Hi girls,
Last week I finally allowed myself to be a girl. I even went outdoor dressed as Irena. It felt wonderful!
Finally I felt like I was myself. But since last week my emotions are running high. I want to be Irena again. But at the moment i cannot be Irena. I told my boyfriend that I like to cross dress. He accepts it as long as it will not be too often. I can clearly that he has a difficult time with it. I think that I will have to take small steps. At the moment I feel a bit locked up again. When my boyfriend isn’t at home I’ am surfing the internet for how to be a girl. But I really feel like I’ am doing something I am not allowed too. When I am in bed I feel like I want to scream! I feel locked up with myself. I am even crying. Today I went to my doctor to talk about it. I was so nervous about it. But she responded quite open. I cried a lot. She said I will need some professional help with my journey. She said she will also make an appointment at the transgender department. Anyway a lot of mixed feelings.
X, Irena
