Assumptions

[mechamoose]

I got started on this in another thread... and it was on the subject of who WE are vs that THEY see. We have what makes us feel good, but that is tempered by what the rest of the world sees.

A lot of threads here are on how to look a particular way. Its great we have it available to us, but look at that for a sec... How do we send Y signals rather than X signals? We want to do that on purpose.

We want our world to perceive us a particular way. So we make choices that change that view. Clothes. Attitude. That first 3 seconds. That is what we care about. When people see you and make 100 different decisions about who and what you are.

You send a message about what role you fill when you do that. Guardian or caretaker? Confidant or wingman? Threat or safe?

We do this on purpose. What things are only possible as her and not as him?

- MM

[Katey888]

Darned good question and complementary to the other thread...

I suspect we are likely to have a range of answers dependent on perspective and why we each do what we do and therefore what we perceive as possible... but not to overthink this... the first few things that came to my mind and what I believe I try to project en femme (and what I don't think I could effectively en homme ) are:

Femininity (that might be a glimpse of the blindingly obvious but I think it's important )
Sensuality
Glamour/ beauty
Flirtatiousness/ fun/ joie de vivre
And to some extent, vulnerability (ie. not a threat)

Now ask me what all that means... but in another thread... (I definitely am having another glass of shiraz after that!)

Good Q - Katey x

[docrobbysherry]

Nice thread, Mecha. It so clearly hilites my current dressing dilema.

Whether to appear as the "man in a dress" I present as to everyone, including myself, when I go out dressed?

Or, appear to be an attractive woman when dressing in private?

I don't like the man in a dress look, and am increasingly resisting trying to do both!

[Eryn]

Katey, you missed the most important characteristic: confidence.

There are GGs who possess masculine physical characteristics such as height, build, facial structure, Adam' apples, etc. Even with this they are seldom "clocked" because they assert their presentation with confidence. This is easy for them because they know in their heart of hearts that they are female.

I've never been able to positively identify a "sister" in public, but the suspects who trip my CD-radar the strongest are the ones who move furtively, avoiding contact and moving rapidly from place to place. Few GGs behave in this fashion.

I know that my presentation has flaws. I cannot really resolve some of them like height. All I can do is hold myself straight and own my presentation like a GG would. It seems to work for me.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is all possible as either her or him.

Confidence and caring assertiveness helps a lot when dressed.

[noeleena]

Hi, Eryn,

And thank you.

Some of us dont have that female or feminine look about us ,i dont and i dont dress or do makeup or wear a wig to hide what i look like, masculine facial features, what you see like my photo is what every one see's allmost every day .

and as a PR person does not change anything , i dont get hauled over the coals because i happen to be a masculine woman, theres many of us female's who dont look female .

I know people can and do percive us wrongly we cant help that we were born this way,
I know im am very confident in my self i have to be when you stand in front of many 100's of people and sing by myself or play music or give talks,

hey dont worry i know the last time in Jan i thought oh no you opened your mouth and said youd sing to our group over 100 people i tell you i thought im mad and the night before i wonted to bail out i was stressed out oh help what'd i do,

two of us got up on the night and we both sang different parts and to gether, yes it went well.

What im saying is do we shut our selfs away dont do any thing and hide, yes i know what thats like, not any more, im a doer and get stuck in and do it,

...noeleena...

[Katey888]

Katey, you missed the most important characteristic: confidence.

There you have me, Eryn - my Achilles heel... exposed for all to see... (now I will add that to my list of things to work on...)
Katey x

[Shelly Preston]

The one thing I would say is that you can build your confidence over time. I remember being a nervous wreck the first time I went out even though I knew it was something I needed to do. Over time I will now go almost anywhere without worrying but still being careful. Yes some will still notice but most treat me as a woman and there are some who have no idea I am not a GG.

All the good advice on presentation is here. It just needs put together and adapted to suit each individual.