Sharing your Knowledge CD with the newbies

[Lexi Moralas]

My advice is be careful but don't be afraid! Get out there and do the thing you want to do while you are young and single.
I think a lot of us girls on here would agree that by the time we got the nerve to go out in public we wished we had just sucked It up and done it years earlier! Shoulda coulda woulda's suck ! Lol

[shawnsheila]

Hmmm. I'm not expert (37 years old) but I have been out an about as my femme persona abroad and at home. I would say, be safe, be confident, be honest with your SO and have a good time All of this sound easy but each one has its challenges. Longbeach is a pretty TG friendly city. LA is one of the cities I roam in fully en femme

[Beverley Sims]

Learn, makeup, mannerisms and dress sense.

For me it has to be San Francisco and Las Vegas.

[Krististeph]

Something I picked up- it's a small thing but it is fun to practice- and you can even do this en-drab (not crossdressed)-

To look more feminine: In so much as reasonably possible or practical, try to keep your elbows down, along side your waist. Watch how feminine girls stand or sit- the elbows are never casually flung out like guys do. This is a subtle but powerful indicator of gender within our society.

Also, do the same thing with knees- together when ever they do not need to be apart.

Have fun!

-Kristi

[Caden Lane]

Ladies of crossdressers.com , If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

• That shame and guilt you feel isn't you or your thoughts. It's thoughts and feelings that society had forced upon you. Shed them like you would shed a poorly sized dress.

• Do not purge thinking that it will go away. Purging only leads to regret and a drain of limited financial resources. Secure your things away safely until you sort out your feelings.

• You may never understand why you do this. But what you need to do is learn to accept you as you are, before anyone else can accept you as you are. Love Yourself, and others will learn to Love You. Seek out a trust worthy Gender Therapist. Therapy is a good way to learn to accept and Love yourself, and through that, you will more easily shed that shame and guilt I spoke of earlier.

• Be social, make friends who crossdress, learn from them at every opportunity. Go out dressed, allow yourself to grow. Don't stagnate yourself out of fear. That too also leads to regret. There is many a CDer who wishes she had started going out when she was younger and prettier.

• But trust me on the sunscreen.

[Jodi]

Always remember that none of us are completely passable as women. Don't expect to be passable, but concentrate on being presentable. You will be read by some, more or less. Expect this to happen. Be confident and be who you are. have fun with it.

Jodi

[Helen_Highwater]

I'll base my reply upon the premise that we're talking about a CD'er who wants to be as feminine/convincing as possible and not one who wears a dress and say's to hell with the world.

Observe (and experience) what GG's do. By that I mean walking, gestures, sitting, standing up, getting into/out of a car, carry a bag/purse. There are a myriad of things and these change depending upon age. And lets face it, if you're going to spend a king's ransom on clothes, forms, makeup, wigs and all the paraphernalia we , dare I say it, covet, you're not going to want to end up looking like someone who's dressed for a stag do bet. So I suppose I could sum it up by saying, "Do your homework".

[sherri]

This is a very important subject, I think. My top three tips for a youngster are:

• There's nothing wrong with the sexual aspect of gender expression, and if it's only about that for you, fine, but keep in mind that there is little emotional reward in promiscuity. A better approach would be to focus on the whole person -- in other words, make sex part of a relationship, not the whole point.
• The majority of CDers are probably not candidates for full-blown transition to life as a woman, in which case, keeping your gender expression in perspective and achieving a balance is extremely important. We all give in to the pink fog and daydreams sometimes, but remember, life is about more than skirts and lipstick. Don't make foolish choices and don't burn bridges.
• If you do feel like you are destined to be a full-time, totally "out" femme person, and that feeling never goes away, then again, remember, your life isn't just about what gender you are. You're still going to have to make a living, you'll still want love, etc., and you need to prepare accordingly. You'll have to try even harder than a non-TG person. In fact, the only transsexuals I'm aware of that are leading successful, satisfying lives realized the obstacles and challenges of their choices and prepared for success. Advanced college degrees make a difference, as does choosing a career field where you can fit in and succeed. And if you find someone who loves you for who and what you are, realize the gift you've been given, be faithful and love them back. If this is the life you want you're going to have to make it happen, so be smart about it.

[Debi]

Always be upfront with a partner about your CDing or your Trannyism, before it goes too far. You have to face the fear of rejection, but you shouldn't move forward and marry and so on without being honest. You owe it to your partner and you owe it to yourself. Life is FAR better when you don't have to hide who you are.

That is probably my best piece of advice.

D x

[darla_g]

General advice: enjoy yourself & never feel guilty

Specific advise: learn contouring techniques it makes a huge difference in a feminine look

[Karren H]

I say let them learn from their mistakes... we did! do.... lol

[Lorileah]

Rule #1. You are not strange or weird or perverted. You are normal
Rule #2. Life is short, even if you think right now you have forever you don't.
Rule #3. Be happy, you need to be happy. Life should be fun
Rule #4. You don't know everything. Your SO has a brain and you should allow them to use it. Don't make their decisions for them
Rule #5. Have confidence, this one is important no matter what you wear

I would say don't worry about details like walking or hand motions or anything anyone says "all women do"...they don't and when you get too detail oriented you will stand out even more. Be you, everyone is different.

[Nadine Spirit]

Rule #1. You are not strange or weird or perverted. You are normal.

Lorileah stated my 1 piece of advice quite well.

[Leslie Langford]

My fundamental advice would be to realize that the first time you step out into the big, bad world en femme, there really is no huge flashing neon sign hovering above your head shouting out "Crossdresser! Crossdresser!" for all the world to see, and that no townsfolk brandishing lit torches and pitchforks will descend upon you to drag (no pun intended - LOL!) you off in chains.

If one is reasonably "passable" - bonus points, but even if not, most of us can blend in without attracting too much undue attention. As others here have said, it's all in the attitude and the presentation - if you dress appropriately for the occasion, act the part, and above all, show confidence and conduct yourself as if you own the place, others will pick up on that positive vibe and respond to you accordingly.

Whenever these types of discussions are raised, I am always reminded of that priceless line from one of my all-time favorite movies - "Hear No Evil, See No Evil", starring Richard Pryor as the blind character and Gene Wilder as his deaf counterpart, with the comedy centering around how those two (mis)communicate given their respective disabilities. When at one point Gene's character makes reference to the fact that Richard's character is black, he is astounded and replies incredulously "I'm black??? Does my mother know?"

We should all be so oblivious to our male sides when going out en femme, just go with the flow, and savour every moment of it...

[sanderlay]

The ONE and most important piece of advice I would give is...

Confident in Yourself as a Person, your Self-Esteem.

[Eryn]

Always remember that none of us are completely passable as women...

By the severe criteria we impose upon ourselves, a lot of GGs aren't passable either! Luckily, the general public is much less judgmental than we are on ourselves. This politeness about the failings of others is what allows us to enjoy relative freedom in public.

[Chari]

No matter where you are on the gender scale, always be comfortable and confident with your presentation! Enjoy.

[Lorileah]

By the severe criteria we impose upon ourselves, \

we dissect way too much

[julia marie]

Remember that many women are actually pretty accepting and non-judgmental when they meet/deal with a CD. Surprising but true, at least in my experience (sales clerks, waitresses, etc).
However, they aren't terribly accepting when it comes to seeing that the "woman" in the next ladies room stall has her toes pointing toward the toilet while peeing.

[Wildaboutheels]

I seriously doubt that ANY GG who waters here ever worries that her "runway strut" while wearing heels makes her look like a man. [For all you CD busters out there] Nor do I think any of them toss and turn incessantly all night in bed because they don't have a voice like Jaclyn Smith.

But...I could be wrong.

[Eryn]

...when it comes to seeing that the "woman" in the next ladies room stall has her toes pointing toward the toilet while peeing.

IMO, it must be vanishingly rare that a CDer would be so insensitive as to do this in a ladies' room. It might have happened at some time, but I doubt that any of the CDers here would do that.

[franlee]

Since the question was the One most important thing. It is don't try to rationalize (or overthink) what you are, just enjoy it with common sense.

[Amy Fakley]

hehe, seems like everyone has the deep stuff covered.
Here's something practical that I learned the hard way.

this is the right way to get makeup off:

http://www.amazon.com/Neutrogena-Mak...makeup+remover

especially eye makeup. And if you're needing to get it off more than once a day (hey it happens) ... and especially if you're needing to shave your face makeup-close every day for more than a couple days at a time, you'd better get to moisturizing or your face is gonna be a mess by the end of the week. I find this to be a good investment as well:

http://www.amazon.com/Cetaphil-Fragr...words=cetaphil

look ... nobody tells you this stuff when you've been a dude your whole life ... LOL, finding out the hard way was rather irritating <pun!> :-)

[jamie-upstate]

Exercise, eat healthy, and dress age appropriate

[Paula_Femme]

I would say be true to yourself, AND any potential partner.

I have absolutely zero hang-ups about my CD-ing, and I've always been up-front about it when starting a new, potential, relationship.

Sure, I've had Women walk away because they can't/don't want to deal with it - no judgement here, it is what it is - but better to find out at the beginning than down the road when you're both becoming emotionally invested in the relationship.