I'll have one panic attack please!

[Abigail Flame]

Has anyone ever had a panic attack right before going out or while your were out dressed?

I'll tell you why I ask.

I still have not put in an appearance in public. This partly because I am working up the nerve, and partly because it's hard to get out of the house dressed with out the kids seeing. But I have been playing around with underdressing and adding some subtle femme to my normal drab attire. My SO and I were going to poker game with some kinky friends and I decided to wear some really nice leather boots with a nice heel under my jeans. I threw them on as soon as I was in the car. Now the event itself was a perfectly safe place for me to be myself and in fact I would have probably gone entirely dressed if it wasn't for dealing with the babysitter and the fact that I didn't want to spring Abby on my friends without some prior discussion.

Well we decided to stop for sushi before hand and so I knew I would need to walk from the car to sushi place in my freaking awesome boots as well as be in the restaurant. I was totally okay with this, I mean I've been out in public in full latex for fetish events before so I am not stranger to being seen and gawked at.

So where is this leading to? Right as I am about to get off the freeway exit my chest starts to tighten and I can feel the familiar signs of a panic attack. It was mild and I worked through it by the time we found a parking space. Once I was out of the car and walking down the street I was fine and totally enjoying the moment of strolling along as my wife gave me a few pointers on walking.

Anyone experience this? How did you work through it?

[Caden Lane]

I've never been out as caden before...but that day is within sight now. But I have had panic attacks when deciding to dress due to fear of getting caught. Hearing a noise at the door, looking at a clock thinking I lost track of time. Its a terrible feeling to be sure.

[Katey888]

Abigail - great story...

So.. you've been out in 'full latex' (I can imagine... ) in public - and, you got over this attack, with the help of a super and supportive wife...

Sounds to me like you're more experienced than most of us to give advice on how to get through this - so what were you thinking between the freeway exit and the parking lot...

My inner self would have been yelling at 180 decibels: "GO BACK - BACK ON THE FREEWAY - WAIT UNTIL IT'S DARK..." or similar...

Courageous you...

Katey x

[lovetobedani]

I'm closeted as well and I have the same panic attacks as you Cadenlane. I try to dress as often as I can. Especially when I know that all are out of the house for extended periods of time. You are very lucky to have a supportive wife. Look to her for guidance.

The most important thing to do when you have an attack is to remember to breathe deeply. That will help with the tightness in your ches.

[Nadine Spirit]

I go out frequently, fully dressed, or partly dressed, or underdressed, and I have, what I can only assume are mini panic attacks. It happens all of the time, and I just work through it. Generally what happens is that some part of my brain says "this is a very bad idea and something bad is going to happen." The first few times I had to go on faith that I was wrong, which I was, and now, after many years out and about I remind myself that experience has proven those negative voices to be totally wrong.

In a way, I kind of look at it like a roller coaster I have never been on, part of me is panicked about it and part of me is excited about it. Panicked because I could die from being thrown out of the ride, but excited because most likely I will not die and instead it will just be a fun thrilling experience.

[Dianne S]

I've never had a panic attack. I have had extreme "stage fright" when going out, but it usually dissipates after a minute or two.

[Alice B]

The first few times I ventured out I had these panic attacks. Started with the usual trip to a gas station, etc. Now it is not a problem, but every time I go to DLV i will feel some panic the first time I leave my room and walk through the casino. I quickly passes and I'm fine the rest of the week and dressed 7/24. Bottom line - It's normal.

[Adriana Moretti]

I had one the other day.....so i put a paper bag over my head...no seriously..I did.

[Stephanie47]

When I was young venturing out as Stephanie seemed to be a challenge- a Mt. Everett to climb. Halloween aside because that date meant I could encounter humans and survive my angst, I started with short car trips en femme. I always dreaded the possibility of getting in a car accident. I had the breakdown/flat tire covered with a change of clothing and makeup removers.

The most uneasy I ever felt was waiting for a red light to change when a police car pulled up next to me. We exchanged glances. I was a lot younger than now. I had on full makeup and a curly blond wig. My skin was still youthful. I suspected I was passable as it was night time. I was never so happy to see that red light turn green. How cross dressers were perceived thirty years ago is not the same as today.

[Marcelle]

Hi Abigail,

Very common. I have engaged in full on firefight combat while deployed and launching myself from a place of cover under fire was far easier than launching Isha out of the car for her first day trip. I remember sitting in my car, breathing, ruminating, brush my hair, play with the radio, brush my hair again, open the door . . . oops here comes someone . . . close door pretend to brush my hair, play with radio again. I sat there for 35 minutes before finally getting out.

With more time out, it is getting better but I still have minor anxiety but once I get walking to my destination, Isha takes over and we just relax.

Hugs

Isha

[Abigail Flame]

Isha - Ha while I haven't been a firefight, I was in the army for a few years and experienced plenty of things that almost got me killed. An while I am sure I was scared at the time I don't ever recall having the lizard brain take over.

I am just worried what it will do the first time I try to go out in forms and a wig.

[GretchenJ]

Funny thing is I do suffer from some very severe panic attacks, and while I have been scared out of mind deciding to venture out as Gretchen, it have never come close to the panic attack stage...

Perhaps it was offset with the thrill that help ease my nerves

[kimdl93]

It doesn't happen so often any more, but I used to get the butterflies on those early forays... Stage fright...you never know when it may strike again.

[heatherdress]

Abigail - sounds like a wonderful, exciting adventure with a scary interruption. Glad that it worked out OK.

I have been doing the same addition of femme to my typical boring male attire and have found it fun and exciting to hear a pair of female heeled boots and other subtle femme items and touches to my basic male outfit for the day or night. Never have had any incidents or regrets. My wife even encourages it and enjoys it. I do it almost all the time, to some degree. But I have not had an anxiety attack dressed as you experienced.

I have, however, experienced panic attacks - chest pain, shortness of breath, etc. They are serious and need to be addressed. There are typically stress related and manageable. You probably know that and I am sorry if I am recommending the obvious. But please take care of you.

I did have two incidents fully dressed, however. I had a flat tire dressed in a mini and platform stilettos (I changed the tire with a supporting audience in a hotel parking lot). I also fell (not my heels fault) and actually needed an ambulance (bad hamstring injury). All treatment went matter-of-fact - uneventful.

Thanks for your military service and I am glad for the special experiences that your and your wife enjoy together.

[Nicole Erin]

I had one the other day.....so i put a paper bag over my head...no seriously..I did.

False - stores no longer offer paper bags.

For panic attacks etc - even when one goes full time it happens now and then.

[Adriana Moretti]

the paper bag was an inside joke....you would have to know me in order to get it.

[Vanessa Rose]

Abby,

All the bravery and stuff that leads to going out for many here, is no small step. I would argue that for some it is easy and for many, many more, it has various challenges; what to wear, who will see me, what will i say if's you name it.

Firstly, I would have put on the full latex fetish gear because no one would have noticed your boots

Secondly, this may not be the last time. for me it was baby steps, then more baby steps then oh what the **** no one cares... and amazingly, they could care less... that is unless you count the time I got out dressed completely in a rest stop in West Virginia...I may just have been a spectical. Bettween all the teeth falling out and people stopping in mid step to get others to look at me, it was flawlessly executed.

Third: there is no third.... get back in the saddle and ride... but I want to make this clear, these panic attacks for me, were significant... then, none.... but as you go out more and other scenarios that you didn't expect pop up and you make it through.

Hell I even learned something here when I was trying to share thoughts. Always wear full rubber/latex fetish wear out on a CD evening and I bet with the right makeup no one would even notice your heels over the cat of nine tails pastes you have swinging around the sisters with each step. Add a whip and you may be able to forget the wig as well. men never look above the sisters...just saying

Vanny (so good to be me)

[Abigail Flame]

Vanny - you know you bring up a good point. When I've gone out in latex the attention I get is much different. In fact people will actually approach and ask you about what you are wearing. Some want to touch and feel. The attention is generally positive to amused or confused.

I think too this thing or ours is much more personal to me and that might be part of the panic. And don't worry the panic attacks won't stop me I am pretty determined and I have a lot of places around her where I can go to express myself safely.

Adriana - I am sure your lovely even with a paper bag on your head. ;-)

Stephanie47 - I get nervous when a cop pulls up beside me regardless of what I am wearing.

[Rhonda Jean]

I haven't had a panic attack related to dressing, but I have had one for another reason. Much worse than just being afraid or nervous. I got on medication (Lorazapam). I still take one occasionally when I expect a particularly stressful situation. It does just what it's supposed to do, right then. No waiting weeks for it to have an effect like an antidepressant. In a half hour, you're fine.

[robindee36]

I am always a bit apprehensive when going out dressed. Likely just the nature of being PT. Once things get rolling, I always feel much more comfortable. Propably just the initial stress of switching personae.

The others here are correct, the more you do it the better the experience is. More comfort, less stress. Just those of us who exist in the closet don't get a lot of opportunities.

Hang in there girl.

Hugs, Robin

[Caden Lane]

Abigail, when a cop pulls up beside you, think that maybe they are a crossdresser. I was, was a police supervisor, lead major case detective, undercover narcotics agent and training officer over the course of fifteen years. Once you think of them as being like you, it may disarm that fear you feel. That...and don't ride dirty! LoL

[Beverley Sims]

The only panic attack I had was during a university exam.
If that is what it was I never want another one.
I get a little stressed sometimes if I am going out close to home but otherwise no problems.