how worried are you about being caught?

[Ellie52]

I wear a sarong (skirt) around the house and my son and neighbours dont care. I wear ladies stockings (knee high) to work and again they dont care. What else is there to wear?
I would say a 5. I wouldnt like people at wortk to know I wear more tthat the stockings but my son doesnt seem to care what I do.
My wife see's the full Ellie and is happy to let me be her. She even insists I dress in a skirt/dress etc for breakfast (about an hour a day) as long as our son is at work as it puts me in a good mood for work.)

[Lygophilia]

I guess there would be certain guidelines on to wear or not to wear at work (more to men), but my work place tend to be more accepting to diversity. However, everyone wears uniforms. If you crossdress and shop on your day off (don't really like their clothes), then it's not a problem. I see a fair to big number of crossdressers that are customers at work. Other than that, it would be a 1.

[lesli]

maybe like a 5 most of the time, then there are the rush of terror and panic attacks where it's like a 8 or 9, but most of the time it's like a 5--moderate
hugs,
lesli

[Talisker]

Im less worried than my SO.
Dont care about general public - 0. Actually can be fun being read and talking to people.
Neighbours / Work - Both 5 since a neighbour is also from work.
Parents - 7. Old and wouldnt understand.

Would be embarasaing for a while but not end of world. The older and more financially secure i get the less I care what others think.

[JocelynJames]

I can't even begin to gage it-the wife knows and no one else but here. With all brothers and a99% male employee work force where I work , it's a wonder I where panties daily. I have to constantly be checking where my pants and shirt have fallen and risen to respectively . Ugh -I guess I'll go with peoe I know an 8-9 and everyone one else I don't really give a damn?

[Patty F]

Probably a 5. I worry that someone I know will find out but the other side of me wants everyone to know so that I can ware what ever I want when I go out. I worry about the homophobic guys that are some how threatened with what I do.

[Jenniferathome]

I used to be afraid of being caught by my wife until I told her. Now, I just do not think being "caught" is a possibility. I think the only way would for a friend to see me and my gift together and make the connection. As a result, we do not go out together in my home town. So my rating is about a 2

[Karmen]

10 - Anyone at work
9 - Family and friends
6 - General public. But only because of possibility that some of them can know people from upper 2 categories and could tell them what they saw. Otherwise I don't care about strangers and what they think of me. The other problem are mobile phones with good photocameras build in. Just one photo at inappropriate time and you can be doomed. That's also why I try to avoid bars, shops and other well-lit places and go out fully dressed only when is already dark.

[5150 Girl]

If you're going to be out, you're eventually going to be seen by people you know, even if you're out of town.

[Dianne S]

As others have said, it depends by whom. People I don't know: 1 or 2. I don't care.

Work colleagues and friends: That could be a bit sticky. Maybe 6 or 7.

My kids: 10. I am absolutely not ready for them to know.

[Mistyjo]

JessMe I also live in a small town pop. around 1000 i have gone out dressed and no one gave me a second look. i know every place is different but i would still rate it for me at a 5

[Lacey New]

Like most, I think it depends on who catches me. For the pleasant sales associate in a store 200 miles from where I live and work, my concern is maybe a 1. If she remarks to a less tolerant friend or customer or someone that I don't know but who might be tempted,to make a big deal out of it, maybe a 5. For family, friends and coworkers, 10.

[Vanessa5]

After coming out to my wife the only place I am truly worried about being "caught" is at work. I have gone out and no one seemed to even care.

[natcrys]

It depends, I don't mind getting read when I'm out and about, but I don't want to get caught by my parents or extended family members.

Seeing as I choose to not go out in my own city and the neighbouring cities (where many of my family members live), I'm not too worried, so that would mean a 1 or 2.

[Lorileah]

Like April I am at zero. Even before I started to transition I was at zero. really what is anyone going to do. If friends don't like it, I can get new friends. If family doesn't like it, they fail as part of a family (you should not judge those who are blood...right?). My fear was clients, but then I thought why should they care, I do a better than average job for them (and that has come true.) Random people on the street...no care at all. Colleagues, these would be the same ones who have secrets and skeletons (again I am better than average at my job and I don't cheat people).

So who (or whom) do we fear. Have a mirror handy? Your own demons. Your own prejudices. Your own feelings of inadequacy or learned stereotype.

Understand that I am my own boss so if my clients had thought I was somehow not adequate for the job, it was on me. So I can see where, especially in this economy, you would keep this from your employer. You should NEVER keep it from your SO (live a DADT life, but she has to know). I came to my own realization after years of hiding and fighting myself. Where you draw the line is up to you. But you should accept yourself first. After that you can decide who else to tell.

[Lady Catherine]

I could care less who sees me. I stopped caring awhile ago. My wife on the other hand, is supportive but afraid of what people think. She says she would hate to have to kick some ones butt because they said something bad about me. I'm trying to get her to relax.

[MsVal]

Two of my life's principles:
(1) Don't do anything you'd be ashamed to see on the front page of the newspaper.
(2) I'm at that age where I really don't care what other people think about me, some will love me, some will not, and that's okay.

Now, there are some people that I care deeply about that would be very unhappy. I love these people and do not want to be the cause of their unhappiness.

[JessicaColeridge]

I am a little scared, but it kind of adds to the naughtiness of it all. It's my little secret that gives me lots of joy. It would be nice to not have to plan weeks in advance for when
I can play!!

[Rosabella]

I don't wear anything on the outside when out there in the world that shouts "female." So I don't get frightened when out there. I do wear female jeans/pants daily out there, but so far no one has said, those look like women's pants. Are they? So I am relaxed about that. I wear makeup daily, but only what my consultants all tell me doesn't shout "female." So far no one out there has told me my makeup looks like I am trying to look female, and I wear a lot of different makeup. I would be terrified at this time to actually dress more feminine on the outside and be outed. The ladies at work know there is a feminine part of me and seem okay with it. My wife knows about my proclivity to wear female items. She has just begun counseling partially to help her accept me as I am in this way. My biggest fear might be what my adult sons would say/think if they saw me dressed like a female. I'm not worried at all about wearing female undergarments on a daily basis, except when I go to a health professional. But... what if I have an injury or accident and end up in ER with my female undergarments on... Oh well, I imagine they've seen it all before.

But part of me wants to tell others about this part of me, but just the others who I know would be accepting of me. Acceptance seems somewhat important to me.

[curvyFiona]

Luckily I live far from my family so there is no chance of running into them. The only people I know that I could run into are coworkers I guess. Anyway, I usually don;t go to crowded places and if I do I don't wear clothes that stand out.

[bomba]

if i was out and strangers outed me....so what i would play the part of a hot woman. if my kids or familiy found out i would be devastated.

[Adriana Moretti]

dont jinx me..............

[JennyLynn]

I would say it depends on who catches you. A complete stranger...less than a 1. My wife...maybe a 7. My gossipy neighbors... probably a 9. I doubt my wife would leave me, but it would be an interesting exchange of comments. I don't go out in public except the back yard early in the morning when it's still dark. It is kind of exciting to think maybe someone would see me, but how would they know it's me and not some girl that is maybe visiting? Not to toot my own horn, but I pass quite nicely for a lady!

[Angela Campbell]

At one time I was so afraid of being found out. I went through so much to keep this secret. I was married twice and neither one knew. 50 years. Eventually I came to the point where I had to transition and this fear was the only thing in my way. I had to overcome it, and that was the single most difficult and frightening thing I have ever faced.

Interestingly it turns out that mostly the fear was for nothing. Most are either accepting or just do not care. I was never caught, I told everyone who knew me. Now I live as a woman.

[PretzelGirl]

I would like to say it is a zero, but I am a natural worry wart, so I have trouble working that out of my system. I'd say all friends that I regularly see know and about half my family that is in the area. So maybe about a 2-3 as I would rather tell the rest of the family and work then get found out. It just makes better sense. But I am also prepared for it if it happens and I have thought it through and I am really okay if it goes that way. It doesn't stop that tendency to worry though. Now for that plan to tell them.....