Curious to know how many spouses of cds are excited by cding

[mechamoose]

Man.

Role?

What role does your family need?

<3

[ClosetED]

I thought my wife was tolerant of it for 20 years due to love, but I have since found it was out of fear. So she moved on to loathing it. We have calmed down to DADT. You could say it excites her, but in a bad way.

[Princess Grandpa]

I fall into this category. My wife helped bring Rita to life. I believe my needs could have been satisfied with far less presentation. The wig the make up and forms were all Julie's doing. If too much time goes by without an opportunity to dress she misses it as much as I do. She says she loves waking up and finding Rita on those few days we have the house to ourselves. She is the reason I wear make up and go out. She holds none of the same reservations about being in the general public that plague me.

Her pleasure in my crossdressing is so exuberant I originally worried she was forcing herself because she loves me. I have read many stories of spouses that initially accept then later realize they can't deal with it. I was and occasionally still am worried this could be the case. To hear her tell it, women who don't have a CD for a husband are to be felt sorry for. Women who have a CD husband and reject that side of him are fools who have no idea what they're missing out on. After 30 years of marriage I'm not only her best friend, I am her bestie. I'm still trying to understand the difference.

We see several couples at the club we go to. All of the wives enjoy a pseudo celebrity status. The tgirls appreciate these women who can be so accepting. Julie is outgoing, fun and a great dancer. She is enjoying a popularity like she dreamed of way back in school. Between working, raising a family and a heavy dose of social awkwardness on my part, we never had much of a social life.

While I have always tried to be a loving and attentive husband, there is definately a new dynamic to our relationship. We get mani/pedi's together. When we go shopping, not only am I not bored but actively shop with her. I have a much better understanding of things like trying to decide which jeans to wear today. That is something I never understood. "What's the big deal?just grab some clothes and get dressed" would be my feelings on the matter. Now /chuckle there are so many things I understand better.

We have dabbled in alternative lifestyles all our lives. Perhaps that made it easier for her to accept and embrace this. In the beginning I know she just looked at it as a fetish type game. Initially when I tried to discuss the feelings, emotions and whys of it all she would say things like"If it's because we are freaks I'm fine with that. If it's something more I wouldn't be able to handle it". Well I knew it was more than just fetish. Yes there is a definite sexual component but that's not all that's going on.

With ongoing discussions during the short time since discovery, I have explored those feelings and she has come to understand that it's more than just sex. Equally it is more than the minor celebrity status she enjoys at the club for her. She genuinely misses Rita when long times passes between dressing. I once asked if something happened to me, would you date another CD. I believe once she was ready to date this might actually be a preference for her.

I am a happy.....whatever I am! I love my little tranny chaser

Hug
Rita

[Beverley Sims]

My wife is tolerant but not over enthusiastic.

[reb.femme]

Mine is tolerant, as has been out with me twice, but not something that lights her fire.
Bit like her tv watching doesn't really light my fire, but something I try to get involved with.

Absolutely ditto to that Rachel......oh and stop living my life thank you very much!

I liked Reine's reply. Very succinct and no nonsense.

Rebecca

[mechamoose]

It is about identity. I sounds like your wife Gets It.

Shower her with love & flowers. She will give them back! (I got a wonderful bouquet of roses on V-day!)

<3

- MM

[Jaylyn]

My wife is very supportive and has helped me dress several times. She is not over zealous about it but respects my desire to dress. I love her more for being so accepting. She loves me more for telling her my inner most secrets about it. We have always had a promise to have no secrets between us and she has told me her deepest fantasies and mine to her also. We have even tried many of them, some have been great and some not what we expected.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maya, I wouldn't say excited it's more tolerating it because she knows that after 50yrs it's not going away.

[LilSissyStevie]

It excites her because it excites me. In the same way there are things I participate in enthusiastically because it makes her happy. I have no doubt that she would not have sought out a CD for a mate. But she's cool with it 90% of the time. The fact that I'm a banjo player and she is a classically trained violinist was a much bigger hurdle to get over. Luckily, I was finally able to bring her down to my level.

[cdterri]

Don't think she is excited, but has no problem with it. She alters and makes skirts, dresses, and tops for me. Helps me put things together so I look as good as possible and has never given anything but encouragment, exceptance and love. They are out there people. All you need to do is find one that has un-conditional love.

[avant1465]

My SO is very supportive of me and my CD-ing. Best example: I usually appear "en femme" when we awake and share coffee and the paper, in the morning. One morning, when I didn't appear so, she asked: "Where's Diane (my femme alter-ego) this morning?"

Got to love that girl!!!!.....

[pajeantv]

My Spouse is far from excited, she has reach a point that acceptance is out of the question, even a hint of CD'ing throws her into a rage. Once she evn hit me with a cast iron frying pan, most recently told me she will poison me. best i keep things as quiet as possible

[Tami]

My wife is taking it all in her stride but then we have been separated for 2 years. Lol

[josrphine]

Hi Julia, You have one here, My wife prefers me as a women. We shop together, an go out as sisters. For the last eight yrs. I have had it made. Like some of the other gurls on here she love her Josephine, I am her best girl friend. We also just got married Nov. 4 2013 she wore the dress ( darn ). Avannti 465 if you see this drop me a line.

[DanielleInMI]

My wife is somewhat supportive, helping with choosing clothing, makeup, wig, and jewelry. But she has also said that no she doesn't enjoy seeing me dressed up.

She has said that for her it is probably like me going to the ballet with her and her mom. I'd rather do anything but go to the ballet, but I go because it makes her happy.

At least she is honest and supporting, which is all I need and makes me happy.

[Tina_gm]

@mechamoose, The role my family and wife need.... well, I guess that would simply be just me, father and husband. So long as the CDing does not infringe on this part of me, does not alter this, then my wife is ok with what and how we are going about it.

[Julia Welch]

My wife used to get excited and was very supportive ... That changed to tolerant and eventually morphed into DADT ... I don't know why she changed her mind but she did ...

[Kathyxd]

My GF is both supportive and actively encourages my dressing. She loves to do my make up and pick stuff out for me to wear. I'm extremely lucky.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hello, Maya!

I can't say my wife is excited by the fact that I am a crossdresser. She has stated that she does not want to see me made up fully as a woman, but she also said that if I visited a transformation service at some point, she would be OK with that. She is OK with me dressing (everything but wig, makeup, and jewelry) behind closed doors as long as I keep things in perspective, and I can be her man for much of the year. For that reason, I stop dressing from around now until early Oct every year.

She does, however, very much enjoy when my legs are shaved and smooth, and I take care of my feet and nails. She loves to snuggle under the covers and enjoys feeling my legs in hose and when I wear women's pajamas. She also appreciates the resulting increased libido when I dress. She will participate in what we like to call "fashion shows", where she will model dresses, skirts, hose and heels for me, and I am usually dressed the same way during these sessions. She understands how powerfully and erotic the visual taboo is for me to see my own legs dressed in the exact items as she is wearing, though she says it is not a turn on for her. I'm sure she participates to please me, not her, so I respect her by not going overboard.

She definitely appreciates having a shopping partner and loves my sense of style, so her rapidly expanding wardrobe is a positive aspect to my CD.

It's been evolving since Dec '12 when I came out to her. She has mellowed considerably since she realized it has not taken over our lives. I think as long as I respect her, it will be on balance a slightly positive force in our relationship. I do think that if she could snap her fingers and make it go away, she would. But I remind her there are much more destructive behaviors, which she acknowledges. On more than one occasion she has said, "you're not hurting anyone".

I'll take what I can get. I love her and the kids far more than CD, so I will strive to maintain balance and not cross any lines.

Shibumi

[Diane Edwards]

My ex-wife was supportive, but it didn't happen overnight. She knew about my dressing practically from the beginning of our relationship. (I won't go into that now as it's better left as a separate thread - a lot to tell!), but it wasn't until we'd been together for a couple of years she became comfortable with it, and then came to enjoy having time together with me as Diane.

After we separated (a story I've told before, so I won't go into it again), it seemed she preferred to be with Diane rather than Dave, loved going out with me to shop, dine, hang out, and do all the things two girlfriends do when spending time together. Even now, years later, when we get together (at least a few times a year) she wants to be with Diane. Is she excited by the fact that I CD? Hmm. Not really. I think she's excited to get together with her BFF Diane and no longer sees 'Dave' at all, even under the surface. To her I am just Diane.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife is sometimes tolerent, and sometimes not.

She's in the hear no evil, see no evil, do no evil category.

She doesn't know I have a girl name. She hasn't seen any of my clothes, never mind with me wearing them and vehemently doesn't want to.

The best I can say is that she's gotten to the point where I can tell her I'm going out and she doesn't wince (at least visibly).

At least she's not planning on divorcing me.

I don't expect it to get any better.

[herwannabe]

My wife excepts me as I am, she loves me and is supportive and does buy me clothes at times. Excited? no, just very understanding.

[JessicasRabbit]

My wife is outwardly tolerant, so long as it stays at home and no one else knows.

She isn't fully supportive of it; she has moments where she hints support.

She is most supportive that I do more housework while I'm dressed.

[Melissa Anne]

I would say that my wife is supportive but not enthusiastic, if that makes sense. If I totally quit dressing today she would not be sad. But, she understands my needs and that it is part of who I am, and she has fun with it too. We go out together as women on occasion and she enjoys it and she even says that I'm her best girl friend. She even helps me buy clothes and she actually just made me a new skirt. One thing that probably helps her is that I don't dress that often (only about 6 times a year). If I was dressing weekly or more I think she would grow tired of it very quickly. I'm glad for her support and can't complain at all about our relationship.

[Penny M]

I am not a spouse, but the girlfriend. I am supportive, yet still have questions and am confused by it a bit. I have bought him/her clothes, seen him in full dress once, and have done his make up once. I am supportive because I love him. I am trying to love all aspects of him. It is a little difficult for me though; which is why I am here. I want to learn all I can. I think as long as I don't lose sight of the "man" that I was initially attracted to then I will be ok.