let's flip things over

[lynnef]

in the past few days I've seen several threads about the behavior of wives/SO's regarding CDing, generally the response is to go at the wife/SO's pace/etc..


I wonder though, what would happen (hypothetically) if the situation were reversed, would your wife or SO really go at *your* pace and within the *same* limits she would set for you? Or would she go full speed ahead, not caring what you felt or thought? Or perhaps somewhere in the middle?

Just curious

[reb.femme]

I can't for a minute imagine my wife genuinely CDing, but in support of the hypothetical, I'm sure she would be agreeable to my pace. It's just the way she is.

On the other hand, we discuss, she decides .

Rebecca

[mikiSJ]

I think a better way to put your question is:

What if, after 38 happy years of marriage with very few disagreements, two adult children, nice house in a nice neighborhood your spouse walks up to you one day and says "I have changed and I don't want to be part of this family anymore!".

[ShelbyDawn]

Can't speak for everyone, but my ex very rarely ever thought much about how I felt or what I thought, hence the "ex."

[Marcelle]

We would probably explore it the same way we did with my predilection and come to agreement on how fast, how far but continue to communicate.

Hugs

Isha

[PaulaQ]

No freaking way my wife would've gone at my pace. I'm trying to sell a house she doesn't want anymore as evidence of that - "she had to have it or she'd never be happy again." A HOUSE.

[Rachelakld]

My ex was quite happy to wear blue drab work pants and blue drab work shirt 24/7 for about 15 years of my 18 years marriage.
when I mentioned how lovely she used to look in a skirt, the response was always "build a bridge and get over it".

[devida]

Not in my experience. I was trying to persuade my wife to check out a link on a really great way to apply lipstick and she said she just could not stand to spend a minute finding out how to do something she hated to do! We practically started wearing makeup at the same time. She always wore my clothes and now, mostly, I wear hers. When I told her I was cross dressing she just looked kind of puzzled. I had to declare I was transgender before she understood that it wasn't just fashion but an actual change in gender identity. Btw the tip for applying lipstick is use the thin part of the wedge to outline the lips starting on each side from the corners. Then fill in with the flat part. I use a brush but it works as well. Smile when filling in, do kissy lips for the outilning. EZ. Can't tell my SO!

[Kelly DeWinter]

Lawyer " I object, your Honer, the witness cannot testify as to the defendant's state of mind".
Judge "Sustained".

[Beverley Sims]

I don't know, but as Rebecca has said.....
"We discuss, she decides. "

[Marsha My Dear]

Hi lynnef, sounds like an evening around our kitchen table. We've come a long way since I introduced Marsha to my wife over 25 years ago. For me it was realising that she means everything to me. If I had to choose one over the other, it's good-bye Marsha. There's a whole lot more I would like to explore on my femme side, including transitioning. But with all the latitude I have I still get into hot water because I push the limits of what she will accept. Sometimes the line gets nudged back a bit, sometimes there's fierce recoil. My big picture is losing Marsha would be disappointing. Losing her would be a crushing experience I wouldn't want. I'm grateful for the acceptance, and even encouragement, she shows. Bon chances! -Marsha

[CynthiaD]

My wife would go full speed. With my blessing. But really, she doesn't much care what I think about anything else. Why would she care about that?

[CarlaWestin]

My wife likes to dress comfortably butch so if she wanted to play with a male-ish persona, in demeanor and dress, I think it would be fun. I can certainly do the helpless, sexey female fantasy thing. But, we have our roles dialed in and it works. Oh come on, Hon. Just play along with it, already!