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Thread: What if your SO happens to be...a guy!?

  1. #1
    Member Taylor Ray's Avatar
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    What if your SO happens to be...a guy!?

    Well, I have had enough experience with this site to realize that this is definitely a "minority" post. But it is true for me, and I was wondering...

    Has any one else felt put down by other gay men who looked down upon cross dressers? I mean, I consider myself bisexual because I enjoy adult intimacy with both males and females...

    but this conundrum has become a recurrent theme lately.

  2. #2
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    The majority of gay men want a masculine man and I am including myself on that assumption...our problem start when we want to express our feminine side then the gay men disappear
    from the scene and that is understandable

  3. #3
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    I get the feeling that this is not a "minority" post as you suggest. Watch the comments fly.

    I'm no authority when it comes to man attraction simply because it's not there for me, However crossdressers and transgender folks who are attracted to guys are a 'dime a dozen', and so are folks who are attracted to CD/TG.

    But I will say that having been into a few LGBT clubs & establishments, there are always a contingency of guys that just aren't into feminine people. That's just the way it is. Notice how I use the term feminine people.

  4. #4
    Pretty in Pink Barbie Anne's Avatar
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    I am bi but am married to a woman and wouldn't cheat regardless. However I have run into this myself and it's not as uncommon as you think. When I was looking for male umm companionship, I found my best luck at one of the local lgbt bars on a night when they were having a drag show. Lots of cds would be there.
    Barbie

  5. #5
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    never have met a gay man who has ever said anything to put me down. they may not want to date me but they have either been complimentary or silent
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    I've had the same experience as Lorileah. I've been treated respectfully by all the gays I know in either mode.

    Sometimes they need to be educated a bit about the "T" end of "LGBT", but I don't consider this to be lack of respect.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Taylor,
    Whatever your lifestyle, I interact with gay people and treat them with the respect they treat me but I am not that way inclined.
    A lot here asimilate with the gay community as that is part of our makeup and what we do.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  8. #8
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    I suspect that some folks in the Community equate crossdressing with doing drag. While that may be an easy linkage to make, the reasoning and impetus behind both are very different. As crossdressers, we are attempting to uncover and reconcile disparate parts of our lives. In varying degrees, that is the imperative. I think most people who do drag do so because it is fun and can be a way to fuel the inner Ham if you entertain. But, they probably are not trying to figure out their relationship to femininity. This is where the information part comes in because I think many in the Community don't really understand the concept of crossdressing.
    Last edited by flatlander_48; 02-26-2014 at 07:01 AM.

  9. #9
    Member devida's Avatar
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    My closest friends are gay men or lesbians. They have all been supportive, interested and pleased for me when I've come out to them as transgender. I've hung out with gay men and lesbians as my primary social group most of my life. In many many years I think the only time I ever had any disrespect was when I was much younger and much more beautiful and one drunk older guy wanted me to turn a trick. I didn't and that was that. I don't even remember a gay man ever making a pass at me except for that one time (oh and I was in business with a lovely man who constantly made outrageous passes at me but that was more of a running joke). I went to an LGBT business networking meeting yesterday. I was dressed fairly femme, make up, tits, flowing pants, pretty obviously not male attire (I was more flamboyantly dressed than most of the women) and I was treated with great friendliness and affection. I was the only trans person there but I was certainly instantly welcomed into the group. I have always found LGBT folk to be far more respectful, supportive and friendly than any other group.

  10. #10
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    I have a few gay people who know me and 4 would be nice friends they know im a female and thats all it is about,

    I have been to very few gay bars clubs at one i sure was looked over apart from i felt out of place though i was asked by my female friend if there was any thing going on at a gay bar club i said no idear ill take you to one and will find out so we did there was a drag show during the week and if she wonted to go then we knew when , myself i was going home 2 1/2 hours away,

    Do i feel comfortable at such a place not really , and why would i go to such places as im not interested any way ill go only when im asked other wise not my hang out,

    What thier interests are is very different from mine,

    ...noeleena...

  11. #11
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    Gay men find us too feminine.
    Straight people find us too gay.
    Suburban married men, out for the evening, truly believing it's not gay if he's wearing a dress, and kidding themselves that their wife would be cool with it, find us very sexy. YUCK!!

  12. #12
    Duchess of Eyeliner Erica2Sweet's Avatar
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    Allow me to approach this from an entirely different angle...

    People put others down all the time. We live in a broken society in a lot of ways and it churns out broken people who are angry, frustrated, obnoxious, sad, lonely, ect and they lash out at times. But as an individual, only YOU can control how YOU feel in terms of reacting to negativity. Others simply cannot make you feel bad in some way if you don't give them the power to do so. So why not take back your power and move on to better things? They say life is indeed short...

  13. #13
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    as Paula said...
    Many years ago I heard it stated as "Too much man for the straights, too much woman for the gays".
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

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