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Thread: New to this forum

  1. #1
    New Member
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    Feb 2014
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    New to this forum

    Hello,
    I am joining this discussion because there has always been some mental confusion about gender, gender roles and what is real for me. I've always lived as a female, but have never liked getting dressed up to go out. I wear pants to work and for most other times. Men's pants don't fit, but I wear jeans and other pants with flies. Men's shirts often do fit me and I have both "blouses" and shirts in my closet.

    Having grown up at the time of the resurgence of the women's movement, I was further confused in identity. I am married to a male cross dresser. We recently have been talking about how well suited we are to one another because of our feelings about gender and gender roles and appearance.

    I don't necessarily want to change much about my appearance or be more male. I just always wanted to be comfortable and not have people around me comment, question or make me feel bad because I'm not feminine enough. I've often passed for a guy without trying to and I kind of enjoy this.

    Would welcome any comments and idea exchange. I'm very new at letting these feelings out. My husband recently retired and got more involved on line in CD forums so it has brought out emotional responses in me too.

  2. #2
    Member LenGray's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
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    Missouri
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    Great to have you here, Jimmy!

    I'm going through some mental confusion about my gender, as well The important thing, I think, is to explore those feeling however far you're comfortable and this is a great place to do that ^_^

    Interestingly enough, what you described about feeling bad because you weren't feminine enough was what got me to cross dress back in high school and what now leads me to believe that I'm transgender. Being comfortable with yourself is always a wonderful thing, regardless of how you find it.

    Whatever you want to talk about, you'll find a supportive environment here

  3. #3
    Gold Member
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    Jimmy, do you know what the gender rules are? I sure as hell do not. All you can do is what makes you happy. Live for yourself.
    You are in good company here
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
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    Bangor Maine
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    Welcome Jimmy, All of what Len says nails it pretty good.
    This is a great supportive place to be just who you are, Welcome.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  5. #5
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Dec 2013
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    Old Hampshire, UK
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    Likewise welcome Jimmy! (My eldest son is a James too... )

    The one thing we all share is a good dose of confusion - many here will say that some of us tend to overthink things, which is probably true, and more so of us older generations... always seeking a definitive answer rather than just getting on with it.
    Interesting for you to be married to a CD too... that has got to be one fascinating relationship with all the little crossovers that must happen...

    I hope you find it interesting here and know obviously that you are more than welcome to participate too... be great to have your perspective on this rather odd place we all inhabit..

    Enjoy!

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  6. #6
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    May 2008
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    waimate new zealand
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    3,326
    Hi,

    Not feminine enough , Hmmm, sounds very familia, Not all women are im talking about females, some of us are quite different, and should not distract from who we are as a person, yet you know like i do some people cant handle differences and when we are different or for some who are tom boys they are seen as different ,

    my agument is so we are different so what, we dont all have to be so straight laced like in a straight jacket we cant do any thing or say any thing or do our own thing,

    people are used to me now they know me well enough and have accepted my difference to the point of they will step in and sheld me when needed, plus they wont me to be part of what we are doing , we all can do things we can all take part in the activitys its a matter of we too must do our part, and join in,

    The other detail is it only about what we wear, or we have to wear what they wear, only in our specity groups though thats different other wise no its not an issue,

    yes i wear skirts much of the time and blouse's tops yet im just as happy in shorts bib overalls and working away, im very comfortable no matter the clothes, clothes were a major issue to me now i can handle it a bit better, and my friends are just that my friends,

    Now gender roles, i'v done both allmost all my life, and see no difference thats because of my difference, and others accept that as well funny as they expect it,

    So when you join masculine and feminine together im some where with both, not one or the other, and im not that bothered to tell the truth,

    ...noeleena...

  7. #7
    Member josrphine's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
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    Nokomis Florida
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    249
    Hi Jimmy B , I too am married to a women that is more male then female . I live my life more as a female then a male. Like you we are in the few of a women that feels more male an a man that is more female. We have a great life otherwise. I hope you are in Florida so that maybe we can get together. My wife an I do a lot together an go out as sisters. The role that she plays is harder then for us I think. I have got to the point that I do look very good as a female. Her on the other hand Its not as easy. We both like our parts so there is no need to go thru the operation. Hope to hear from you JO

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