Crossdressing and the loner.

[suzy1]

I just had to come back one more time after reading all your comments!

We have comments here saying I am really lonely, not a loner.
We have comments saying I am really an ‘introvert’
One member saying I am just isolating myself from human contact by having friends in cyberspace.[that one made me smile]
A member saying I am only a loner until I fall in love and then I will realize that I was not a loner but lonely before I met my ‘one true love’
And several that read my thread understood it because they are also blessed [yes, I did say blessed] with being a loner.
Alice says she is a loner but must have her cats. That makes you a cat lover Alice, not a loner.
We have one member that commented three times criticising my definition of ‘loner’ that apparently has little or no grasp of the English language whatsoever but is convinced that she is an expert linguist? [Gave up on that one]

But a refreshing number of comments from members that understood because they have the one thing you need to be able to understand what it means to be a loner.
To understand what it is to be a loner you need to be……..a loner, like me.

[CynthiaD]

Yes, I'm a loner. I'm a scientific researcher, and this sort of work requires one to be alone with one's thoughts for extended periods of time. But it's my nature that brought me to this profession, not the other way around.

[Princess Grandpa]

Not so much a loner as socially awkward. I find your description of a loner very much how I see myself in many ways. However, I think that's more because I feel awkward and uncomfortable in social situations not because I prefer to be alone

Hug
Rita

[KellyJameson]

“I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel." Audrey Hepburn

Being a lover of solitude comes from the love of having a relationship "just with the self".

I would never give this up because to do so would be to lose myself.

[grace7777]

I am a loner. I am very comfortable being alone and and have even spent many holidays alone. Now at times it is nice to socialize with others. As a child I had a very had time making friends. Also, I tend to be on the shy side. Many people were amazed a few years ago when I traveled to Europe and while there traveled all alone. For me I am just very comfortable being alone. Also, I do chat with.others online.

[ArleneRaquel]

As a male I would consider myself something of a loner, as a female I am more outgoing by far. A "limited loner" may be a more apt description of me, by which I mean I can be alone or with others, as a female I'm more wanting to be with someone or even a group.

[KimCal]

I'm a loner as well. Seems we uncovered a somewhat common trait here? Or, maybe it's simply easier to dress if one keeps to themselves?

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am a loner too Always have been socially awkward and misunderstood, always tended to keep to myself.

[melanie206]

Being a loner is probably an advantageous condition for people like us since our favorite behavior is restricted by the real or imagined attitudes of others. Looking at the bigger picture, we are becoming a nation of loners - less church, less bowling, McMansion neighborhoods with no sidewalks, consolidation of the media, the emphasis of violence and fear of others in entertainment and of course the way we use the internet. It's always good to ask why these are trends and who benefits.

[Jordan]

I would say you hit me right on the head with this thread as i feel that way also

[Joanncdnj]

Have to agree, I'm a loner. I have friends, work in a team atmosphere, but deal with my insecurities best alone. Will they notice my eyebrows..... did I get all the polish off.... are the marks still there from the earrings..... panty lines.... shaved legs..... the list goes on and on....

[Allisa]

Loner a term I haven't been called in quite some time almost forgot what I was thanks for the conformation.

Bye-Bye Lisa

[sometimes_miss]

Not always loner by choice; initially, as a kid I was outcast because of my appearance, and had very few friends, often, only one, and that one was taking advantage of me for his own purposes. I had the deformity corrected, and gained friends and relationships. As I grew older, I discovered many of my friends weren't very nice people, to others, to me, even to their family. And I discovered that many were not exactly accepting of TG people, either. So now I'm down to a very few, and spend most of my time outside of work, alone. And I'm fine with that, I guess I got used to it all those years as a kid. Sure, I need companionship once in a while, but can go days or weeks without it completely.

[Christen]

You are either built this way or you are not kim. Simple as that. You can't become a loner.
I too have a family that I love. But I can and do go for days sometimes without seeing anybody other than the people around me in shops and such.

I love people, I just don't need them if that makes sense?

Got me to a tee, there Suzy. Always been that way. Always felt like I didn't quite fit in, but that was absolutely OK.

Christen x

[rita63]

I have to agree with Lynn Marie, I love to entertain and am starting to learn to flirt. I have some very good friends whom I have known for over 40 years and only 1 lives near me. But I am also a person who does things by myself. When I found a trans support group I just went and walked in the door. I went to Toronto Pride last year and met some friends there and made some new ones who I marched with. I go to Toronto to visit the Art gallery by myself regularly. I have developed from an early age a sense of fearlessness, I see something I want to do and I do it without worrying about support. If I don't like something or it doesn't suit me I stop doing it. I am out there for me.
I admit my dressing has been something I kept in the closet until recently but I always accepted it as a normal natural part of myself.
And like Alice I always have at least one cat and often more.
Kim I used to think it was easier to dress by myself. But since joining a support group and getting out dressed I have found a new part of myself and a new freedom in being more myself. unfortunates I now have two lives that I will bring together soon.

hugs. rita

[Sharon B.]

Loner here too and still in the closet but would like to find someone who wouldn't mind me going out with them as a woman. I would really like to start going out shopping as one.

[lovetobedani]

I've always been a loaner. I really never "fit" anywhere in particular. As a child I wasn't athletic enough to compete with the boys nor was I quite a girl. To this day I fell like I don't belong with either males or female but do understand and identify more with females than males. In the past I've been called a frustrated housewife by females.

I'm happy to find many others like me in this forum and hope to establish some real friendships some time.