How did you accept yourself

[PaulaQ]

I accepted myself when I really realized and understood that I was powerless over my gender. I don't control it - it IS me. I became willing to explore it where ever it led me - to the point where I'm now transitioning. For many here, it means a far shorter journey, to accepting that they will partially or fully present as a woman anywhere from rarely, to quite frequently.

As for the opinions of others - they just don't matter. Yes, it's worrisome that you could lose relationships over this. But consider:
1. You likely have plenty of real character defects that can end a relationship
2. This isn't your character defect - the lack of acceptance is the rest of the world's character defect.

[suchacutie]

Self acceptance is a universal problem for everyone! Simply accepting that any of our thoughts/opinions are valid in comparison to those of our mentors is a huge challenge. That first time you find out your parents are wrong about something is a very difficult moment. Some people are mentally subservient to 'authority' for their entire lives.

Now we add our transgenderism to the mix and it can be incredibly confusing.

My advice is to try and separate/identify those people who you are reluctant or unable to question and ask yourself why that situation exists in each case. You might consider someone smarter or more saavy or more worldly, but remember you are as worthy as they are to have opinions and ideas. The ideas of others can be very useful, and you might want adopt their positions if you find them valid, but no one is perfect to the point of worship.

Luckily, I was past my time of learning about and accepting my own self worth before we discovered Tina. As a result my wife and I were simply fascinated that she had been there all that time (I was 55). We accepted Tina as s simply fact and moved on to trying to figure out whi she was/is!.

So, if you are like me, working you general acceptance of yourself will help with your femme self.

Best wishes.

[Milou]

Thank you for all the responses, it's nice to read them. I guess it will take some time.

Go to the pictures page and look at the boy/girl section. See all of the boys out there that do exactly the same thing that you do. They could be your neighbor, your brother, your buddy. These are all good people with normal, healthy, productive lives.

Where is the pictures page? I can't seem to access it, even though I have 10 posts.

Sounds like you're about twenty years old, right?

Bingo

[erica12b]

Day by day , erica is never going to go away , so its day by day

[Cheryl T]

After decades of berating myself, second guessing everything, feeling guilty and so very odd I finally came to the realization that this in not something I do, it's who I am. In order to maintain sanity I said the heck with everyone else, I have to be me and express who I am in all my facets. I just couldn't continue on the path I was walking...it was leading to the crazy farm and I was not going to walk in all that manure in my heels....lol

[melissakozak]

Thousands of dollars of therapy, time, tears, and finally, a giving up process that allowed me to accept myself as trans woman....finally there....whew....Melissa.

[JamieTG]

Growing up in the 50's and 60's society was telling me I was weird, perverted, an abomination, ect. And with no internet back then, I thought I was the only one like this. It made me think I was a bad person and ruined my self esteem. It was until my late 40's that I finally decided its never going to change, its OK to be different, and I'm going to stop beating myself up over it. Once I started telling close friends and family, I was shocked that I didn't lose any friends and my family still loved me. It was a long road but I finally reached self acceptable and much better self esteem.