Curse for me. But I know it's part of me and it's not going away. I've accepted that, I like this side of me but life would have been easier without the cding. I most likely would still be married but when I finally excepted this side of me she lost hope and started a new chapter in her life without me. So now I find myself starting over, wanting new love but knowing it's going to be a hard mountain to climb. Wish me luck.