessarily mean I was TS (wanting to be a woman) just that I needed to express her more to come to grips with her. Now if you are having thoughts about hating your body (i.e., male genitalia) and wanting to get rid of it . . . then this might be more a case of TS vice CD. But from what I read, you just want to dress more and express your femme side?

Now if a therapist is not for you, then Gale's advice is great, read the posts and pick through other people's experiences and apply them to your own circumstances. However, please remember we (the community) know our own circumstances and what works for us might not be right for you and vice versa (anyone who tells you differently is wrong). The one piece of advice I can give you, and it is only advice, you need to take ownership of this thing we do. While it can be both confusing and scary at times it can be also be wonderful and intoxicating. You are most likely experiencing the intoxication portion ("pink fog") hence the scary and confusing.

Have faith though, these things tend to subside once you begin to accept and understand them.

Hugs

Isha

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is just a desire to dress.
Being trans sexual would mean having a lot of other desires and thoughts also.

[Helen_Highwater]

I've one of many here who are in the closet to family and friends so don't get the chance to dress as often as I would like. The opportunity to dress even for a couple of hours is seized gratefully. I have been lucky enough to spend 4-5 days continuously dressed and out and about. However I know just how limited by opportunities are but I still have to fight the "pink fog". The urge to buy more clothes, stuff I hardly get a chance to wear.

But would a go full time? No: there are male elements of my life I enjoy too much and I would suggest this is the question you need to ask of yourself. If you think you'd like to go full time then work your way into it, employment may be an issue. Would a night out with the lads still be just that. If you play sport, are you going to play for the ladies team, because going full time raises the question of transitioning.

A question has just popped into my mind; Megan, were your dressing opportunities limited by circumstance and has that now changed such that you're freer to dress and can I ask how old you are?

[Katey888]

Hi Megan,
Isha's advice is always very sound - the questions you are asking are much more meaningful than can be answered simply (unfortunately...). CDing can be very compulsive for some or all of us wherever we stand on the spectrum. I know there have been times when I have wanted to put a lot of time into Katey (so to speak) and actually, when I've had the chance to do that a lot, sometimes the feeling goes and I just want to get back to guy mode. Other times, I could keep going for days, but life tends to get in the way. Any desire that approaches obsession has the potential to be damaging, for all sorts of reasons - try to pace yourself and build understanding if you can. Do you have close friends who know Megan or is it just us forum gurls?
Katey x

[kimdl93]

I wouldn't get so caught up in definitions. What you should focus on is gaining clarity on what it is you need...rather than want. I would also take a good look at the idea that the desire to dress has or is gaining "control". You are in full control of your actions and fully responsible for them...any feeling to the contrary is an illusion. If you feel obsessive or compelled to act in a certain way, you may want to speak with a therapist.

Transsexuals are at one end of the spectrum, and although I hesitate to speak for them, I would think its fair to say that being transsexual isn't about the clothes - its about how one identifies her gender. If an individual feels very strongly the sense of being a woman living in a man's body, that would meet at least my understanding of what it is to be transsexual.

There are a lot of other variations on the cross dressing theme. Many of us identify as transgendered, another term prone to various interpretations, but generally meaning that an individual identifies his/her "gender" as a mix of male and female to varying degrees. A TG person may dress infrequently or on a daily basis, but may not necessarily believe they are or wish to become a woman. I know of a number of TG people who live as women full time and a good many who move fluidly between gender presentations as the mood strikes them.

[Megan.]

hiya yeah my crossdressing was limited when i lived with my parents i have just got my own home about a month ago my age is 32 thanks megan

hi there it is just your girls that know about me and my mum and dad my friends don't know about megan.

[Alice Torn]

Pink Fog is mysterious, and powerful, and lifts for times. Easy does it. I realized, that i have too many physically hard jobs, and working on my old vehicles, to really seriously become a woman permanently. But, enjoy being one temporarily at times. Like others have said, check the threads on pink fog. Good advice. It is a struggle for many, at times.

[LaraPeterson]

Hi Megan, like most everything in life, this is part of our "journey," not something that can just be "fixed." You've listed your location as UK; if that means GB/Scotland, you've got a lot of company. I'm sure there are girls near you who post/read right here on this forum. Maybe you could get to know some, interact with them, even meet them for some "girl talk." Of course, you need to be careful, but there's nothing better than getting to know someone who is "like" yourself.

And what Isha suggested go right along with this. You might want to see a professional who deals with gender identity issues to help you get a "grip" on Megan so you don't get lost in the fog. Slow down, think it over and over before you make a decision to go full time. You're going to find there are a lot of challenges. Best of luck to you.

[Helen_Highwater]

hiya yeah my crossdressing was limited when i lived with my parents i have just got my own home about a month ago my age is 32 thanks megan

hi there it is just your girls that know about me and my mum and dad my friends don't know about megan.

Megan,

This may just be a reaction to having the freedom to "do your own thing". I would suggest you "allow" yourself so much time each week as Megan and stick to that for a few months. Give yourself time to adjust to your newly found freedoms and to let your life settle into a routine. You will get a better perspective on how you want to progress. Moving on too quickly may result in outcomes that you have no control over and are unwanted and irreversible. Keep reading and posting. Folks here will always provide help and support.