Wife may have a better understanding now

[Tina_gm]

So.... My wife and I were having a very long and deep conversation. It started off about many of the difficulties we together have been facing lately, not with each other, but just what life can throw at any of us. I had gotten into a major funk a few days ago, and was on a bit of a pity trip about these difficulties.

One of the things I am so blessed with is her incredible way of being able to perceive things and put things into perspective. Well, along the way during this conversation, and there was some religion involved but I will not go further with that, I got all choked up and just said to her, I never asked for this (being transgendered) I never wanted it. I just have always wanted to be normal. I fought it for 30 years.

I was crying pretty good by this time, and crying is not something that I do hardly at all. But boy the emotion was really just pouring out of me. She still has a fear that my being transgendered will lead to a change or a realization of sexual preference. And while saying all this, I also said, I have always just wanted women, I just can't help that I sometimes feel like one and relate to them too. I went on and cried about how hard it is being a society outcast, a misfit, reject, looked down upon, and that so many people equate CDing with being weak and a failure as a man.

Now, it is unlikely that she will ever like this aspect of me, or feel particularly comfortable, And I am ok with that. But what was so amazing is that she told me that society is wrong and that she is lucky to have me and loves me for the person I am, that I have given her more than any other man ever has. Between that and the many other ways in which she was able to put the non CDing challenging aspects of life into perspective, she really turned my mood and my hope that life will get easier. Today I feel truly blessed, and a very luck person.

[PaulaQ]

That's really beautiful gendermutt. Your wife is really an amazing woman.

Many of us can relate to feeling like an "other" - an outcast of society. I'm so sorry for your pain, for I know it well hon.

[daarleane]

Yes, Wife's can be very perceptive. Like you say, life can be hard at times. She loves you and respects you. This is just one more hurdle to overcome, keep trying and do your best. Don't let life's obstacles keep you down.

[MsVal]

In your sorrow you found peace through the love of your sweet wife. I am certain that you are aware of your good fortune. I mention it only to congratulate you and celebrate with you.

Best wishes
MsVal

[kimdl93]

I'm heartened by your wife's comments. Now, with her sincere endorsement, can you begin to let go of those sentiments...about being an outcast, misfit, etc. Though you attribute them to society, isn't it equally true that you accept these labels and apply them to yourself?

[Rachael Leigh]

I know how you feel, it's so hard for our spouse to understand not to mention us.
I'm glad she's doing her best to understand. Maybe there is hope for me

[Janelle_C]

It's so wonderful that your wife is supportive. Your life sounds so much like what I was going though. I started therapy after 52 years of going through what you describe with my wife's blessing. I'm transitioning now and I'm not saying that it would or would not be right for you, but just after a couple of sessions the shame was gone. My wife gave me no promises when we had a very long and tearful discussion. She just said the only thing I can tell you now is, I love you now and I can't imagine not loving you. Almost a year later we are doing great and I feel so free. As you and your wife go on, always communicate and always be honest with each other. I wish the best for both of you Janelle

[Di]

Now, it is unlikely that she will ever like this aspect of me, or feel particularly comfortable, And I am ok with that. But what was so amazing is that she told me that society is wrong and that she is lucky to have me and loves me for the person I am, that I have given her more than any other man ever has. Between that and the many other ways in which she was able to put the non CDing challenging aspects of life into perspective, she really turned my mood and my hope that life will get easier. Today I feel truly blessed, and a very luck person.

Wonderful she might not like it but loves you for you.....WONDERFUL!

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

Gendermutt, it is great that you have a lady like your wife in your life. My wife and I live by the rules of Love, Honesty, Trust and most of all Communication. Our lives are hard enough without us making them harder. My wife knows about "the other woman" likes her as a friend and sometimes understands her even better than I do. Take care of her and keep her close to your heart, but always remember she needs to know that you are there for her also.

[Kristy 56]

You are very fortunate to have such a loving and understanding woman. I also have to say that because marriage is give and take on both sides,your wife realizes all of your fine attributes etc that you bring to the relationship. All the best to both of you!

[Katey888]

While you're right about society and the way it perceives us (which is wrong, and a problem with society, NOT with us..) you've found something that we all seek... just to be loved for the person we are...

You are truly gifted and fortunate in many ways - would that more of us could feel that with you...



Katey x

[Beverley Sims]

I think you have a lot of inner strenght to please your wife and if she can partially accept this side of you you have a better chance of getting her over to your side completely.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

You are a good man , husband , cder & valuable contributor to this forum. Enjoy all that is you. Peace, Mel

[Suzanne F]

Please don't feel alone. I too am facing this overwhelming condition. My wife and I are loving each other through it. Yes some days are better than others. I am on the way to accepting myself. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
Hugs
Suzanne

[Tina_gm]

Thank you everyone. the challenges that I am facing in life right now, most of them are not CD related. They are for the most part normal life challenges, but they are quite a bit more difficult at the present time. That is just how life goes sometimes I guess. It is extremely frustrating and draining. I am incredibly lucky to have the wife that I do. And her acceptance that I am who I am is also something I feel that I am blessed with. I know it will always be a struggle for her, likely to be somewhat discomforting at times, scary at times. I guess because of the posts and threads I make about being cautious about what we may give up or lose because of CDing, I am reflecting of my own experience. I have a lot to lose.