Well its over
Hi girls, sorry i have not been on site as much as i wish i could, as stated my s.o told me to move out, she stated she married a man not a women, we been married for over 30 years,we both have seek counciling/theraply over my issues as a women of how i am. in conclusion of all the meeting we both have attended, it turn out for me to remove myself from her due to her stress over my dressing. I am 51 years old amd i need to be who i am been in the closet for the last 35 years.
I am so sorry that this is the outcome.
Sorry to hear it has ended this way Gina.
I wish you both good wishes for the future.
I'm sorry Gina. Are you considering transition, or are you "just a crossdresser?"
I sympathize with you honey - my wife didn't have much patience for me when I came out to her as transgender.
And you are surely right - you do need to be who you are.
Hi Gina,
You need to be who you are, regardless of the response.
Hugs,
Trisha
Thoughts and prayers are with you, Gina.
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
So sorry for you sweetie. But living in home with a totally unaccepting SO will only build resentment and leave you walking on egg shells for the rest of your life. You now get a "do over", rebuild and try to enjoy.
from an eggshell full closet,
Love KristyE
I am so sorry to hear of your out come Gina. I can relate to your position as I am in the same boat. my wife wants either for it to stop or I move out and I have been honest with her from day 1but now she dosent like it .
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Stay strong.
I notice to that (and I am not talking specifically about Gina's situation here) that if things fail completely, it seems to be quite accepted that it's the guy who has to move out and leave the home. Thoughts anybody?
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
A lot of us feel guilt and throw ourselves under the bus because we feel we've betrayed our spouse by expressing who we really are. It's horrible, and it seems inevitable - or at least I haven't figured out how to avoid doing it myself!Originally Posted by Amanda M
you only have 1 life to live and you deserve to be happy. Say you are sorry and move on. Definitely it will be hard on both of you but you both deserve happiness.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
It's always painful to hear about situations like yours. I'm so sorry that it's turned out this way, but in the end you have to do what you need to do. If your wife really can't deal with things, this may be the best thing in the long run.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
how long has it been since you disclosed, throwing away 30 years seems wasteful,
i know you have to do what is best for you both, was their any effort on her part,
was in the same position in January, together 30 yrs, its DADT now, but it could always go either way,
i hope things work out for the best for you both....
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!crossdressing...theirs an app for that
Sorry for your troubles Gina,
I hope you can get things sorted out soon and move on to a happy life
being the person you are.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Divorce sucks, but it beats the hell out of living the rest of your life living with, and hiding the truth from someone you barely like. Being divorced means you've failed. It's humbling and character building.
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
Gina...sorry to hear about the breakup. ITs good that you both have been seeking counseling over your feelings and relationship and after all these years, it's painful to split. On the lighter side, yes there is one, your last sentence says it all....you need to be who you have been in the closet for the last 35 years....
Please remember this.. When one door closes, another opens. You deserve to be happy !
Hugs
Diane
Hi Gina,
You don't say how long ago you came out to your wife, although you've both had counselling has it had time to work ? I'm very sorry that you have to move out, I'm sure your Cding has not stopped you being a good husband and father, I hope you will still be able to have a good relationship with your children. I do hope you can find happiness at the end of the day.
Hi Gina,
I am very sorry to hear about this outcome. My thoughts are with you.
Hugs
Isha
It's always a sad day when a relationship ends for this reason, one would think there are worst things in life, like gambling all your money away, cheating, drug addiction. I can't totally comment because I don't know you and don't know how your relationship has been for the last 20 odd years and if it is all about the dressing. I told my wife if she ever makes me choose, that she doesn't have a chance I will just start packing. I hope you can still find a happy medium that if you both love and want to be with each other there's always a way. This is not the way I wanted to start a Sunday with a sad story and really feeling your pain. Don't ever give up. I hope you can let us know how your doing in the future.
I'm sorry to hear that Gina...
All you can do now is take this opportunity to move on - I'm afraid we can never be sure how anyone will react to this situation, regardless of the relationship..
My thoughts and best wishes are with you...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
It REALLY does suck when a marriage ends over an issue that can be negotiated. My heart goes out to you. Not to add fuel to an already burning fire, but why do you have to move out and not her?????? It is apparent to me that ALL this "so called" guilt has been heaped on you. Thirty years is a lot of time just to throw away. But consider this; at the very least you could be better off and "be yourself" without shame or guilt. I know it's of little solace but you have "sisters" here!!!!!!
Molly
"To thine own self be true"
My heart can only echo the consoling words of previous posts. Your post certainly raises the flag that cding can be a disastrous variable in a marriage . However, I beg of you, can you tell us the important details of your cd life with your wife, why you think she was so intolerant of your dressing & if there were other factors , outside of dressing, that caused her to revolt yet place the failure blame on your cding? Like many previous responses, disposing 30 years of love , laughter & memories, solely because of your cding, despite going through counseling, is most sobering. I can only say a breath prayer that your pain will ease & that you will find peace in your life. May God always bless you, mel
Oh my, so sad. I can't imagine living with someone unaccepting and don't think I could hang if that were the case. Good luck, Hon.
- Divorce laws play a big part where one party has to find fault with the other and an unbalanced division of asset is allowed.
- Guilt among some men that they caused the breakup and therefore defer to the female spouse.
- Sometimes, women spouses act quicker after a decision is made to breakup and take the lead in capturing assets: bank accounts, investments and HOUSES.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
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