I agree that time I threw my pictures away was not a good thing.Originally Posted by dana 1
I had two CD's of myself as a female taken over a fifteen year period...and a lot thinner.
The last time I purged I took a picture of the nice cloths in the dumpster and the big truck haling my stuff away.
All the while thinking to myself, "there, I am done with that forever". Silly girl!
We have discussed this purge thing before and there were some excellent ideas on managing the need. Yes, I have been there several times also, but no more. Just pack things away and store them against the day you get over the urge to purge. Yes, it does keep a girl's wardrobe current, but so many of the items are not subject to fashion trends and quite expensive or impossible to replace.
I like this new concept, at least new for me, of giving things to a friend to hold and use. Next to simply packing things away, this is the second best idea I have seen. Thanks girls.
Hugs all, Robin
As I've shared in past related threads, I "tried" 2 major purges in the past, the 1st about 25 years ago, and again maybe 8-9 years ago. In retrospect, they both remain quite painful, both for the loss of things no longer available, and emotionally in denying this part of me. Never again.
The gradual journey to acceptance apparently has lots of twists and turns for everyone.
Now, I have a wardrobe that I've worked hard for, am proud of, and expresses the girl inside well. I've been through much to get to my levels of acceptance and can now finally appreciate and enjoy the various parts of me in context. Also, the idea of even trying to replace the clothes, lingerie, shoes... is just too much to even consider.
And in the spirit of real acceptance without narcissism: "Close your eyes. Fall in love. Stay there." Rumi
Happy New Years,
Kate
Last edited by Kate's at home; 01-01-2014 at 12:21 AM.
Yep been there done that too, however as you can tell from so many replies, you'll always come back. For me shutting down the desire to dress is like telling the sun to stop rising the tide to stop rolling in and the NSA to stop snooping, just ain't gonna happen. Hang in there and know that you're not alone on this often messy and confused path to understanding and accepting your true "you" ;-)
I most recently purged this Fall. Slacks, shorts, tops, bras, shoes, skirts, makeup, wigs, jewelry - everything but my panties - all went in a clothes recycling bin. I didn't have too much but what I did have was comfortable and for the most part fit my style.
It wasn't a week later that I started rebuilding my wardrobe.
What a waste.
I don't know if this has been posted somewhere to help the "newbies".
But it may be helpful to let them know how common this is.
It may save them a lot of cash , time, and possibly relieve a little confusion.
I purged once, it was after my first wife left me, I was done with this part of my life, after all if it was going to ruin marriages I figured I better give it up.
I was surprised just how soon I regretted that purge, lost a beautiful pair of ostrich heels, I've never had another pair of heels that felt so good to wear.
I didn't like the feeling of being without anything feminine left, it left an empty feeling. I also didn't like the person I became while not dressing, so I never did it again.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
I've purged many more times than I care to admit. And yes, I miss some of the stuff that I had tossed and kicked myself for spending money on clothes as well.
Finding the other side of me.
So far I have not purged. I did throw away panties that were cotton and just not sexy enough for my liking. Since my wife accepted it I dont think I will purge!
i love this response@
I purged once. Threw out two nice pair of ankle boots and eighty dollar dress, among other things. Hopefully I won't be doing that again.
No Never, my wife would kill me if I threw all the stuff out she has bought me.Ellie
Yup I've done the purge like everyone, but now the wife knows everything I swore that should the purge beast rise up again I'll have a soft one and put things in storage instead of the trash, I'm hoping out of sight and out of mind works on that monster.
The only thing I truly miss is a pair of slightly stretchy zip up the back pants, they felt great. Too bad the 90's are gone forever .....
I purged roughly about a year ago thinking I would return to a male life. It didn't work and now I'm starting over
Love these responses . 30 days ago I did not know what a purge was. About 23 years ago ,I apparently purged .it won't happen again.
Purging? Ben there. Done that. I think most of us girls have at least thought about it at one time or another. I've read about this on a lot of different sites. I felt a little better when I found out how common it is. It made me feel that I wasn't alone.
There are a lot of bad feelings involved in the purging process. I've felt shame, denial, disgust, and a whole host of other emotions. There's also the feeling of regret when I realized what I had done. Looking back, I find a couple of bright spots. First, I needed to get rid of some of that stuff anyway. It was hideous! What was I thinking? Second, purging gave me the opportunity to enjoy one of my favorite pastimes. Shopping!
I don't feel bad about it now. I just keep moving forward while enjoying the memories.
Self Made,
Yes I've purged several times. Once was when my wife found it all & threw it out.
But I have a story that I'd like to tell. I was in my early 20's, recently married, living in an apartment complex & I decided that now that I was married, I didn't need to CD anymore. So I took my brown paper grocery bag with all my stuff (not much) & threw it in the dumpster. Turned my back on it & walked away.... I got about 20 feet away. Went back & retrieved it. Walked away with the bag about 50 feet, but a voice said NO, go throw it away.. so back to the dumpster & threw it in again but deeper this time. Walked away without it. Made it about 100 feet & I said, What Have I done.. Went back, climbed INTO the dumpster, and got my bag of stuff back. That day I went back 1 more time, threw it in & left it. I just hope no one was watching my indecision. But the urge to dress is strong & within a few years, I had a bag of new "stuff".
You mentioned in post #8 that there were no CDs in your area... I think that you would be surprised. I have found that we live everywhere. Just check out our profiles & see where we are. I think that you'll find somebody close to you.
To AngelaKelly<3 in Scotland, I would be sick too if I lost such a beautiful dress..
Hugs, Connie Marie
I've purged a couple of times, only serious ones involved moves, and it has been so long since the last one that realistically, the stuff wouldn't fit me now.
And 12 thousand? Was that a typo? I doubt I've spent $12,000 on clothes of all types over the course of my life.
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
I've purged more times than I can count, but I never got to accumulate that much. Hopefully that is over for good now.
Donna Jean
Yes of course I have purged over the years a number of times. I always regretted it at some point. The real battle is between wishing you could be someone other than who you are and trying to be someone who you are not by imposing a socially acceptable version of yourself. In a society where a rationally (if I can use that word in this context) harmless activity receives such censure and ridicule one can side with the irrational and reject who you are or you can ally yourself with the rational
Weigh that against the sense of self betrayal that you suppress when you purge and the self rejection that purging represents. Can that path truly lead to a happy life? A very difficult path to support.
We all have different lives and we each do our best to adapt our desires to our circumstances...part of the human condition...so I'm not preaching 'the way.' I've lived too long to not have learned humility.
But if you can accept yourself as you truly are and embrace it, at whatever level you are comfortable with, you really are on the side of the angels.Truly the argument for accepting yourself in all your facets (and the problems that gives rise to) is a hard one to trump.
As for me, to paraphrase Charlton Heston (a real girly girl as we all know) you can have my 'stuff' when you pry it from my cold dead hands.
Last edited by kelly10; 01-05-2014 at 12:16 AM.
I've purged 3 or 4 times and each time regretted it, losing many special things. My first purge contained the first two outfits I ever wore out and my last included hundreds of photos. Lucky for me there is great file recovery software out there. Sadly, the outfits are gone forever but the memories of wearing them strong as ever. I never purged 100% but always kept a few things around.
Next time, I'm going with the wonderful idea of packing it away.
What a lucky lady you are!No Never, my wife would kill me if I threw all the stuff out she has bought me.
I have only purged once. My mom found a few of my bras and asked me to explain myself. I made some stupid excuse which I think only worried her more and she had me throw it all out. At the time I was a bit upset, but I'm kinda glad now. I've since accumulated a bigger collection and live on my own, so I no longer worry about people finding my stuff. I also keep a small "essentials" collection in a locked firesafe in case of emergency.
I did the purge only once back when I was in college and I totally regretted it. I made a promise to myself that I would never purge everything again and just to hopefully find someone someday that will accept this part of me.
I mainly miss my boots and shoes..........for me, it's so challenging finding a comfortable fit so having a bit of a boot/shoe fetish, that's the wardrobe item that really helps me complete my fem feel. Wish I could correct my mistakes........but hopefully I'll learn from the past and others.
