New rules for 2014

[Jackie F]

Since the beginning the rules have been stay in the back of the house or if we are together the room would need to be dark. I have always been honest with my SO which I believe has really slowed my progression into fem. 2014 starts a new beginning for Jackie not sure how far I will take it I have no desire for the world to know. Since December I have bought my first breast forms, two dresses, heels, and yoga pants. The SO and I will be together and out all day today. I am thinking of wearing panties, pantyhose and painting the toe nails for the first time ever outside the house. For the first time I don"t think I will tell my SO so we can both enjoy the day. I receive so much comfort and strength from this forum. WISH ME LUCK

[Cynthia Anne]

I think if I had never been dishonest with my wife I don't believe I would even consider starting a new year off being dishonest with her! I think you will need a lot more then ''good luck''!

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe you can push the envelope a bit but don't be downright deceitful.
All the best.

[CarlaWestin]

I'm sorta' drawn on this one as I'm in a similar situation. I've underdressed often even though I know my wife would disapprove and turn it into the big effing issue of the day, if she knew. So, even though I would love to have that, pie in the sky, accepting relationship, I still just don't tell her stuff. Whenever something becomes an issue, I just say, "I thought we were at DADT?" I think you need to establish a baseline with your SO and try to color inside the lines as best you can. The stance of, I'm JUST GOING TO DO THIS, always ends badly.

And of course, YMMV

[Lorileah]

wow. Two things jump to my mind. 1) you are really consciously thinking of lying and sneaking around to your wife? And 2) how selfish.

This sounds like you are tempting your wife to be mad at you. How does the saying go, "if mama ain't happy..."? You have (had...and this will come to pass) a relationship that had a little compromise...now you want to push that to no compromise at all? That is where she is likely to go. Thus begins the sneaking and hiding which usually makes the SO think your sneaking and hiding is another woman.

Do you see the flagpersons here who are waving the flag to tell you this is going to be a train wreck if you don't stop?

[Jaylyn]

If you want things to start and go from crap to poop just start being dishonest. Keep em informed and things will work out one way or the other.

[Requal Jo]

Dishonesty and hiding will get you nowhere Jackie. It will take you from the frying pan into the fire. My wife was not accepting of my CDing when informed, however taking small steps and small changes over time my wife has become more accepting and less apprehensive about having Requal around. Slow and steady wins the race.

[LaraPeterson]

Jackie, I say go for it! If you get the vibe that you need to tell her before you go out, while you are out, after you get home, or never; that's your business. This is NOT a big deal. The truth always finds its way out, anyhow. Believe me, I know the deception thing.

Before anyone reads this and gets their panties in a wad, in your situation, I'd probably let her in on it in advance; after all, if you are underdressing, it's just like being in a dark room. Noone is going to see it anyway and you might just get some satisfaction out of it.

Either way you go, or don't go at all, good luck!

[Jackie F]

Well I did go out as described and did not for warn the wife. About two hours in she said my walk was different and I seemed overly happy. (In 25 years of marriage I have never been able to hide anything from her.)
She was only slightly shocked when I told her and said she knew this was coming one day. We both had a GREAT day!
In December the wife and I had a BIG discussion about my dressing, I said I did not think it was right for me to have to ask permission. She agreed she would work on acceptance instead of just allowing.
I know I will be walking a thin line however I will take it slow, I will always think of my wife and her comfort level, I will always think of my family then I will move Jackie in a forward motion!!!!!!!
2014 will be a better year!!

[Marcelle]

Hi Jackie,

I am glad it worked out for you in the end. Which only confirms that honesty is probably the best policy when it comes to your wife. So you have pushed the envelop and won . . . CONGRATS but from what I read, I think your wife is moving toward acceptance and being honest in what you want to do is best from this point forward. This will allow you to both share the journey (remember, you are a couple and relationships thrive on selflessness). Besides as you said after 25 years of marriage you can't hide anything from her.

Move forward in 2014 but allow her to move with you. So . . . don't run down the end of field and expect her to keep up.

Hugs

Isha

[Jackie F]

Thank you Isha

The plan has always been togetherness, I am just looking for new avenues.