Feeling embarassed by dressing in front of spouse

[UNDERDRESSER]

I feel a little embarrassed sometimes, I'm not dressing as a woman, (no wigs, forms or bras) but I am experimenting with various types of skirts, also stockings (thigh highs actually) sometimes pantyhose, though I'm getting fed up with those, and the thing that is most surprising to me, thongs. I had always said that thongs could be pretty sexy, but most people don't have the butt for it. These days, I'm in pretty good shape, fantastic shape for my age, and it's turning out that I do, have the butt for thongs. (well I think so, it may be that I'm kidding myself??)

My GF refuses to wear them, mostly because she thinks they are torture devices, I would like it she would try some of the newer, seamless ones, she definitely has the butt for them! I feel weird somehow having her see me in one. Not sure why. Same with thigh highs, uncovered, i.e. no skirt.

[sandie]

I dont know how I feel she has come into the bedroom and chatted with me about things without batting an eyelid but I do feel a little bit uncomfortable I wish I could accept it like she does

[Aylineira]

I've never felt embarrassed except for when I told her initially. But as far as what I'm dressed in, I normally put dresses on that goes to the knees and doesn't show a lot of skin anyways and so I'm never revealing in any sort of way that could get myself embarrassed.

[Nikki50/50]

The first time was not so much embarrassment, as it was a severely high self-conscious vulnerability. After that, it was nothing. Mainly due to my wife actually preferring to watch me dress (and undress) and enjoys it very much. Personally, I suspect she enjoys nit-picking as I go, kind of like a side-seat driver (which she does, and also why I don't drive when we get in a car together HAHAHA).
The only thing she adamantly refuses to watch is when I put on make up. Let me clarify: I don't put on make-up, I'm "not allowed". She does it for me LOLOLOLOL.

[Lynn Marie]

The first few times my lady friend saw me I was enfemme. I was in drab for our first meeting/date. Yet I do feel awkward dressing in front of her. It just seems a little ridiculous. I love being her man and also her "girlfriend" out on the town. She likes both of me and often wants Lynn to go out with. She loves my CD girlfriends and is really quite a hit wherever we go. Actually we're both quite a hit when out. We both love entertaining and being in the center of the party. I know I have the best of both worlds and I'm grateful. I just like being a "hunky boy" in front of the ladies even though they feel so much more at ease with me enfemme because I became non-threatening then.

[trisha kobichenko]

Hi, I came out to my spouse a couple of years ago. Some times dressing is welcomed, sometimes accepted, sometimes not so much. I struggle a little with what is the right time to dress, and how to 'announce' my desire to dress. Haven't got a handle on it yet. Sometimes I ask, and get the response 'Do what you want to do, why I are you asking? Other times I don't ask, and get either acceptance, or no response...not sure how to handle no response.
Would love to hear how others deal with this.

[carolynn2fem]

I know I would be uncomfortable dressing in front of her because she is uncomfortable with it. If she was to get past that I'm not sure how I would feel. I know that I would like/lover her encouragment

[Marcelle]

Hi Maya,

Early in my dressing I was completely unwilling to let my wife see me unless I was complete "en femme" (make-up included). For me it was a psychological barrier I could not leap in that I did not want my wife seeing her "man" partially clad in female garb. It wasn't until she brought it up in one of our "CD chats" that I took the leap to let her see me partially dressed (no make-up, wig) girl clothes. It has become common place now as when I am at home dressed, I seldom wear make-up (too labour intensive just to watch television and chill). However, I still won't walk around the house in just panites and bra in front of her as that is still one barrier I can't leap . . . yet.

Hugs

Isha

[Jillian Faith]

The only time I was slightly uncomfortable dressing in front of my wife was when I did my tucking thing, Her eyes got a little big but once I explained everything she was fine ans so was I. Now I can dress, undress, wardrobe change etc. in front of her with no embarrassment.

[Krisi]

I'm not embarassed being dressed in front of my wife but I'm a little embarassed getting dressed in front of her.

The panties are no problem, I wear them every day. It's putting on the forms or wig that I would rather not do in front of her. Once they're on, no problem.

[Heather-Hill]

Hi Everyone, my wife has come to terms with it to some extent, however, she stipulates ;
1. She doesn't see it, so I am banished to the bedroom on my own.
2. I am limited to 1 day a week full en-femme but I can wear under garments a little more frequently ( but again she does not want to see them ) !
3. Purchasing of feminine items is done without her input.

I first CD'd over 30 years ago and she used to see me dressed quite often and occasionally helped with my makeup especially if I was going to a TG meeting. Due to work commitments and relocation etc plus raising a family it all went on the back burner.
For some reason my CD'ing came back with a vengeance and she fears a return to the 'bad old day's' ......oh well maybe just maybe.!

Hugs
Heather

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maya, I think that it's a little bit of guilt and shame.
My wife tolerated me but it's a DA---DT kind of thinggie
she doesn't want to see me as Orchid.

[maya1love]

I'm not embarassed being dressed in front of my wife but I'm a little embarassed getting dressed in front of her.

The panties are no problem, I wear them every day. It's putting on the forms or wig that I would rather not do in front of her. Once they're on, no problem.

I can understand that -- I guess it's like a woman changing in front of her spouse -- she may not want him to see everything!

[bridget thronton]

I think it is a modesty thing - having your spouse watch you go from naked to clothed takes some getting used to. My spouse sees me dressed all the time (and I do not scurry for cover if I am not fully dressed any more)

[Kiva]

I've been out to my wife, and dressing in front of her from time to time, since 1986. I still feel uncomfortable.

[MustangGirl]

My current wife does not mind me wearing panties, pantyhose, and night gowns. She is not accepting of me dressing fully, so no, I am not embarrassed getting dressed in front of her because I never have. She has seen pictures of me fully dressed.

My late wife was very unaccepting when she first found out. It took some time but she finally came around to being fully accepting. That being the case, yes, I was embarrassed the first few times I got dressed in front of her. As time when on, it became easier. Sadly, just as we got to the point of going out with me dressed she got sick, and then passed away.

[ColleenA]

When I first dressed in front of my SO, I felt most awkward putting on a bra (I don't wear forms). Any other article of women's clothing had a corresponding piece of male clothing. Panties? Boxers. Blouse? T-shirt. Skirt? Pants. Dress? Pants and shirt together. (For some reason, I had little embarrassment putting on pantyhose, which is a poor correlation to socks.) But why would a man need to put on a bra? It is an irrelevant item for us. So I felt kind of ridiculous being observed as I put on something that I had no use for.

Eventually, though, that embarrassment diminished, and now I ask her to play with or fondle my "boobs" and bra.

[samantha rogers]

I don't think I would be embarrassed, though I am unlikely to find out...sigh...my wife, though she knows, has no interest in seeing me dressed.

[Flik]

I have no problem dressing in front of her, with everything except a wig. For some reason that is the only thing that bothers her I would be alright with it if she was.

Exactly the same with my Girlfriend. Growing out my hair though, will see what I can do with it.

[Cheryl T]

I felt embarrassed for a while after I came out to her.
I think it was mainly that it was new and I didn't want her to think less of me (whatever that would be).
Now it's just as routine as anything else and neither of us feel embarrassed at all.

[Eryn]

I certainly felt embarrassed at first. It was my hindbrain still telling me that what I was doing was wrong. As we both got more used to the idea it doesn't bother me any more.

[Paula_Femme]

...However the closer I appeared to looking female the worse she would push back. So it was at most a little adrogenous just to keep the peace.

I've heard of this before, sounds a little like the "Uncanny Valley" response that has been observed in the fields of robotics and computer animation... the film "Polar Express" was another good example.

[noeleena]

Hi,

A little different this part.

in 1959 my Mother had major surgery, she was in the San for 9 months breast and lung and large scars on her front and back, i was about 12 and had to do her dressings back and front, and help dress her, plus wash her as well. i did a lot of help in other ways as well.

So there would be no reason for me to ever be embarrast in and around others ever half or undressed , later with Jos not at all the only thing that did and does embarss myself is how i look, im just who i am and thats never changed,

how do i say it, im not embarrist with my clothes, im more embarrist in my facial features, because i dont look more like who i should, no im not jealous of other female's more disapointed in myself, Jos would help me in picking clothes we did that together and i spent evenings doing my makeup if it was good okay and other wise i was told get it off and redo it,

...noeleena...

[LICutie]

ok, am gonna reply before i read others posts so that i will be uninfluenced in my answer.

i definitely would feel embarassed by getting dressed in front of a spouse... and almost everyone i know for that matter. eek. that's probably because i am 99% closeted. but maybe a wife could love my little secret and it could rekindle the flame of our relationship?

maybe a reason for this feeling for the embarrassment is cultural conditioning embedded in our core?

it would be great if we could just be who we are and allow others to be who hey are as long as no ones forcing anyone into anything they don't wanna be or do...

specific items of clothing that make me feel embarrassed, none... although i do feel incomplete until i am as transformed as fully as can be even crudely (yet that has never stopped me from feeling and being in touch with my femininity even if just in my mind or birthday suit or dressed in any level).

[susan lewis]

I have my wife put on my makeup and help with clothes and wig when hse has the time. She likes for me to look as passable as possible, and keeps me from too much makeup and too high on the heels. I use to feel little funny undressing but now love to lounge around in regular clothes with my makeup still on. I am lucky she accepts it and is part of my feminine side.