CDing, emotions and traits - ALL RESPONSES WELCOME, GGs INCLUDED

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

WOW the amount of well thought out and reflective responses to this thread have amazed and honoured me . . . Thanks.

It is funny, after I posted this thread I had to run off to and play in my old day job (those of you who have read my older posts know which day job I am talking about) taking on the role of a very stoic, non empathetic person. By the end of the day I was emotionally drained. Specifically, I had to mask all the emotions I have been cultivating "en boy" and just be a really, really mean %&$#@. In a way it was extremely hard to keep that façade up and when I got home I was able to revert back to nice me. However, I could still see that %&$#@ hiding behind my eyes saying "Hey just let me out for awhile . . . I am sure you will like it" . Nope, put that away and went back to being me and still feel great.

Again, I thank you all for your responses and would love to reply to each but I have decided on a group thanks and a direct response to others. But the sentiment is to all.

... By CDing we "allow" ourselves to be more caring and empathetic. There is great strength in those quualities which previously many of us missed or hid due to being "in boy" as you say and trying to "fit in". There is no shame in wanting to be ourselves and those who have taken the courage to learn who they really are greatly value this.

Well said Kate and exactly what I was alluding to. If we embrace these emotions whether en boy or en girl, it goes a long way to making us whole.

. . . I have no temperamental, emotional or sexual differences between being dressed in either a dress or jeans.. So you can probably discount my opinion. I dont cry in male mode (not for 50 yrs anyway) and Ellie has never cried in my presence

Would never discount a response. For you dressing does not change who you are as you are the same both ways. Indeed as you indicate you sometimes find dressing boring and "feel silly" when trying to present. Perhaps there being no requirement to express something is what ignites this boredom and makes it less appealing than it is to others . . . not hacking on you, just saying that is all.

...For me i do feel that dressing relieves stress, however this relief comes not from being in touch with 'female' emotions which are 'denied' in male mode but from release from everyday concerns etc as you leave them behind whilst pretending to be someone else.

Very true. But it could also be that releasing the everyday concerns also allows you to express the emotional responses which go with that release.

One possible explanation of the reportedly heightened emotions may simply be the power of suggestion. If one believes that being more emotional is somehow more feminine, then they may convince themselves that thy are more emotional when en femme.

Hi Kim . . . very interesting point.

... "I don't need no steenkin' man card"

Nope, don't need one anymore. I am man, one who cries at soppy movies sometimes, isn't afraid to cuddle my cat in public, makes silly faces and plays with little kids, the whole nine yards. A complete person in other words.

Exactly and as you have accepted that, dressing as you do, is merely part of you and you feel good doing so because you can express the full range regardless of being more boy or girl in dress.

... Yesterday for instance I was just really in a bad mood couldn't put my finger on it ... I got home and I decided I want to go put on a skirt and top and just sit down and watch some tv, wow I could feel the anger and stress go away.

Hi Leigh . . . this makes sense from an emotional perspective. It is plausible your femme side is quelling the stereotypical male responses (anger/frustration) and allowing you to be more you.

Isha, I do remember being somewhat emotional as a child and had a hard time fitting in with the guys ... So either I'm more of a girl than I realize or a very sensitive guy.

Also when I'm dressed all my stress seems to disappear. Even when I don't really feel stressed and I get dressed a wonderful calm comes over me. Hugs Jaymee

Hi Jaymee. I too was a very emotional child but the military beat that out of me. Now that I have rediscovered those emotions "en boy" as well as "en girl", I have never felt more complete.

... Since accepting this part of myself, I'm no longer worried about showing my true emotions, and my rapport with others has improved by leaps and bounds. Dressing doesn't change my emotions, but it makes it vastly easier to express the emotions I do have, no matter how I am dressed.

I agree, being en femme makes it easier to express these emotions.

... I also think that what some may be experiencing, this higher feeling of calm or whatever is due to being able to dress, rather than wearing a dress, if that makes sense . . . Hey, I am more calm and more sympathetic and nicer, friendlier etc etc. I think that is a result of doing something that you cannot always do and like to do. I rarely come back from a round of golf in a bad mood.

Good point Gendermutt

I'm the same sentimental person, boy or girl.

I am with you on this one. Same for me now and I feel very comfortable with who I am boy or girl

... - my point is, this degree of expression has become more accepted, if not fully. I'm not sure that we're not just another subset representing that general trend.

Hi Katey . . . I agree but I certainly wish it would move itself along a bit faster

I agree with this and I'd like to take it one step further. I suggest that many CDers are privately even more stereotypically male (stoic?) in guy mode than are non-CDing men, and they become this way due to a strong desire to mask anything that might have others guess their hidden desires to express femininity.

Hi Reine,

Definitely IMO. When I first began to rediscover this part of me (CDing) I over compensated at work . . . super manly man, got back into UFC style fighting, volunteered for all sorts of macho type stuff. It wasn't until I let that go and incorporated the full spectrum of human emotion that I felt truly at peace with both boy me and girl me.

Hugs all

Isha