How I explained my actions to my GG.

[MsJoann]

She's known about my passion for years but even now at times still doesn't understand. A small percentage of clothing is kept in my closets and drawers. She has gotten over the underwear/bra/lingerie thing....but still brings up the "But why?" question.
This may work for some of you...maybe it can be re-arranged to suit your needs. I always answer with this statement...

("Dear, since I have no BASEMENT/CELLAR/GARAGE to set up my trains, or woodworking things, I enjoy dolling myself up...THAT is my hobby".)
It seems to work and it gives her some reassurance.
Granted she still wants her man, I also supply that end of it too.
She's seen a couple pics of me but still is kinda 50/50 support wise.
Good thing I never told her that I've been out in public dressed, lol.

[Maggie O'neal]

Thanks Ms Joann , I have thought of using the same logic with my wife ! Wish me luck ! (when I gather the courage)

[MsJoann]

I find that being honest is the best way to go. Getting caught is not pleasant for sure, but a good explanation/answer and re-assurance is a lot better in a confrontation situation....
Oh yes, it helps to not have a basement! LOL

[Debra Russell]

My SO asks the same thing "WHY" and all I can say is I don't know and always have like ladies clothes and it feels good (not sexual). She knows where all my "stuff" is and all my clothes are in the closet and sometimes we share - but she still wants to know WHY........................Debra

[Stephanie47]

Don't answer her question of why by correlating cross dressing as a hobby to playing with trains or model building. I build plastic military models and my wife sees them. She knows I cross dress. She does not understand why I like to do it. I told her the truth. I do NOT know why I like to wear women's clothing. I told her what feelings cross dressing brings. For me it is primarily a stress reliever. Telling her what cross dressing does for you do NOT answer the question of why. I am a heterosexual male who really enjoys being a man and acting like a man. I do not want to become a woman.

Unless you can figure out what compels you to wear women's clothing just tell her you do not know.

[Rachael Leigh]

Girls this all sounds so familiar to me, I have my clothes in a closet where she can see them, not her closet mind you but she knows what I have and has asked why so much stuff. Which in reality it's just about 4 or 5 complete outfits but I don't know how to answer other than I just like the styles. Her biggest issue is bras and makeup and wig if it's just the clothes I like and still not sure how to answer that either. If I had the answers I don't even think I would be dressing, I mean maybe but prob not.

[Jenniferathome]

Is it really a hobby for you? I think cross dressing is very different from "hobbies." My hobbies are not IN me. CDing is.

[DonnaT]

What ever works for you.

My wife has seen me drop hobbies, and would expect me to be able to quit if I told her it was a hobby.

Instead I told her I was born this way, with the long explanation that goes with it.

[Wildaboutheels]

It's FACT and well documented. CDing IS a hobby for most CDers. The plethora of all those other CD sites speaks volumes.

The trouble for most GGs is that THEIR programming simply does not allow [for their own good] them to be so easily turned on by their VISION which allows men such easy Os. Little wonder that most of them can never possibly understand.

And just maybe those females who are far more visual than normal GGs are better able to accept?

An easy guess is that IF females were able to get to O land easier by putting on clown shoes, most every store would be selling clown shoes right beside the batteries.

HOBBY is not a bad word.

[PaulaQ]

It's FACT and well documented. CDing IS a hobby for most CDers. The plethora of all those other CD sites speaks volumes.

So's drinking - just ask the guys at the bar. They can quit any time.

But if it makes you feel better to view it that way, then more power to you.

Sorry girls, I calls 'em likes I sees 'em.

[Rachelakld]

Don't worry, in about 200 years some well paid doctor will have a theory (probably an incorrect one) why, so hang tight and chill until then.

[cdsara]

I explained it fills a void of something missing in me and maybe part of it is the desire to look pretty and be desired. Nor sure and may never be, which drives her nuts.

[Kristy 56]

My SO asks the same thing "WHY" and all I can say is I don't know and always have like ladies clothes and it feels good (not sexual). She knows where all my "stuff" is and all my clothes are in the closet and sometimes we share - but she still wants to know WHY........................Debra

Debra, you hit the nail right on the head,at least in my case. My wife couldn't understand why,and neither could I. And I don't think I ever will know either.

' t

[Kate Simmons]

My GF has never asked me "why". When I tell her I'm going out en femme, she just says "have fun and enjoy yourself". Works for me.

[Chickhe]

I refuse to answer questions about why I feel a certain way... It would be like getting asked, why do you like the color blue or why do you like peanut butter?... I just enjoy it, I don't know why. My answer is 'because I can'.

[kelliboots]

Hobby is such a dangerous word..implies you don't physically and mentally need it to feel complete. You can quit doing a hobby, but you can't quit being a great person who is a crossdresser.

[LaraPeterson]

Hobby, alternative lifestyle, excuse for "non-manliness," relaxation method, queerness, you name it, someones used it as yet another label. Think I'll do some research on how many labels there are to describe us. Bet there are hundreds if not more.

[Cheryl T]

I could use that reasoning if I wished, but mostly ... it's not a "hobby" for me. It's a part of me, not something I do for fun.

[Glenda58]

It's not a hobby. I've had hobbies that I've started and stopped and never went back to. This is something that's in you makes you feel good. Something that will never stop no matter how old you get. It will be with you till the day you die. It makes you the person that you are. You see thing different than other people because you can see things both as a man and a woman.

[LauraOTN]

It's that (what Glenda said), but to me it's like the lust part of my brain is short-circuited with my self-image. I want to possess at least some of beauty I see when I see a beautiful woman. I want to feel pretty.

[anonymousinmaryland]

Good subject. Enjoying all of the replies.

[anna kate]

Wife has gotten beyond the "Why" question, just tolerates my CDing. Besides, I have a basement and garage to set up my trains and woodworking stuff.
Liked Lauras' answer though.

[ambigendrous]

My wife asked "Why?" early on after I told her, and the response I gave, that she totally understood, was "Why do you like to wear jeans and Tshirts, or sweats?" her reply was "Because they make me feel comfortable". I told her it's the same with me - I'm comfortable in lingerie, skirts, tops, etc. She fully accepts that, and we often joke about how we each get "comfortable" in the evening after a long day!

[Julie Gaum]

Reading all the opinions answering the question of "Why?' is, in it self, healthy, though there are now more detailed explanations-hypothesis-theories out there; a few of which make perfect sense. However, my back goes up when anyone, including the gender professionals, might say that "the FACTS are such and such". Doubt if any professional would dare offer their views by starting that way. Some of us have read more or have had more personal experiences than others so it's understandable to cite statistics that aren't that at all --- only a tiny sampling of the huge varities found in our community. So I beg you, if it applies, when offering figures you have developed please include a disclaimer on how you arrived at those figures, and if not able then "IMO it's such and such"
Julie
Julie.

[Jacky Aikou]

Joann, I agree with AnonymousinMaryland on this being a good topic. Just calling our feminine ambitions a hobby doesn't quite seem to do them justice, but I suppose "hobby" can cover anything from a casual pastime to a passionate obsession. If it works for you and your GF (and it keeps her from purging more of your stuff!!) I say go with it.

My wife isn't enthusiastic about my gender-bending, but she tolerates and even supports me somewhat. I explained my CDing to her like this: in simplest terms, it's just playing dress-up. A girl's wardrobe and makeup is such a palette - you can dress pretty or proper, flirty or glamorous or sexy - way more than our guy's clothes allow.
But at a deeper level, though, I tell her it's a way to express an innate part of me I've had to repress since I was a little kid. To emulate, just for a little while, the fashion and manner of femininity that I've admired so long. It's just one aspect of me that I need to unleash from time to time.