"Do you feel vulnerable when you are out?"

[Jenniferathome]

This is what my wife asked me before I left on a business trip. So I replied with, "Do you mean like getting beaten up?" She went on to explain that when she is out, she is always on the lookout, head on a swivel, so to speak, looking for possible trouble. She tries to project an image of confidence and strength so that she will not be bothered. After a brief thought, I realized I feel no different when I am dressed than when in guy mode. Of course, I'm not going to run someone down in heels and a dress but if bothered, the assailant would be quite surprised at the ferocity of my defense.

It's really kind of sad, that I can walk with impunity and my wife has to worry. As a father of two girls, I am always worried for them.

Maybe this explains all the midnight walks in deserted parks and streets that are posted here? We're guys and the rules of women alone don't apply, regardless of our state of dress.

[PaulaQ]

Unfortunately, those rules do apply. I know trans women who've been raped. You may be capable of self-defense against another man, but against several? Or against someone with a weapon?

You only think you have impunity. My friends did as well. They are both lucky to be alive, although one of them is pretty screwed up.

It's a lot more likely for you than your wife and daughters, that if you are targeted, the attack will result in your death.

[Erica Marie]

All I can say is no matter who you are or where you are now a days, things can happen. I think a cd may be in for more trouble if figured out. An assailant may reap worse on you after finding you are a guy, kind if an act of hate. Either way be careful, keep alert and always have a plan of escape. Plus if you have a purse some pepper spray or anything else your state may allow could be helpful in a worse case scenario.

[PaulaQ]

An assailant may reap worse on you after finding you are a guy, kind if an act of hate.

That's precisely what happens. You generally get raped anyway - and if you are lucky, only beaten within an inch of your life, rather than murdered outright.

[Candice Mae]

being 26 and just over a 130 pounds, I avoid all dark corners and streets.

[Katey888]

I think there's some good advice on here - it's very easy to become blasé about personal safety if you live somewhere relatively quiet and well-policed, or if you go somewhere that's well populated and accepting, but there are some bad people around and they don't always signal their presence...

I've chased a pickpocket in Paris (to no avail - my wife's purse went bye bye from a Metro turnstile) but never been targeted myself in guy mode, but I'm always aware... My eldest son, on the other hand, rarely aware - a bit of a daydreamer - mugged once in London, late at night, another time in New Orleans just off Bourbon St, mid-evening, lots of people around... Both occasions hit from behind, wallet, phone, watch - all gone in seconds... The second assault required stitches in his scalp... And no, he doesn't CD...

My point here - you can never be dismissive of dangers, particularly in cities - you can never be too careful - and it doesn't matter what you know about self-defence or what else you might have to help, legal or otherwise, if someone slugs you from behind (and let's face it, a lot of us probably look quite passable from that direction... ) it ain't gonna help. Awareness is everything - being with friends is a lot more...

Oh - and hey, hey, hey, everyone.... Let's be careful out there...

Katey x

[Alexis.j]

Yes, for some reason I do feel more vounrable when out as a woman. Whether I pass or don't. ..
Best to stay away from dodgy areas and try to not go out alone.

[franlee]

I only feel more venerable due to being handicapped by trying to keep from being involved in the news or a crowd that would stand a chance of exposing Fran to people I don't want to know. But when the chips are down I would just have to do what comes natural and from my training. It's this simple having a secret is one thing but not being around to keep it makes it futile. I believe in the mastercard philosophe, I never leave home without it.

[ArleneRaquel]

About 4 years ago I did feel vulnerable, then it faded away. But in recents weeks my fears have risen, no real reason for it, but I am very skittish about going outdoors enfemme after dark.

[Annaliese]

Like you, I worry about my daughter and granddaughter's.

[Michelle V]

I wish I had a comment to make on the subject but as an indoor CD I got nothing...except; great topic. Can't wait to hear what people have to say and be able to apply it to myself if I gather the courage to go out.
Also, the comment you make about a father's concern for a daughter is very touching. Comments like those give your personality a lot of dimension which always helps the rest of us in this forum get a better idea of who you are.

[Lorileah]

I have been in areas where I did feel vulnerable. A year ago I was invincible. Then I dated a guy in law enforcement. He made me aware that I needed to be alert and ready, no matter who I was

[Talisker]

I did end up once in the middle of town alone after midnight on a saturday.
A few double takes from a couple of GGs but most men were too drunk to see straight. Overall it was full of adrenalin and scary as hell.
An experience to be remembered but not repeated unless in a group.
If you come across a gang of drunk horny men you could be fracked.

Public shopping is safer. Not seen any groups of young drunk men in victorias secret.

[carhill2mn]

If one is presenting as a woman it only makes sense to be aware of your surroundings much like a woman would do. Certainly, I feel more vulnerable when wearing a skirt, nylons and maybe heels.

[Persephone]

Jennifer,

You raise an interesting topic. I want to share my point of view but I want you to be aware that this topic, and a lot of typical "I can handle myself" response, comes up from time to time, so please forgive me for what I am about to say, it is not directed at you but rather at a broad swath of posters here.

My view is very simple. If you respond to female vulnerability with macho expectations then you are merely being John Wayne in a dress.

[RANT OFF]

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Like any woman, or really any person, you always need to be aware of your surroundings and don't put yourself in a vulnerable situation. There are places I will not go dressed as jenny that I would think nothing of as my male self.... but then again, that is the difference. Also you need to look at the time of day, like don't go to Central Park after Dark. Think ahead and be safe to all of you.

[Chardonnay Merlot]

I would feel pretty much the same in boy mode...Remember we have police officers and some private citizens who feels in open season on me...because of a much more glaring feature than my bodycon dress.

[Nadine Spirit]

I have always felt vulnerable. The description of your wife is exactly how I have always felt. Funny that you bring this up as it was something we discussed in Santa Monica and I had not had the chance to contemplate it long enough. But yeah, I have always felt rather on edge while out in public, regardless of how I am dressed. Dressing does not change how I feel. I don't feel more vulnerable while dressed as a girl. I have always put it up to common sense, but maybe it is just because I have always felt like a rather small guy compared to most. But I do feel that regardless of who one thinks they are, or how well one thinks they can defend themselves, I think there are always going to be some situations that you can not defend against.

[julia marie]

I definitely feel more vulnerable when dressed (which doesn't mean I feel all that safe as a guy). I think the wig, purse, skirt, etc. do make us more of a target. I had an interesting and enlightening experience a few months ago. I had dinner at a gay bar, and it was dark (not late but early winter dark) when I came out, and started to walk a couple of blocks to my car. Then I noticed a GG coming in the other direction, and she was acting even more nervous, checking her surroundings, etc. She smiled and said hello when she saw this old broad approaching and that she wasn't alone. I realized that her nervousness probably was situation normal for her and that even the sight of another woman (I guess maybe I pass in the dark) was reassuring.

[Majella St Gerard]

My guard is always up, you have to be aware of things around you at all times. When I go out dressed I don't wear a wig so I'm read right away, I don't try to pass, so I'm aware that I will draw a lot of attention. I just go about my business, I've heard people whisper, seen kids point, the double take, you all know what I mean. I have never been accosted while out crossdressed, I carry myself with confidence but I'm always prepared and ready.

[Rogina B]

Jennifer,

My view is very simple. If you respond to female vulnerability with macho expectations then you are merely being John Wayne in a dress.

[RANT OFF]

Hugs,
Persephone.

I agree! Leave your penis at home! Be aware of your surroundings and think WWAWD..[what would a woman do]

[mariehart]

There is a video out there of some thugs who attacked what they thought were CDs only to find themselves taking a beating from what turned out to be crossdressing cage fighters, of all things. Poetic justice but not realistic.

In truth like a few others here. I'm careful in male mode too. I'm no tough guy and any attacker will overcome me easily. Many men feel they can 'handle themselves' but in truth they're probably as vulnerable as many women. But the one difference is that women are more of a target. A woman alone is vulnerable in a way that men are not and that includes crossdressers. I have in the past seen women walking alone at night throwing nervous glances at me. The irony is that my presence means she is now safer. But I have no way of letting her know that.

[JoiFemm]

Agree, always exercise common sense and try to avoid situations you would no feel comfortable entering. Just like a GG, we women need to be aware because some men feel it is their right to impose themselves on us. As mom always said, " smile and walk away, quickly".

[kimdl93]

I grew up in a very rural area so it really doesn't matter whether I'm en femme or drab...I always have my radar up. And I make it a point to avoid most places where trouble is even marginally likely to happen.

[Adriana Moretti]

some grim thoughts going on in here.....if you are smart and PLAN your outtings well ( parking, streets, exits,bathrooms etc) 99% of the time you will have no issues. There is also strength in numbers...so alone...yea I could def feel a bit nervous I try to do that as little as possible. ..but for me.. as soon as I turned 18 I moved to NYC (Manhattan..then Brooklyn)...i can go ghetto anytime. .the dangerous time out in public though no matter WHERE you are is as the bars are closing or the 2 am late night munchie spot on the weekends...they are dangerous no matter what you are wearing...in fact I avoid this time and places like the plaque.