When the wife/so purges for you.

[MsJoann]

Upon dissolution of my business, I had many people helping me clean out fill the dumpster. My GF was one helper. (idiot me) she found two boxes of beautiful shoes....went into the dumpster....
as well as a couple other boxes. Things were going at a head-spin rate and I couldn't watch everything.
My surpirse came came when I saw my makeup/jewelry box in the dumpster. Clandestinely, I removed it and put it in my truck. Seems weeks later, she helped me clean out my truck....found the box and slipped into the garbage bag without me seeing.
That was HORROR!
My advise....don't keep your "stuff" in the open...I was lazy and paid the price, now gotta re-build.

[Stephanie47]

I've been married for forty years plus. However, if I had a girl friend who decided to dump my wardrobe of femme items, I'd kick HER ass to the curb. That's a load of crap.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I went through this about 30 years ago. My first wife (now my ex) took it upon herself to fill a garbage bag with all of my nice clothes and a beautiful wig before I came back home after a brief separation. Let me say it was traumatic. I'm very happy today knowing that she's history, and I have a wonderful accepting wife today. If there is any purge now, she helps me to clean the closet of things that don't fit or work for me anymore. Then we shop!

Cheryl Ann

[cdsara]

Mine found my makeup and threw it away while I was gone one day and then waited to see if I missed it. I found it in the trash can when I took a bag out that night but never said a word.

[Teresa]

To most of us it's not just the material things that are being dumped, they belong to a part of you, and part of you is being unceremonioulsy dumped in a dumpster! That's got to hurt!

[Talisker]

Letting her do that once without saying anything is bad enough but you let her do that twice

Why didnt you go and throw some of her stuff out? Or at least hide it. That would get the message across.

[Wildaboutheels]

Seems simple enough to me. She has adopted a DADT policy with you and extended that to "don't leave your stuff where I will see/find it".

Her stance looks pretty clear cut to me! I think you should count your blessings.

And go and find and read the [past] thread about creative ways or places to hide your stuff.

[Zylia]

Count what blessing exactly? Having a wife that throws away your stuff? Hey, what do I know, I don't have a 'wife' and I'm only 29, maybe this is how adults deal with their (relationship) problems. And as we all know, every cross-dresser stops buying new stuff and perhaps even cross-dressing altogether if you dispose their old stuff, right?

[Kristy 56]

Did she already know that you were a CD ? Did she anything at all to you? If you haven't talked about it with her yet,maybe you should. Seems likethere's a few issues here.

[Rachelakld]

If my wife or kids throw out any of my girl stuff, there would be words said, which often happens when they forget to return my skirts and makeup

[LaraPeterson]

Pissy isn't it Joann, when my wife found out about me (through my own ignorance/carelessness) she also discovered a little "treasure trove" and promptly destroyed it. I don't mean she simply put it in the trash, she cut it all up in little pieces and then threw it out. I didn't blame her for her emotional reaction as I had hidden this from her for years. That's the "chance" we take sometimes, isn't it.

Go rebuild your wardrobe, be happy you can, and do a better job of concealment the next time. Or, just come out to her and everyone around you and you won't have to hide it anymore. You'll just have to leave town.

[Annaliese]

I left a top out last summer, my oldest granddaughter was visiting, she is 14 and like over size clothes, she saw the top and ask my wife if she could borrow it. She like it so much my wife gave it to her. My wife said put your thing up if you don't want to loose them. It does give me at kick that my granddaughter is wearing a blouse of mine.

[gautier_nikolai]

Sorry to hear she acted so childish.I'd throw something (not necessarily clothes) that she really likes.Adults don't behave like that.

They generally ask first; the first mistake in the rush of things coulld be excueed but the make-up box in your truck too?

She obviously doesn't understand that.Maybe she would if she was on the receiving end.

[Jacky Aikou]

Joanne, I hope that book I leant you wasn't among the stuff that got tossed!!

Just kidding, of course - trying to make light of an awful situation.
That was quite a mean thing your GF did..!

[KimberlyJean]

A long time ago my wife would throw out anything she found while I was gone, now she realizes that just costs us more money and she leaves it alone. She still doesn't want to see me wearing it but I think she likes to keep track of what I have.

[Maria in heels]

Joann....sorry to hear that you lost your things....did you ever get the shoes out of the dumpster?

[Leslie Langford]

MsJoann, in your post you don't make it clear if your GF did this out of vindictiveness or as a result of over-zealous de-cluttering on her part.

Being the frugal and recycling-minded type myself, if the latter, I would wonder why she didn't have the foresight or civic-mindedness to donate these items to Goodwill, the Salvation Army or the like so that someone else less fortunate (maybe even another needy CDer ) could at least have gotten some more use out of them.

Are you sure she's a "keeper", unlike what those shoes ended up being?...

[Beverley Sims]

My wife purposely purged for me "once" only.

She has not done it again.

[DahliaLeigh]

I am a gg and I did the opposite for my SO. I guess she went out in femme and maybe had an upsetting experience (still dont know, still wont tell me) she came home switched into guy clothes and threw everything in the dumpster. It was too far down to grab so i had to back the jeep up climb INSIDE get all of it and then figure out how to get my fat but out (so much gross omg eww) I went in the house tossed it all down and said You always rebuy after purging Im ****ing sick of it if you ever waste money by throwing things out again Im going to go insane! Now she has a fairly decent wardrobe and doesnt throw things out

[franlee]

I wonder if my wife would purge for her next husband? She would be getting a chance to soon enough, I don't know that she would call me and let me know though.

[MissTee]

I can respect that some spouses/SO's/GF don't agree with what we do. Not everyone can be fully accepting. I can even handle a recommendation that I put it away or otherwise conceal it. However, taking my stuff without my consent and suddenly deciding you can make decisions to ditch it is an absolutely unacceptable violation. I would worry if I allowed her to get away with that, then what's next?